Tend the garden

Worldly honor surrounds us
bearing its sweet heavenly fruit
if we but tend to the garden
humbly, with love and faith

04201996

Let it be so

Help us be the creatures of light we're meant to be,
that which we truly are.
Let love live in the center of our being,
filling every cell.
Let us give our hearts to the world,
giving it substance.
Our essence is to live and love,
let it be so.

04041996

Under a veil

No dreams, no prophets,
just a veil to hide behind,
until the ceremony is done....
no angels, or vibrant skies
release is waiting for the brave
for all the rest will find none

04271996

To lift those clouds

Today, I postponed my work on the hill and planting to rest and go to town with friends. We visited another nursery with beautiful blooming roses and I encouraged my friend to add one to her purchases, instead, she added two, as she could choose between them: majestic white and glorious orange, as well as healthy lavender. I saw large wisteria and a lilac that would, either one, look lovely climbing up the side of the deck, the first I must prepare the flower bed by enclosing it in rocks, for which I bought a bag of cement, and then break up the hard dirt and add mulch in planning mix. If it is meant to be, the right one will still be there when I return. I must remember the proper preparation always comes first; the rest is in God's hands.

I found a cookie jar for my daughter's kitchen. She needs little surprises to let her know she is loved, even though she's across the country. The ties that bind are strong and reach far. Little things can and do mean so much.

My friend here is still suffering from depression, as is my daughter, one over finances and one over hair loss. Things will work out for both of them but when you are in the dark night of the soul it is hard to see the sun's rays breaking through. The clouds seem thick and dense and almost enshroud us until we learn to really see. Then we find they are but a mist that can be blown away by the breeze or lifted by the warmth of the sun. So too can we be lifted up when we allow God's light to shine through and help us look with greater clarity and less fear.

Sometimes what we experience are but life's little lessons to strengthen us and to prepare us, like a flower bed, for the beauty that will come into our lives and grow and prosper, that will blossom profusely and bring joy not only to us but all who behold the radiance of God's work fulfilled.

There is a time for all things under the sun God reminds us inpatients and faith are but a few of the lessons we learn.

05261962

Great changes in my life

I have been rethinking my blessings of this past year, the ending of one chapter in my life and a whole new world that has been given to me. I have achieved closure in some areas and a new door has opened. I have been transported from being enclosed away from wide-open spaces to the beauty of God's country.

I know that God answers our prayers and needs, not in the limited way it is our nature to believe, but in a greater, fuller, richer, way than we could imagine possible. I wanted space and God gave me a home on the hill with an endless expansive sky, great forested areas and a view that goes on for miles that takes the breath away. Where I formerly felt suppressed, I now feel serene and expansive.

God wants more for us than we possibly could ask for ourselves. I was in a job that had suppressed my joy and an estrangement with family that left me feeling empty at times. I've found when you ask God you'd better stand back for answers come quickly and in and abundance that can stagger our imaginations. The same day I prayed the job that was sucking the life out of me ended and a healing began, not just physically and mentally, but in a great spiritual growth that is taking me on a new path. God gave me back my dreams and the time and training to put them to use and, I'm sure, the expectation that I do so.

The gulf with my immediate family has not improved much and have learned you cannot force what others have no desire to give, but God has given me a wealth of family I never knew. Shortly after my prayer two cousins came back into my life I had not seen in many years and thanks to our mutual interest in genealogy I now have a wealth of cousins in a multitude of countries I'm getting to know and opportunities to travel and meet them. It is a healing not only for myself but others as well.

I've also been blessed with the new granddaughter who is dear to my heart and fills my life with joy even from miles away, as do all my grandchildren. God does give us what we need when we need it and all we need to do is ask and leave the answer to Him. Then be prepared to 'receive' and 'believe' that it will be so, for God loves us unconditionally and completely.

12021990

Flowers and family

The air is crisp today, so it is on with the sweatshirt, instead of the short sleeve T-shirt of late. Misty clouds hang low over the mountains and a steady breeze blows the flower windmill I bought myself yesterday, that has a little garden angel in the middle and blue petals, around and around and as it spins I work in my garden planting more marigolds. Their bright golden, yellow, and mixed rust colors give spots of sunshine along the border of rocks I am creating on the hill. It is if they say," here I am." I also plant two different kinds of mint with the hope they will spread out beneath the roses. In another area I plant Golden Sage with its multicolored leaves of green and yellow and along the border two Hardy Sage with their blooms of lavender.

When I water some of the boulders on the hill dislodge and I have to reset them, which is a heavy and muddy task. Luckily they did not completely crush the marigolds beneath them but did decapitate a Golden flower. I still have two new roses to plant but I will save them for another day. One already has a bud that will soon be ready to open. I do need to start the row of boulders along the drive but first I need to get some concrete to set them in place then I can fill it in with flat rocks and an occasional flowerpot or small bust to add height and color.

The squirrels are so active today, running all over the decks and yard as if they missed my company yesterday and are trying to get my attention today. Their antics certainly make me laugh and amuse the neighbors as well.

I take time for my emails and to write my newly discovered cousin in France. She and her husband are coming to the states next month and we may have the opportunity to meet them, although my son is too shy to ask. She has sent the date, hotel, flight and phone number, which I sense is a desire, on her part, and opportunity for all of us. I'm quite excited over the prospect.

When I prayed to God for greater closeness with family He answered with an abundance I had not anticipated. I now have cousins I am in contact with in the states, Canada, France and Chile. He has brought me whole new world of family and I am grateful.

06011990

Off to Ventura

It's off to Ventura today: to visit friends, the beach, the Angel store, and browse wherever else the whim carries me and to lunch on the pier. I've been looking forward to it all week and get an early start.

I have brought along my pictures of God's country at my friend's request and she loves the many changes of weather I have captured on film: the snow-covered hills, the cabins, and wildlife. She laughed at the series of Pesky, the squirrel, stealing the cotton out of my chair cushion on my back deck. Of course, she loved the tall pine trees and has tw on her back deck that are so big and tall, still in containers, she doesn't know how they will be moved out of there and she would love to have somewhere to plant them, but wants it to be her own place, which is impossible where she lives as her condo only has decks for yards.

My main purpose of going to Ventura was to file my income taxes but I did not make enough for that to be possible and my CPA refused to charge me for her time so I gave her a gift of greeting cards to use.

It is an overcast and chilly day. Still, there were surfers out in the water, one windsurfer that fascinated the children at the next table, plus a few speedboats and young people in shorts running up and down the wharf. This weekend fishermen were out doing their best to bring in a catch or two while I just sat absorbed my surroundings. As well as enjoyed wonderful meal and the smell of the sea air.

It's big treat to have lunch on the pier at one of my favorite seafood restaurants. The extra sourdough bread comes fresh and warm, they have coleslaw unique and unequaled, and the fresh cod has me salivating. The atmosphere, of course, looking ride out over the water draws me to a window seat when it is too chilly to sit outside. I feel totally relaxed and rejuvenated as I always do watching the waves play against the shore.

I couldn't resist going to visit the Angel store nearby. I found a statue of the Arch-Angel Uriel that is unusual; I've never seen one before so, of course, I broke down and bought it as well as a Boyd's bunny for my granddaughter. At that Gifts from Earth shop I found some charcoal incense and a beautiful pair of earrings for my daughter. She buys everything the baby needs and nothing for herself. She needs an Easter gift from the heart as well as things for the baby. I know she will be surprised.

04051992

Higher Selves

When we choose and identity,
we begin to build our essence...
from within it starts to grow,
that higher self we call divine,
for we are the source, us true

04041996

Brought to Life

I am wonderfully rich in consciousness. I am bountifully supplied with money and love. I now realize my plan for abundant living. I see my bank account continually filled with an all-sufficiency to meet every need with a divine surplus. I lovingly see myself sharing this bounty for the good of all according to the Father's guidance. I happily see every bill paid now. I joyfully see every obligation met, with great delight. Let me use love and wisdom to bring the dream to life.

08131996

Getting Lost

If you have a sacred place and use it, take advantage of it, something will happen. You'll connect with who you are, and who you might be. I've noticed other people's sacred space and I admire them for it. I've had dreams of a sacred space for myself, telling me I have a need for that quiet sacred spot. A place to celebrate, concentrate and consecrate my inner self. And so, I gather meaningful objects that evoke love and gratitude. Building a meditation table, covered with a lace cloth, angel candles, stones, and incense. Flowers too, along with my rosary, and here I lose myself in my being, one, part of all that is.

05201996

A better place

Bring healing to all who seek wholeness.
Help others who silently suffer.
Offer help to those in need.
These are things we can all do.
Making the world a better place.

03211996

My Angel

Open my heart once more
illuminate the world with love
be the source of my strength
my angel there to guide me

03231995

Ups and downs

The owner of the antique shop called, they've agreed to carrying my card line and will gladly accept the note cards too if they have the same sort of pictures, I assured them they do. The one problem I see is they upped the price to $4.95 each so that they could take a profit of $2.00 per card which is more than 60%. They had originally told me the consignment was 10%, but either they have great faith in the sales or are suffering from greed or need.

I stopped to deliver the cards when I went to the post office, which is when I discovered the change in price although they are nicely displayed at the front counter. I'll leave it in God's hands but will visit some of the other shops, like the flower shop and candy store, as well as the hardware store, and see if they will carry them as well at a more reasonable price. I also want to put out an ad for my graphics and post it in the post office and wherever else they will allow. I also need to get my business cards redone with my correct address and phone number. It is on one of my discs, I just need to locate it.

I enjoyed making more little notecards. I lose myself when I am editing my pictures, highlighting the colors are bringing windows out of the shadows, removing unwanted cable and phone lines and making other small changes and seeing the finished product.

It was a necessity to spend time on the phone with the phone company as months after I returned a phone they sent I am still being charged for it even though I had canceled the order before they even put it in the mail and they claim they could not find any order for. Then I had to call the credit union to straighten out another problem. The third irritation on my list, the asphalt that sunk into the snow over the newly placed septic tank, had to wait as the person I needed to speak with wasn't in. It seems I almost have to take myself out of the state of peace and grace in order to deal with these people and even my journaling becomes stilted and more about facts than feeling.

I'm sure I can build the wood planters, add a framework for trellises and maybe even build a bench to sit on. I walk around the driveway area under a large oak and picture where I would put each planter, the doorway, and the rock planter I would like to build next to the stairway. That will come to life as well. The back area toward the forest I would leave open and I would put out lots of pots of different heights and shapes with a multitude of flowers in every color you could imagine. The beauty of nature is something I meditate upon.

04011996

Working in the Garden

I'm up really early and watch the pink tinges of dawn lighten to a white cloud streaked blue. The golden marigolds look very chipper from atop my deck and boulder railing has grown significantly. A wee chipmunk darts forward then nervously runs back to hide beneath my car. Finally his curiosity outweighs his timidness and he scurries to investigate the new landscape taking place, sticking his little head between the large rocks that to him truly are boulders. It's like he is saying "check it out, great caves!" There are an unaccountable number of birds as well, in profuse variety and color. As the hill develops, so does their interest.

My neighbor next door also came over while I was planting the roses. she says it is disgusting to be up so early and ambitious. She came back later to check on my progress and told me she had been watching me from her dining room area and gave me her stamp of approval. She and her husband seem to be reluctant to see changes made in the place, as the were friends of the former owners although they seem not to be in touch now that they moved. Getting acceptance from an established area when you are the new kid on the block takes time but they all wave and speak now so I assume I am gradually becoming part of their world.

The yard is full of birds; most of them have adjusted to me and often will stay still and watch me work. At times they all take flight but always return again in a short while. They seem delighted that I have dug up some dirt while planting and peck at it hunting for bugs to eat.

I spent time making more of the note cards while I am waiting to hear whether the antique shop agrees to carry the larger ones. I feel that those who only dash off a note would prefer smaller cards.I also worked on the postcards but am unhappy with the quality of paper (very flimsy) and will have to adjust the settings to print them as they are off line with the paper.

I need to spend time on the house as I have neglected it lately for the yard. I do keep up with the decks everyday so that it is not piled high with empty sells and I have been looking through my gardening magazines for ideas. A secret garden at the end of the drive would be nice, and to build some large wooden planters. They even have instructions for some of the projects.

03191989

Blessings and Home Work

Today I blessed my home with Holy Water, Prayers, and a smudge stick, inside and out, as well as in the mudroom. Having dead birds on the decks and another rat in the wood bin bothers me with its negative energy. I invited God and the Angels to dwell here in peace with me.

I also worked on my rock trellising. I found several boulders on the vacant lot next door but I was unable to dislodge them or lift them. I did gather some smaller ones and added them to the line I have started. A little cement would probably not hurt either. I brought a good-sized boulder up from the back yard to add to the rock wall I am creating. If I added just one a day, in a month I would have put up 30 boulders which could make quite a difference, so that will be my goal.

I plan to continue to add more roses and maybe more carnations as well and to start the walkway up the hill. I need to build a frame of 2X4s for the walkway and I will need a layer of small rocks as a topping so the steps will not be slippery. In the meantime, I need to investigate more about how to do this. I try to picture it in my mind, I am good at visualization from my years of artwork but know-how helps.

I get my love of gardening from my father, watching him shape and prune, and the plants thriving in an abundance of blooms with his guidance and care. I still have to find which are the best plants to grow up here, so far I know roses survive, citrus and avocado trees don't. I know that blueberries should because they grow back east and in Canada and that Wisteria and Lilacs do every well. I don't know where I put my Tulip bulbs and I need to locate and plant them soon or wait until fall.

I want to make a level spot for the barrel on the hill, right now it is taking up a good deal of space on my lower deck. I want to removed the bottom legs from the coat rack and plant it on the hill as well so I can hang plants and bird feeders from it. It would make an interesting conversation piece and there is not room for it in the house.

The railing for the stairway still hasn't been delivered or installed and I have no idea when the handyman will bring it. The pace of getting things done up here is amazing in its slowness but I hope it is soon. Then soon it will be time for deck work but I will wait until closer to summer. I'm still thinking of staining it first and then putting on a protective layer to preserve the wood. The winter snow dried it out a lot and I'm not sure that it has ever been treated before. Of necessity I will be doing a lot of the work myself. My other goal is to get more family pictures framed and hung to put valances in the living room rear windows. Progress may be slow but it is taking place.

03191992

Back to you

My quest came when I needed it
the journey strange and unfamiliar
the road difficult to navigate
the end elusive, the lessons too
all to grow, learn and get back to you

12261996

Touch the Depth

Death, rebirth, sex, psychic ability,
touch the depth of my being....
creating a universe to explore,
a vision of transformation...
where all is illuminated
and we become ourselves...

03211996

Leave It

Once I started down the path
there was no turning back
just days and days of discovery
learning what I need to know
leaving the rest long behind

03161996

Guide Me

Angels guide me
to make decisions
that will be the best
choices that grow
leading me along
to where I need to go

03131996

Roaming the hills

I took a ride into town, mainly to get rid of the leavings from the rat's nest, ugh! I am grateful my friend Phil helped me clean out the wood box, which it had moved into and was preparing for its upcoming family.

I keep washing my hands but still feel the need to reclean them when I handle anything in the vicinity of the rat. Needless to say, I hate rats and I'm not fond of snakes either. I'm proud of myself that I set the trap and disposed of the dead create and will rest it again, just in case.

On a pleasanter note, I found and brought home my first boulder. I have decided to terrace the hill with boulders for that is within my budget, free. I need to search them out and plant them like flowers on the hill. A lot of homes up here have rock walls. I will keep my eyes open for healthy prospects about that area that I am able to lift. The first one is in place in front of the new rose bushes and looks right fine there.

I also followed my whimsy up and down the roads and hills, finding new homes in forest settings, some still covered in snow, and getting more pictures for my collection. It was relaxing going at my own pace and stopping at will. The car heated up when I got home from all the climbing in low gear but recovered nicely within a few minutes.

There are marvelous homes set way back from the road with tall pines for a front yard and houses clinging to the side of a hill that is their front year if air can be a yard. Some are hidden behind a curve and like a miracle, or a mirage, come into view at a road's turn, like magic. Now you see it, now you don't only in reverse. There is so much more for me to explore and I would love to have family and friends just ramble with me and share my amazement and wonder.

I love to work in the garden and wonder what I can create here. I've never had a hill to work before. It is a new challenge, one I am anxious to see come to life. Somehow I want it to be magnificent, breathtaking, and peaceful, a tribute to Go for the gift of this home and my new life and experiences. I feel truly blessed.

Tomorrow I will bless this home. I will sprinkle Holy Water around it, burn the sage smudge stick and say a prayer and ask the angels to join me. I feel their presence. This is a place of healing, of peace, and of creativity. I ask God's guidance in all that I do.

03121990