Sunglasses

I hide behind sunglasses
so none of them
can see the pain behind
the eyes... socketless
I always forget to put on
lipstick... or I'm just too lazy
my fingernails peel
but I won't bite them
in nervousness...
I'll chew up my insides
instead... lined with booze
pollute myself with smoke
then chew breath mints
certs... they make you kissable
or so the ad says
I'll cleanse my private
areas with lysol...
or maybe novacaine
to deaden the feelings there
I cry out in rage
but am voiceless...
sunglasses hide so much
of what's going on inside

03171977

Unclean

I cleanse myself
but don't feel clean anymore
I guess it was you
who made me see my dirt
I scrub and scrub
peeling off the skin of me
until my fingertips
are raw with rage
I'm contaminated
with my own unworthiness
unable to be touched
I'm no longer weightless
with happiness
like I used to be..
the heaviness from my heart
has infused itself
in my body also
I walk with leadened feet
mute in my solitude
silence of the leper
unclean... unclean

03181977

Why wait, do it now

We always have choices. We can be at turmoil or we can be at peace. We can either listen to our doubts and fears or hand them over to God in trust and faith. We are not separate from God for He is always within us, but sometimes we let our fears drown that knowledge out.

But, when we can quiet ourselves and the ego that feeds the fear we can hear that small voice within that is the Holy Spirit and we can again be in a state of peace. We need handle nothing alone but only need turn to God who will take up our burdens as His own.

He will lighten our loads and our hearts and reveal His great love to us. God is always there, it is we who are too blind to see, too deaf to hear, too lost in our own fears to acknowledge Him. Nothing is too small or too large for Him to handle. He will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Share this knowledge and this faith with our brothers and sisters. What is shared becomes even stronger. God tells us that we can abide in Him. He will bring us joy, peace, abundance and right thinking. All is well in God's world and can be in ours if first we seek Him.

We do not need to wait until we are overwhelmed or troubled. We can seek Him just before all things, before each decision, before we begin our day, before we speak. We can make God a conscious part of every waking and sleeping moment of our day and God will help us rejoice.

He will smooth the way for us, calm the storms, bring us the right worlds and the necessary teachers into our lives. Every day then will be a joy. Why then do we so often wait to turn to him as if He is only a last resort?

Choose Him now as your constant companion, your mentor, your guide, your counselor, as your father and your friend. You can share your deepest thoughts with Him, your wildest dreams, the secrets of your heart and He will listen. Nothing we think or do is too trivial for God and no one knows or loves as much as God does, so do it now.

07112000

No hand to hold

The candlelight
brightens the dark cavern
I seek your hand
to grasp and steady myself
against falling
feeling a false step
somewhere
will drop me bottomless
into the unknown
I imagine myself alone
here... sucked into
the deep abscess
shuttering in my nightdress
spasms of helplessness
send waves through me
walking the edges
of the recklessness...
the animal smell
of the air
frightens me...
your hand is nowhere
gone... like your footprints
I was following in my dreams

03181977

Shattered Porcelain

I am utterly broken
my mind unraveled
there is no truth here
I'll never see myself
again, nor you, nor them
this is forgetting
you must understand
my remains are empty
of all that was, us too
no longer able to hold on
the pieces fall, tumble
I'm trying, smiling, forgetting
all the while...
me, I'm shattered porcelain

13030914

Mistaken Perceptions

We cannot see the full picture of our life but know that God can. To us it evolves and is revealed a little at a time and gradually we get a greater understanding of our purpose. We learn that life is not restricted but only seems so according to our own perceptions.

It is we who put limits on our possibilities. We feel unworthy of living life in an unlimited way, so instead of reaching for the stars we choose to settle for less. We listen to an ego that tells us we are not capable of all we desire.

We also listen to others who speak words of discouragement and take them to heart instead of turning to our Heavenly Father who would give us all we desire and more. Nothing is limited with God and we will not be happy unless we are living our truth.

Nothing created by God in His own image lacks anything but complete fulfillment unless it is of our own choosing. We forget that God created us to live in joy and fulfillment. We struggle because we live in denial of our own inner light and truth.

We are afraid of sharing and giving believing that we will deplete our resources when, in truth, all things from God are unlimited and what we give and share only returns to us ten-fold. God is infinite as are we. Only this life is finite but for us there is life beyond life.

The ego wants us to live in fear and to feel restricted so that it may gain control but when we seek and acknowledge the real truth of our relationship to God we must also acknowledge the falsehood of the ego who wants to keeps us shackled and in constant discord in order to be in control.

To follow the will of God is to give all things over to Him and to know a life of abundance, joy, and love. To be at peace within ourselves and with the world. To know others in brotherhood instead of rivals. To be in continuous communication with the Spirit and to live in total accord with God.

07132000

Memory Consumed

I see the dead
and forget the living
as I shuffle about
from room to room
whispering and mumbling
ghosts in my head
scream and shout
my memory consumed

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