Pushing emptiness

I lie awake often and think
about you... the loss of you
will I live this loss forever?
Every night, every day of my
life?... Is there no way to
find peace except to fill up
all the minutes crowding
my mind with thoughts... to
push the emptiness of it back
... to keep from facing it
It engulfs me or lays waiting
on the outskirts of my...
consciousness as the mood
of me dictates... close then
far away, close then far away...

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