The lid of caution

We were.... illicit lovers
avoiding being seen together
foregoing the everyday pleasures
of going out.... no matter whether
people looked or not.
The lid of caution was clamped down
on all the expressions of freedom one got
what a sacrifice to never speak aloud
or write of the deeply honest love
of which I felt so proud.
I was too naive... unaware
this is not to say I was unhappy
it's just that I thought you could care
...for me and want me there.
I wanted time to think down into me
and express myself in my poetry
to tell of the warmth and vitality
your love gift gave to me.
My inner senses never set me free
how infuriating that at this time
I was so careful and inclined
and not until you set me free
did grief's hand release from me
the depth of feeling... this heaven
or hell... in which my heart did dwell
but what good does my cry
for nothing I write... can buy
your love back.... return the times
not all the poetry or rhymes
can bring you back and make us one
again. This you - this I - seem done
gone forever. But how to mend a heart
how to explain to this pain I feel
that you thought it best to part.

12021978