If I could trade

If I could trade,
it would be frowns for smiles,
laughter for tears,
the company of loved ones,
rather than toiling away years....

Sharing the adventure,
mile after mile,
If I could trade,
I'd always be right at home...

12400712

In the dark

Someone pulled the plug,
set the nation back,
to struggle in the dark,
trains idle on the tracks,
so vain, so smug,
humanity a lark...

08440712

Days of games

London is ablaze,
warriors in battle,
days of games,
records to rattle,
a competion craze,
these Olympic flames....

08330712

Sentimental Rose

I am a sentimental Rose
cut from the garden
where I bloomed profusely
left only my thorns
for company...
the gardener who once
so passionately pruned me
tending me with love
leaving me to wilt
left in a vase untended

09191977

The Olympians

They hold council,
and dazzle us all...
crushing the Titans,
how epic the fall,
Olympus their mountain,
the Pantheon their hall,
Deities of myth,
twelve in all....

12031207

It's my time now

It's my time now,
I'll do as I please,
rise with the sun,
or sleep till noon...
I toiled for years
to call my time
my own....

09350712

Lavender

There's a field in France I dream of often,
covered in Lavender as far as the eye can see,
the fragrance floating on a gentle breeze...
and though I've never been, it's like coming home...

09091207

I float

The sea maiden waiting
within me... is like death itself
I float through the sea
into nothtingness...
he and the ocean
are my dream
of what life could be like
The mist of the sea air
blurs my eyes....
it cannot be tears
for what will never be
I by myself
will wrap up in emptiness
never to be fulfilled
no one
to find me real... for them

03701200

My map

My map was supposed to take me from here to there,
destination paradise...
Yet, I got lost along the way,
sidetracked down bumpy roads,
reaching deadends,
uncharted trails, too narrow to travel...
no lights to lead the way....
dark places where no stars could reach,
tunnels to crawl through, no time to explore...
such has been my journey,
finding my own way,
making my own map...
it's not the destination that counts,
it's what we learn and discover along the way...

15512907

Camouflage

Camouflage,
the smiles that hide our fears
Camouflage,
the broken heart, and lonely years
Camouflage,
the disappointments and tears

Wear it well, the veil, the shell

01051207

I choose

I choose to believe
in the truth of love
in balance and order
in the heavens above

12482907

I left

You'd died long before I walked out the door,
my words a silent reproach, muted feelings,
dying flames...

We'd crossed paths, heading in different directions,
love, loss, hurt....
that's all I left....

12252907

Oneness

Oneness,
a balancing act,
doing or not,
being all the same...
empty yourself,
nuture your soul....
heavenly glory,
a spark in the heart,
our journey, our role

12122907

My imagination

My imagination
is a garden,
it needs nuturing
and care,
I prune
and weed,
water and feed,
and await
the spring blossoms
that will grow
from there...

12022907

In my dreams

You have given me so much,
really you have...
and even if I can't see you
I feel close to you...
A quiet warmth remembering
in my solitude
you live on in my dreams...

11250000

Be whole

Be whole,
in love,
perfect,
eternal...
Love,
life, our
gift....

01321207

My shortcomings

My shortcomings aren't something to overcome,
but rather something to refine, to nuture and age,
as they are what make me, me...

12500712

Caught in illusions

We've been caught in a world of illusions,
netted we struggle for freedom, waiting...
a gridlocked road is no path to follow,
stuck as our identity retreats into shadows....
a shallow pool of fear and regrets,
truth hides beneath the reflections...
We forgetting to mourn our loss

12230712

Discovering truth

Discovering truth requires living through lies,
seeing beyond the limitations of our eyes,
nourishing our hearts, and feeding our souls,
the glory of the universe a hymn to extol

10120812

Ways and Means

We have the ways and means to make sense of the world around us,
we must stop and listen, meditate on our part in the greater scheme,
there's an eternity, a growing cosmos, and we hall have our part to play

12031207

The Poem

The Poem
an ode to you
has not been written yet
it has to wait
until I can get it all
out of my system
until then
I've written of your skin,
touch,
my love for you
I'm waiting for the cure
to say the rest
like kicking a habit
it takes time
You were always
concerned with material things
objects without life
as if that had anything to do with love...
Like so many things
you only wanted to be told
how great you were
not how real you were
to me...
you're real no more

03151977

Like a breath

Like a breath of air
from within myself
I float as a cloud
on the breath of others
inhaled by a few.

12840019

Play on

My mind
is like a scratched record
always stuck
on the same thought
click...you,
click...you,
click...you,
Someone has forgotten
to take the needle off
and reset
the machinery
so it can play on...

03201977

Pride

Pride is my armour
giving me the strength needed
in my stubborn battle
with myself
won in the hairbreadths
of the moment

77101119

To be gone

In my dreams
I am always
driving
or walking
away from you
Should be
an interesting
phenomenon
to evaluate
Is it because
you're gone
or because
I want to be gone
from still feeling
for you...

03201977

Alphabet Soup

I satiate myself
on alphabet soup
made up of all
my leftover lovers
and tidbits of my life
It's scalding going down
skimming someone off
here and there
picking them out of my teeth
soup of lost promises
last year's dreams
I eat it all
to satisfy my longings
and still suffer of malnutrition

03307719

Memories

Memories are
gentle things
soft and simple
quiet things
wandering
wistful things
lost are these
moments
in the sea of time
or a blink of an eye

78001200

Love, unreal

I am an enigma
simplified as a riddle
unexplained
emblematic in my figure
and as extinct
in what I am...
freshly laid
deseeded
empty...
earth mother to nothing
fed an aphrodisiac
and flower petals
the flesh of my tongue
remembering
bittersweet yesterdays
probing loveless leftovers
of what you didn't give
contracting
upon itself
in loves darkness
not to be remembered
for enigmas
are cloudless
vapors
of nothingness
unreal
as love was

77032919

Gently the rain falls

Gently
the rain falls
like snowflakes
consumed by their fears
like icicles turned cold
by the years
like a river
when it falls over
a cliff
down
down
down
to the earth below
gently
the... rain
falls....

85001200

Doubts

Doubts are like clouds that obscure the sky,
they prevent us from seeing the heavenly glory,
cause us to suffer and bring tears to our eyes,
it takes faith to get us by when we're weary,
like a song of love with a joyful reprise,
when the clouds of doubt pass you'll see clearly

11221220

For the senses

The delicate balance of color,
and the sweetness of air,
succulent fruit growing everywhere,
the sound of the birds,
and the breeze in my hair,
mountains full of life,
fill your senses if you dare

42101220

I call me free

You speak of time,
I dream of eternity,
You call me mine,
I call me free...

26101220

Incarnations

We live many lives,
all at once...
chaos and confusion,
running and out of breath...
Warmth and light,
a parade of illusion,
Another incarnation to follow our death...

10121220

Path of souls

Born before our first breath,
leading us down roads of discovery...
Our souls try to nourish us,
and get us to grow...
to do this, we need to overcome circumstance...
Accepting the journey is hard,
the first step down the path of souls...

10021220

Oceans and memories

There are only
memories
now
to shuffle through
with eyes closed
in my leisure
and moments of pretend
when in silence
I try to write
the way I wanted it to end
which wasn't really at all
and then I hear the past
come walking down the hall
with even metered steps
that fall, and I wonder
what the ocean is doing today...

90001200

Part of each other

We are part of each other,
you and I,
all things from a fractured one
broken now,
unable to get along...
once tightly connected,
once in harmony,
left to our own devices,
chaos the foundation of humanity

07120021

We are spirits

We are spirits,
bodies and souls,
on quests for divinity,
heaven our goal...

12210007

Daisies

I was like a
happy daisy
until you came along
and plucked
my petals
to see if another
loved you

03141977

The journey

One comes to appreciate the vast evolutionary context in which our lives are being lived.  We see ourselves in a larger tapestry, as part of the creative pulse that is God, a creativity that takes us into the darkness of the illusion of sperarateness, and then out of it, and back into unity.  And at each moment we are at just the right place in the journey.

Excerpt from:

Emmanuel's Book: A Manual for Living Comfortably in the Cosmos by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton

Let me float

I want to say...."Stop World and let me off"...
I want to drop off into oblivion... to float
out in the cosmos... without gravity...
weightless... in a heavy world... to travel
with the stars instead of sucked along
the freeways of earthy travel... to breathe
in the air of the heavens...
inseated of the bile puked up
by the mouths of human factories.
I want to excape all knowledge
of who and what I am... and
just be... left me float out
away somewhere... and just be
...free...

26901900

Ageless Soul

My soul is sealed
in a seclusion
away from sight
beyond the limits
no eye can reach
safely tucked secretly
somewhere beside the beach
in this world so cold
only I, not my soul
shall grow old...

06191077

waiting with thoughts

Days and nights
filled with solidarity
left alone
to sing the blues
waiting for my friend
to offer his hand
in friendship
again....

99001200

In-between

I used to hang somewhere
balanced between the lightness of love
and the experience of truth

77190710

Thinking Time

I'm fighting
and alive
reality, shattered
not by a sonic boom
but by quiet realization
lonliness affords one
thinking time

07771019

Blossoms

A flower blossoms
with water
and sunshine,
a woman,
with warmth
and love..

17170012

Words unspoken

I am numb with words unspoken
chocking me, my tongue forzen
angry with myself for caring...
Braless, freedom seeking woman
unable to climb out of myself
with the same freedom....
Burning with loving you,
there's nothing left to be spoken
words scrawled on paper
who's to care what they say?
That lady you once knew
is gone... somewhere
washed out with the tide
mingled amidst the seawaters
her tears filling the ocean
she waits with patience
for time to run backward
and yesterday to come... again...

19037726

Sighs

Sighs
are like
the leaves
of autumn trees
falling
gently
on the ground
somewhere
but falling just the same
like rain
perhaps
in seach of rivers

60000012

Decadence of life

I'm as still as breath
no movement of chest
empty vacuum without soul
gaping, empty.... body whole
caught up in the temptest storm
blowing round me lifeless form
time water running through my fingers
trickling down my breasts it lingers
the decadence of life so near
ever costly.... ever dear

07181977

Used Loves

I gather
used loves
around me
like a child in January
collecting discarded
Christmas trees
most of the tinsel is gone
a few threads remain
the lights
the gaily colored bulbs
but the trees
like love
dry up
and crack
in time
and have to be burned
or dragged away
the last smell
of pine, like love
filters away on the wind
and
I'll have to wait
till Christmas trees
are in season again

62007000

Loving Google+

So, I thought I'd be clever and make my own Google Plus banner, well after a lot of work, it didn't work.  Phooey... I'm still loving Google+ and this new fangled technology.

Though, I think I could use a few more lessons from my son.

Without walls

Where is my hilltop haven
where the skyline reaches down
to mingle with the waters?

The cloud pillows floating
in the blue vastness

No walls to lock me in
glass lined sanctuary

Seagulls for company
with no handouts but bread
crumbs of leftover feelings

There I could wrap myself
within my thoughts
and send them soaring out
with the tide....

Dispersed everywhere
with nothing left but peace

03192777

waiting

I've walked a distance
through time
years tacking themselves
together
Sometimes I'm disappointed
in its plainness
so many days just alike
Soon enough
I will not be just small
but small and wrinkled
and all that time
will have passed
and what?
I continue the droll
nonexistence
waiting.... for what?

03171977

Fine Tuned Troubles

I was not an unhappy soul
but I had learned to tune
my inner self off
stopped seeking the unreachable
and that had a kind of peace
about it.
But you came along
and made me care
love no longer an illusion
of unhoped for yearnings
and I gave you all of me
counteracting
you punished me
as soon as I came to life
leaving me desperate
with it....

19101177

I shut my eyes

I've shut my eyes
to the past
clinging to no one
I'm scared to death
of a future... alone
but grateful
to be able to try
it's a good, hard hurt
a direct gut feeling
that you can recover
from.... alone

10071977

No getting back

I find that trying to get back
into my old self
is like trying to climb
into skin that doesn't fit
it's like yesterday's castoffs

25607012

Maze of Darkness

Nudges of the spirit are signs in braille for the visually impaired soul.  Without them, we stumble eternally in a maze of darkness.

00070002

Just emptiness

It is not just emptiness
I feel
it is the ocean
without water
the sky
without stars
I walk
the corridors
of myself
the rooms of me
hollow
echoing...nothingness
of your goneness

03141977

In limbo

I am as in limbo
Lost in a waiting world.
The waiting is the hardest
As my hopes unfurled
And began to grow limp
From the pain
Or is it my tears that fall
Like yesterday's rain

00000098

Failed Crops

Dead pale
cold of heart
no wheatfield
shafts of grain
within me anymore
sifted of surface
no more healing
no faking normality
the crop has failed
by too much rain
the tears I shed
have spoiled
the potential flour

10071977

A dream trip

Let me give you a dream trip to the shore
lets build castles in the sand,
let the salty breezes be your fan
and lull you to sleep by the oceans roar
Let me take you to the land of nevermore
The dream is waiting, reach out your hand
come to my beach, my wonderland
and be happier than you were before
Drink in the wonder with your eyes
let its moisture freshen your tongue
watch the morning sun rise
or see the evening moon well hung
up in the bright star filled skies
and pretend that we are very young

12021979

Illimitable Skies

The illimitable sky
reaching beyond limits
wearing diamonds
to sparkle in its hair
blows and falls upon me
in quiet darkness
the moon to shower light
laying here
I experience the greatest joy
and happiness fills me
bringing peace
a visitor... in the darkness

10071979

I would

I can look back in time
And say... I did appreciate you.
I looked at you and could
see the goodness that was there.
I take some comfort in it now
And if possible... that you
could love me still... I would
open up my heart... and still care.

01000119

Crashing Seas

It seems so wild to hear
the night's crashing sea
and find peace and solarity
a sea nymph luxury

To feel the rustle of the salty sea
and taste its dampened breath
to watch the stars overhead
nature's nocturnal compass

Let me find my water skirt
and seashells for my hair
dressed in water wonderland
your clothes I'll proudly wear

02261979

to wake alone

I held love within my hand
and secure, went to sleep
so sure I would hold you tomorrow
until then it would keep

I awake alone and lost
to find my love gone
with only my dream of yesterday
and a spot near me still warm

02251979

Love fades away

Love is lost, gone astray
left somewhere beside the bay
one long ago summer day
it was never meant to stay
now I'm alone, now I'm cold
no more lovers arms to hold
the tears now dry on my cheek
no more to search, no more to seek
years go by, summer's fade
many sunsets have been displayed
love was taken, not repaid

01281979

Work

It is easy to work, and collect your pay
when you enjoy what you're doing
it's not wok then, it's more like play
but when it is difficult, mean and hard
and it's a job that you hate
leaving you bone weary and tired
and your nerves are on edge every day
and you get up and to to work that way
then a fortune's not enough compensating pay
too many of us spend our lives this way

02251979

In Tears

For each moment in your arms
I have a price to pay
a year of tears is the cost
for each moment that we lay

and for each hour so long ago
through the years I've paid
the price of one broken heart
and much more in tears

01151979

Greedy Tide

I was such a little ship
you were the Captain of the bay
love was the warm endless sea
that stole the boat away

Love was such a gready tide
now my ship is lost
down below the icy waters
what a price - love costs!

01121979

Still Standing

I've known life, like a haven
secure and safe and warm
sheltered from grief and sorrow
a harbor safe from harm
I've known peace, without a sound
of tears of pain, of hell
and the long miles of hard times
those too I've known, and well

I've never known how to retreat
not on the saddest day
I just hang on until tomorrow
chases those clouds away
I cannot count my riches
by the gold upon my wall
but I count each step a fortune
that I climbed and didn't fall

02211979

Sands

My feet tred the waterline
my fingers sift the sand
the waves play up softly
and come to fill my hand

I feel like such a child
running across the shore
feeling freeier on the beach
than I ever have before

01111979

These Tears

These tears are all I have today -
that fill the ocean tide -
these, my heart, so empty now -
stretching the whole world wide -
and more sunsets than I could count -
and all the stars that fell -
these tears, my heart, and all today,
within the oceans dwell -

11111978

I happily awaken

I drink of your lips of wine
heavy bodied next to mine
a heavenly bouquet

Light headed with bliss
intoxicated from your kiss
I lightly turn away

Your fragrant liquid you gave to me
filling me with such ecstacy
I am left shaken

Left laguid, limp and warm
though asleep, I feel your storm
and happily awaken

01281979

Before you

Miss you I shall
but I suspect
not with sleepless nights
tossing and turning
in my bed with doubts
as I did him, before you

06061978

Our impossibility

I was the sea, you the sun
your radiance my heart won
but such love can never be!

I on the earth, you in the sky
you could not swim, I not fly
it was an impossibility!

01121979

A room with a view

Come fill my morning, fill my cup
let me drink the sunrise up
and share this day with you
Let us watch each wave leaping
until sunset finds us sleeping
awaiting tomorrow's pictorial view

01271979

Precious Moments

Some things must be free
you - me - eternity
and the water's endless sea

though some things stay
not tomorrow - or today
other treasures go away

and the clouds in the endless skies
through love's deceptive eyes
a precious moment that never dies

12211978

Fool's ballet

Old men
trying to act
like young studs
chasing young
women
in braless tops
trying to attract
younger guys
dance with
the old fools
maybe some
good looking dude
will notice
how attractive I am
how well I dance
how my endowments
bounce to the music
and the old men chase
and young women chase
and the super stud
just try to look good
waiting to see
what falls his way
when the night
is over...

06151978

Empty Fields

I had a life I called mine
my love had his own
he made a claim on my share
I made him a small loan

He gathered all the flowers
I had grown with care
and gave me back an empty field
where once my life - now bare

01121979

Sea Escape

Sometimes I wish I could escape
drown in the ocean's flood
feel each rising exultation
with seawater for my blood

No mountains to imprision me
or grassy knoll my grave
just drifting on the endless sea
.... the sea nymph soul to save

12201978