Friday, November 30, 2012


Ted was relieved when he found out the meaning of life was forty-two.  He could memorize that, even though he wasn't good with numbers.


Your Hands

A mans hand
is supposed to be powerful
yours was tender
and expertise
shadowed with talent gained
bones and tendons
working to precision
weighing each second
with sweat on your forehead
but dry hands
hands of healing
giving birth
seeking beyond skin level
how I loved
your hands


Thursday, November 29, 2012


"Why are we here?," Sally asked Ted from the kitchen.
"To watch the game," he answered, turning up the volume with the remote.



Numbers mark the years,
and they tally the tears...
Counting the lonely days,
since we parted ways...


In God's Arms

I see myself in God's arms,
oh such a beautiful day,
greeted at the gates of heaven,
my father, my mother,
all those I love...
reunited again...
such a glorious dream...


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Pushed towards a cliff

The people your toys,
as you push them towards a cliff,
no leadership, just ploys,
our economic future adrift...


The harmony of truth

A simple miracle,
the harmony of truth


I can't keep up

I can't keep up
with all this change
a world disrupted
constantly rearranged
taken down, reconstructed
It's no wonder I feel so estranged


Don't buy failure

I am reluctant I admit
but I must move froward bit by bit
shun the sadness, not be discouraged
don't buy failure, forget, go on
the fire's tempered, the heart is warm
nothing worthwhile is easily won
I'll never give in, admit defeat
somehow I'll find my happiness street!


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Apocalyptic Bash

Heading down the long decline,
don't pick up too much speed,
or all will end with a crash...
what we take for granted, so sublime,
no wants, no needs,
this apocalyptic bash...


To find my peace

This is not the way I want it to be
I want my life to be full and free
to walk beside the endless sea
to find my peace, my tranquility
to resurrect every possibility
and to find out who is me!


Monday, November 26, 2012

Reading Poetry

Do people still read poetry?  It's something I love, like lyrics to love songs, or musings over broken hearts.  There's something timeless about it, making it special to me.


Blessed and Fulfilled

It's in these quiet moments,
when night falls and all is still,
the glowing moon an ornament,
that I feel blessed and fulfilled.


Faded Yesterday's

My faded yesterday's,
Those vivid colors gone away..,


No mandate

You have no mandate,
we've just given up...
such is our failed state...


Peace knows no age

A thousand tears and counting,
tension and fears mounting...
Peace knows no age,
and war only rage...


Electronic Freedom

Technology is taking me down roads I've never traveled.  I can now freely share my hopes and dreams.  My words can find life off the page.  Gone are the boundaries that have held me back for so long.  This electronic freedom is something to rejoice...


The trade off

For each thing lost,
something is gained,
in this world of trade offs...


Crow for breakfast

Crow for breakfast,
the dream I'd given up on,
hadn't given up on me...


So much the same

Each day, part good, part bad
I am suffocating the wounds
trying to find the dreams I had
my mind is racing, my soul in pain
is there all there is to life?
so little different, so much the same...


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Wait for your dreams

Dreams do come true,
don't think that they don't...
Patience is a virtue,
you need it, or they won't...


There's no other way

it's how we become,
what we need to be...
there's no other way


I've seen miracles

I've seen miracles,
on my darkest days,
when hope seemed futile,
Angels led the way....


Take time for you

We must take time for self.  It is as important as any other work we have in life.  In fact it is more important.  For without taking the time to be the best we can be, to clean out the debris that is keeping us from healing, we are incomplete and therefore unable to be or see, or serve our true purpose.  We're left stumbling around in the dark.

We need to examine our true desires and motives.  We need to know that we own them and they are not leftovers of someone elses' disappointments and unfulfilled dreams.

We need to honor ourselves and give as much thought and consideration as we do to our job, our friends, family and total strangers.  How can we possibly live the life we think we want to live without knowing our authentic self?

We need to release the one we lock up inside while we put on our daily facade we display to other.  The one we think will be pleasing, acceptable, that conforms to what we were taught form childhood.

Who are we really?  Are we living daily the life we would choose or are we going through the motions working at a career we were taught would give us security even if it does not bring us happiness?

Do we try to do too much for others, to be pleasing instead of allowing them to do for themselves?

Take time to examine the real you.  What is it that will allow you to be that authentic self and realize your true happiness?

What is preventing you from being or doing it?  What are you waiting for?

This is your life.  The only one you have at this time.  How do you want to use it?  What do you want to accomplish?  What would you choose if you could?  What things would you let go of, change, rearrange and do differently?

Take time for you!


Saturday, November 24, 2012


My son is helping with an epub project,
which is just sort of for learning right now.

A lot of the lingo is new to me.

Don't get me wrong, it's exciting,
but oh so confusing too.


Guess I'm Jurassic

Organic traffic,
bounce rates,
makes my head ache,
guess I'm Jurassic


Our thanks we offer

Our thanks we offer,
of acceptance we proffer...


It's a lifelong task

And how many more scars
to create part by part
enough hurts to make who
your pain shattered hears
don't ask
don't ask
it's a lifelong task...


Friday, November 23, 2012


it shows with age..
I'm disengaged...
my mental rampage...
a daily disadvantage...
a struggle with language...
from memory damage...


Occupied by gadgets

The world is passing me by,
in ways I could never imagine...
These gadgets that keep us occupied,
to me are such a challenge...
all toys that will never replace a mother's lullaby...


Beyond my simple blog

My kids all read ebooks now,
and I have to admit the blogging is fun,
so the next step for me just might be dusting off more old journals...
and moving them from old paper to bits and bytes,
and realms of e-ink, beyond my simple blog.

This world of technology, oh so new to me.


Memory's Affixation

In my youth I lived in castles of imagination,
exploring its chambers, roaming its halls,
a life of girlish dreams and fascinations...
where knights of honor would brawl...
all to fade with memory's affixation...


No traffic

No traffic
No cares


Faint Moments

In the faint moments
when one hears
whispering angel voices
murmur in our ears


Prayers to pray

How many griefs to overcome
before you find your way
How many sorrows to fill your heart
How many prayers to pray


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Feeding Dreams

I've fed my dreams over the years,
watering them through and through,
often with my loneliness and tears,
waiting for them to finally come true...


Sunset of your years

You who never wearily toiled
with only riches to pave your road
will find in the sunset of your years
a heartless, heavy load


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

A famine through the years

You're unprepared, who never lost
a treasure kept.. just tears
who never hungered only to find
a famine through the years


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Me alone

Some moments I keep to myself,
they belong to me alone...
my personal treasures,
and torments too


The Razor's Edge of Love

The razor's edge of love cut us in two,
it's when I'm bleeding that I think of you.


So does the heart

Is it possible for you, my love
to be faithful to one woman...
when you are attracted to so
many...for if the mind strays
then so does the heart...


Monday, November 19, 2012

Tweny years to go

Ben died after ten years on the job.  He planned on living again after he retired.  Twenty years to go....


Removing Mirrors

Leo removed all the mirrors from his house.  He didn't like who he had become.


His Car

It was nearly 3:00 am when the police brought Pops home.  He'd been out looking for his car.  We'd given it away two years ago.


Oreo Cookies

Relationships are like Oreo Cookies, you know what to exptect in the middle.


It never got published

We needed the money.
I wrote a book.
It never got published.


Real and True

Marriage without love
can be hell
to share life with one
you love
is to dwell...
in the heavens of your
love thus shared will
not depart...
thus my thoughts run
in fear of myself
this doubt so wrong
did I make this hell
with a simple I do?
not waiting for love
real and true....


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Before government handouts

It was kindness, love and friendship,
from strangers and neighbors that helped us...
it made us strong and appreciative...
such were our communties,
before government handouts destoryed this...


Every tomorrow

By the hand he led me,
across the green meadow,
slowly towards the sea,
to fill with love, every tomorrow...


Faith in the 21st century

I googled God,
he replied with a tweet,
faith in the 21st century...


As seashells washed ashore

I roamed the beach alone,
catching glimpses of our time together,
in the waves, as seashells washed ashore...


The fate of gender

In my era, girls married young, thus sealing their destiny.  Boys went to college and had careers. Neither had much say in the matter, their paths were chosen by the fate of gender.


Channels of creativity

Channels of creativity, and expression... That's what I've been learning how to swim across.  Connections beyond my dreams and expectations, that's what technology has brought to me.  Words and thoughts that have been collecting dust for decades have now been brushed off and have found new life.  The joy of being able to share my thoughts and musings is beyond my ability to express.


The roses

My father was a truck driver until he hurt his back and had to learn to walk again.  That's when the roses came into our lives.


Decaying connections

These images fading with time,
these pictures in my mind,
they're like old photographs,
decaying connections to my past...


Unsaid, still

What is in my heart I cannot say
there are no words to tell
These images I know well
Somehow saying these
leaves it unsaid...STILL


You are gone

I am as though in a fog lately
I try not to remember
the times with you.
I have not written anything
for the past fews days.
Remembering is too painful
and I feel so hopeless are gone.
There is no way to go back.
No retracing yesterdays. are gone.
It is futile to hold on to
these few memories
hoping to hold on to you.
And if I could,
what comfort would it be?
When I suffer your complete
...loss so.
The clouds of endless tomorrows
sweep upon me,
and I wish not to fight
...the inevitable.
My heart is in the tomb
of my dreams. are gone.


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Forsaken peace

The guns go rat tat tat,
bombs boom boom boom,
cities are just a deathtrap,
the future filled with doom,
peace forsaken by bureaucrats,
dreams up in smoke and fumes....



We don't all want the same thing,
if we did, there'd be no war...
selfishness our great shortcoming


The gift of friendship

Blessed is he who not only enjoys the gift of friendship, but the joy of being a friend. Of giving not only of his possessions and time, but of his heart and spirit.  It has the power to dry tears, send sorrow away, and to fill one with laughter and smiles.  The comfort and joy of friendship makes life worthwhile to me.


The Nanny Motherland

It's an era of ruin,
and that of party planning,
their dependence doctrine,
the nanny motherland...


Just a long decline

There is no finish line,
just a long decline,
lost memories, once mine


Clothed in tears

I forgive you your smallness
for giving me money,
instead of love....
Sorrow where once....
lived joy.
Tears to clothe my nights
And a small amount
...of happiness,
and nothing else.


Friday, November 16, 2012

I like the web

Tech is making some dreams come true for me!


Just a fading memory

These years of decline,
when thoughts slip the mind...
What's left of your life story,
is just a fading memory...


The dogs of war

The red glare of rockets,
pounding through the night,
distant fires viewed from the cockpit,
war planes called into fight,
the dogs of war heed the trumpets,
as people scramble in fright...


Join your tears

Nobody makes me cry...anymore
I'm immune...dead inside
like the beathing of the tide
...against the shore...
The pain grates against my heart more will it enter
Just wash over me...
and drown me in the empty sea
The tears are gone...and
what is left here...pride?
Love...anything at all?
Just an empty oceanside
waiting for its
beckons the sea
come and join your tears with me.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Blood will fill the streets

Blood will fill the streets,
along with corpses...
upon which worms will eat.
Dreams just decaying innards...
Hopes for peace obsolete...


Once strong and proud

We're in a hell of our own making...
there's nothing exceptional now,
just people who know only taking...
a nation once strong and proud,
falling apart and breaking...


A new day of war

A new day of war has begun,
in a blaze of rockets and guns,
a 21st century swan song...


Hurt digs deep

Hurt digs deep,
it scars the heart,
it invades my sleep,
it's cold and dark...


Letting love come to us

Love comes when we learn to seek and recognize the truth. 
Love comes when we remove the mask of fear and pain.
Love comes when we let excuses, denial and blame give way.


Fear the war mask

The rockets blast
setting streets on fire.
Fear the war mask!


Friday Night Blues

In the dim light
of that dingy bar
he bared my soul
as he strummed his guitar
and there I sat for all to see
so alone since you set me free
crying to myself...pitifully
remembering the warmth of you
your touch...your kiss
but what good does it do
to remember...this
when I long for the nearness of you
I sit alone...not dreams
but fears come true
I'm so blue...


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

On the skids again

The economy is on the skids again,
hardly a week after the election,
so much for promises that helped you win


The Autumn Leaves

The Autumn leaves have fallen,
and all blown away,
my oranges and yellows,
like my days of yesterday...
now barren meadows.


I dwell on the past

I dwell on the past,
to spite myself,
making the pain linger and last...


Boring sex scandals

He said, she said,
behind closed doors,
in strange beds,
we've heard all this before


He who's not loved

Nothing would be more beautiful
than to spend my life with you
there has been such a contrast
between those few times we
were together and all these
long nights of
that I'm alone..oh, the bitterness
of behing without you....with
all happiness...sorrow must
accompany...they go hand in hand
you live in my houses
you still...who can know...
he who has never loved....


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Trip of nostalgia

You've loved me in pity
when I asked for understanding.
My love for you was limitless
in its response...I consoled
your sorrows...fed your
hunger...dried your tears...
listened to your troubles...
and now you fill my mind
still...for you are my first
and only love...and I try
to recapture and relive all
the wonderful times with you.'s a trip in nostalgia...


Monday, November 12, 2012

The world ablaze

A hippie daze
of foolish ways
A youthful maze
the world ablaze


Another fiscal fiasco

We hit the wall
four years ago
over a cliff we'll fall
another fiscal fiasco....


Black Friday

Black Friday,
our day of greed,
a gluttonous holiday,
to buy things we don't need...


Dangerous fools

Thre are no heroes,
only dangerous fools...


Our long goodbye

Our long goodbye,
started before you died,
when you didn't know who I was,
on that day I broke down and cried...


As the recession lingers

When dreams disappear,
and streets sit empty,
the future so unclear,
our uncertain destiny,
as the recession lingers


Love that goes unknown

I am unspeakably alone...
bowing to a power greater than mine
quiet and cool... unknown
to others that I am here
No more our lives to intertwine
the air is fresh and golden
up here where I am... but
oh so cold... I'm beholden
to still see you hard and firm
a picture in my mind...
but the leaves of my life
have scattered down... a germ
of what used to be... the ties that bind
are loosened on the ground
and you are no more around
... no one's left be me
My heart and blood rise up a cry
against love's unfairness to one
for want of left to die
no more to bask in the sun
that shone from you....alone
Life seems hopeless...this is
one way to atone...I guess
That all the love in my heart, goes unknown


Sunday, November 11, 2012

The new Odysseus

This isn't the nation we thought it was,
those days passed a long time ago,
this is the era of the new Odysseus,
we've lost our freedom history will show


Peace, expired

Troops are gathering,
and rockets being fired,
all these signs we're seeing,
peace, once again expired...


Scandals are nothing new

Scandals are nothing new
yet we act surprised
at the things politicians do
often right before our eyes


For the want

I refuse to hunger
or feel need
for anyone
especially you
but I do...
and then I'm angry
for the wanting...
my half-life
half lived
going down the sewage
leaking like
a menstrual flow
but more frequently
devoid, sexless
because no one else
can fill me...
crying bloody tears
for the want...
to be yours...


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Aging and failing

Sentences with no endings,
because I forgot what I was saying,
no lucidity, just pretending,
memory lapses, aging and failing...


We built a great pyramid

We built a great pyramid,
one of paper not stone,
all the greedy contributed,
government and banks condoned,
and economy grew distorted,
dreams now marked on tombstones,
our nation among dearly departed...


The lyrics of my heart

The vision of you,
the lyrics of my heart,
a love, once true,
pure, unmarked


what was it?

I can't remember what is was that I'm trying to forget....



We need to reinvent ourselves as a nation,
failure is not a reason for celebration...


Technology our emerald

We can circle the world
with the click of a mouse...
Technology our emerald,
the cosmos we browse...
Exploring a netherworld,
this universe within the house....


Blue mist of the night

The cold air grew suddenly still,
a blue mist moved slowly by,
growing and filling my darkened room...

Three nights of this mystic chill,
lulled awake by a haunting lullaby,
a chorus of the dead in rotting tombs...


My bucket of memories

My bucket of memories,
battered, old and rusty,
now dripping and leaky...


Edge of fiscal hell

A brighter future is a hard sell,
looking over the edge of fiscal hell,
this recovery not going so well...


Making paper

I write my feelings
refusing to read my own words
transported from brain to paper
through the ink that flows in me
my fingertip a pen
constantly moving across
blank sheets of skin
enormous rushes of energy
pulsating brain waves
devouring all I come in contact with
digested in the acid of my entrails
and spat out word after word
unfolding like the leaves
I eat for breakfast...
one day to awaken
and find myself a tree
thin, they shall make paper
out of me...


Friday, November 9, 2012

My mind a maze

The things I remember these days,
odd bits of names and faces,
blurred in a haze,
pieces of times and places,
my mind a maze...


The gravity of aging

Gravity has challenged my assets,
once a youthful lover's banquet...


Santa runs for office

Vote for me girls and boys,
and you'll all get new toys


Routine challenges

Routine is a challenge,
like just getting around,
things that come with age,
all new ups and downs...


Guilty of Giving

I am an extremist
I do not fear death
what I fear
is perpetual dying
and decay
year after year
the will is gone
my soul was stolen
my mind is in shock
circuits shut down
I'm rotting with fear
guilty of over giving
myself in love..


Thursday, November 8, 2012

We reached for the sky

We had Bob Dylan on the radio,
we were the post Daddy-O...
Rebellious and high,
we reached for the sky...
As crazy as it seems,
we never lived up to our dreams...


Far out

Far out, that's how it used to be,
back in the day of the hippie,
we thought we were happy,
reality was just too trippy...


Tweets unbound

Twitter might be too much for me,
I'm already swimming in a sea of technology...
My analog mind stumped by this cryptology
of tweets not bound by geography...


Before facebook

My book of faces
is my fading memory
of times and places
parting company
unfriends, traceless
all without technology



The desire for you...unfulfilled
is part of the pain of my love.
The cruelest thing to suffer is
this separation from you...I
must endure...I have not changed
except that I have forgotten how
to's as if my heart
and world were buried deep in snow.
All happiness has flown from me...
even the river of my tears has
ceased to flow...there is no meaning
to life, without you...I asked for
love...and received not but sorrow,
a well undrunk...this quenchless love...has been left


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I've blazed my own trail

I've burned every bridge I've crossed,
leaving scorched earth along the way,
though some would say I'm lost,
I've blazed my own trail, day by day


The simplicity of the wind

It's the simplicity of the wind that moves me,
the passing clouds, the changing seasons,
the glow of late afternoon light....

I've left behind the false promises,
and complexities of urban hell,
where the city glow blocks out the stars at night....


Narrow mountain roads

Though it was well blow freezing, Jared managed to push his stalled car off the road and into a strand of trees.  These rural mountain roads were narrow and dangerous, not a place to leave a vehicle as a car might come around the bend... if only that was the case.  It was 2:00 am, hours before sunrise.

Jared would have to try and get some sleep, if he didn't freeze first, and hope that someone would find him in the morning.

He was miles the nearest town, and no one knew where to look for him.


Stuck in a web

Stuck in a web that restrains us,
covers our eyes, and fills our ears,
gone are the days of honesty and trust...


It's time to fall

It's time to fall,
divided we go,
blindly along


For you're not there

I think of you a million times a day
every time I see something beautiful...
a could in the blue sky,
a bird soaring gracefully overhead,
a field of flowers in bloom,
or just a single flower
growing out of a crag in the mountainside...
a butterfly in glorious, translucent vibrancy
ease beat of the tide kissing the shore....
every time I experience I experience something
I want to share it with you my love,
and then I'm sad again,
for you're not there,
and I die a little again,
each time...


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It's election day

It's time for us to have our say,
call off the dogs, put the rhetoric away,
start the counting, it's election day...


Giving away my walls

How can I preserve
what is not truth...
be persistent
in a world of callousness....
be myself
within confinements?
Deceit is foreign to me,
and I don't think
I'm capable of violence
in behalf of myself.
The facets of my life
have sustained me
up to a point
made me stronger
giving away my walls
causes too much


Monday, November 5, 2012

You were a poor choice

You were a poor choice,
hindsight tells us that now,
when you're gone we'll rejoice,
you just didn't have the know how,
a shame upon us you did foist,
your policies we now disavow....


We're not buying it

We've seen your kind before,
all grins and empty smiles,
over time we come to deplore,
your chance wasn't worthwhile,
we're not buying it anymore...


A last ditch gauntlet

Armed with lies and lawyers,
a last ditch gauntlet,
a deceitful plotter,
hiding from promises unkept...


It's a battle

It's a battle for the nation's fate,
intensely fought from state to state


Political Triangulation

Voices of desperation,
pleading for power,
ignoring our exasperation,
from their ivory towers...
Political triangulation,
deceit, it flowers...


For the morrow, again

Man is a prisoner of his love
he cannot stop its flow
only feel with me... a time
my love... oh, let me show
my faith in you... condole
the heart... and wipe the tears
and return my smile... my love
and help me through the years
ahead... so alone and cold
I've resigned my heart
for the morrow... prepared it
for the sorrow... when you depart.

Weep, weep, cleanse your heart
let it strengthen and grow
freedom begins, like a fresh start
joy will push away your sorrow...


Sunday, November 4, 2012

You've failed

Some things we can't ignore,
your promises unkept,
fret not though, we've kept score,
through hard times we've wept,
you've failed of your own accord....


Exploiting tragedy

Exploiting tragedy,
a political strategy,
your latest travesty,
such is your audacity...


Pushing fear and lies

A media that pushes fear and lies,
another party arm that hides the truth,
that only seems to hear our cries,
when we stand at the voting booth...


Best unrequited

We love best not that which
is attainable...but that
which is beyond our reach.
The love then can be anything
we want it to be to suit our
needs... we are but the
victims of our imaginations...
looking for an ideal that
does not exist...and if we
endow them to
is best not to find them to
be human instead of the Gods
we hope they are... so love
unrequited then is always the our minds and hearts.


Saturday, November 3, 2012

Character counts

In case there are any doubts,
it's the content of character that counts,
not lies, failure, corruption and bailouts,
your great opportunity has been a washout...


Up in flames

We don't want more of the same
let's end this hope and change game
a same old same old campaign
that needs to go up in flames


Governance by happenstance

Give us one good reason
to give you another chance
we want strong leadership
not excuses and treason
nor governance by happenstance
let's end this relationship


Four years of pretending

You've done nothing
to deserve reelection
four years of pretending
while ignoring the nation
pretentious and condescending
time for your termination


A lying farce again

A campaign blitz
a lying farce again
false promises and flips
let's bring your term to an end


In the pulp

I am like yesterday's newspaper
already perused...
and discarded...
I wonder if people
can be recycled...
like wood products?
Will I be made into...
a blank sheet...
ready to rewrite life
and if I did...
would you be ingrained
in the pulp?


Friday, November 2, 2012

When fear is your master

When fear is your master,
things will end in disaster.


Political Bickering

An economy that never improved,
four years of prolonged suffering,
failed leadership should be removed,
we've had it with political bickering...


Hidden memories

I thought I'd always remember
all the things we said
I thought I'd always remember
all the things we did
When I try to remember
I find a void instead
So hard to remember
things dormant or hid


No one answers

I sacrificed myself
to the sun god RA
and he aborted me
resounding echos
fill the hollows
of the emptiness of me...
The god man I worshiped
is gone now
the longing is left
in place of him
and I write of loneliness
instead of warmth
no one answers...


Thursday, November 1, 2012

We've left those days behind

Once there was a time
when this nation
had a strong spine....
tough beyond estimation,
we didn't sit around and whine...
marching on without hesitation.
We've left those days behind,
along with dreams and aspirations...


Down bumpy roads

The twists and turns of life,
is a long bumpy road to travel,
made a little easier,
when running on faith...


I brought spring

I'm glad I brought spring
to you for a time
transformed your aching
and gave you joy sublime.
I was thankful to be there
when you had a need...
one glace from you was enough
to feed
this aching soul of mine
to win the affections of my heart
...from that moment, for all time.