Thursday, October 31, 2013

It's Halloween

It's Halloween, the spooks are out
The Gremlins screech, the Goblins shout.

In the darkness you may spy
a witch riding her broomstick through the sky.

The black cats run wild this night
and children scream in delightful fright.

Pumpkins will surely give you a scare
as all lit up out the windows they stare.

And myself, what will I be?
A dressed up skeleton - that's me!


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

God's Opportunities

God puts opportunities in our path. When we ask and are open to them we recognize them when they come. Faith and prayer are the catalyst. The divine is the creator of all things: blessings, gifts, talents, and yes opportunities too.

He can put us in the right place, at the right time, with the right people and miracles can occur. Mountains can move, and the right opportunity to pursue our dreams can appear.

Be conscious, be aware, be open, and be ready! A divine invitation has just been extended. A step on a new path has just been revealed. What are you going to do with it?

If we are in fear we will create many excuses why we cannot drop everything and go for the brass ring, a lack of money, it's the wrong time, we're not ready.  Friends and family as well as ourselves can discourage us.

But if we act in faith we will recognize the divine working in our lives, answering our prayers (even the unspoken ones), offering us the "something more" we have been searching for. The new path we have been seeking. The rainbow to follow to our dreams end.

The opportunity to be our authentic self, fulfilling our destiny, giving what only we can give from the heart, which is love. God planted it there.

We have seen it grow, expand, bud and now it is time for it to open in full bloom. To show the world God's gift that they too may recognize the divine in what only you can do.

You have knocked and He has answered and a new door has been opened to you. Let the light enter. Be in faith that God will provide all that you need to succeed. When we accept and believe, we will receive.

Continue to pray for guidance and also take the time to listen in the silence, for that inner voice which is the divine speaking, and remember He speaks only truth. Be in gratitude a new opportunity has arrived, and thank God.


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Not anymore

He's away from me I know,
not in space
but in time...
and yes, I'm lonesome,
but not for him,
only for the way he made me feel.

I wonder if skin has a memory
as well as the mind?
I can't remember what he looks like anymore,
only the way I felt
when he touched me.

There was a time
when I loved him so much
just the air
would hurt me.
It was frightening
to need someone
that violently.

But I'm finding that
it's even more frightening
not to feel that way
about anyone...


I wish you love

I feel very, so very far away
from you... today.
I know you feel it's better
not to make any effort at all
you don't answer even one letter
or the phone... when I call.
You give none of yourself
but you have taken so much
from me... Just sit there on a shelf
so dreadfully dull... It's such
a bore... that's no life for me
and I certainly don't want sympathy.
But I can remember all the times,
the fun times that we had
and I know all my poems and rhymes
won't change your face from the sad
look you wear... my love
can't chip the ice away you
keep in your heart without love
how can I melt you? What am I to do?
Beside pray to our God above
to make you find something so grand
somewhere... It doesn't have to be with me
I just want you to understand
all the beauty there is to see.
And you don't have to travel far and wide
It's right outside your door
you don't have to see the whole countryside
to find what you're looking for.


Monday, October 28, 2013

Childish Confidence

What childish confidence,
believing you would always be there...


I'm a believer

I'm a believer
I believe in kids
who ride their bikes
without holding on.

I believe in the chances
we take,
to be complete
for one moment
with something we need.

I believe in the crawling
and struggling
of a baby
much more that I believe
in his first step.

I believe in trees,
especially willows,
that do not try to fight the wind.

And I believe in you,
whoever you are
I believe...


If there is a time

If there is a time
when I'm alone again,
covered only with hands
that can never reach me,
if there is a time
without him
a time without hope
of his ever coming to me,
I could not cry
because he's gone.

I could only be grateful
that he had been here.



How empty of me
to be so full of you...


That Sunday

We stayed together as long as we could
that Sunday

knowing we didn't want to leave one another
was enough


Words I've Saved

There are words I've saved,
words I don't want to use too much
they might wear out.

I save some words mostly because
there are days
when I can't stay kissed

Days when all my confidence
wears off,
when I'm porous
and just have to have
more of you
to fill me in
and hold me...


Just a thought

You are just a thought
something to start the day with
I thought you'd be something more
but that was just a dream...



It's so hard trying to tell someone
of the thoughts in your mind.
How you feel about things in life
the future and events behind.

It's difficult to make them see
all the things you want to do.
For they see everything their way
instead of looking at thoughts of you.

They listen to talk of your dreams
through thoughts of their own mind's eye.
Somehow it never comes out the same
can you tell me why?

I grope to explain it more clearly
how can I make them understand?
Just what words can I use
to put our mind's eye hand in hand?


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Chase the moon

For you my children
may the world be yours
dream freely, dream often
look to the sky
see the stars, jewels of heaven
chase the moon
smell the sea
life is glorious
enjoy it deeply


Stop and listen

I hear your voice
in moments,
between time...
a rhythm of faith
the songs of angels
calling out in measure
if we but stop...
and listen


Beyond Illusion

Child of peace
follow the light
into gentle service
a timeless journey
beyond illusion
where all there is
is to just be...



Never was so much given
for so little asked
my prayer answered
awakened at last


Bring Sleep

A small willingness
a need so deep
transforming relationships
bring peace, bring sleep



The truth of the heart
is in love, and love
a fullness beyond words
The truth of the soul
is in faith, and trust
beyond understanding


Time, swept away

I had the luxury of time
but I let it be swept away
wasted years of my prime
chasing dreams of naivete
but that luxury is no more
my clock's ticking ricochets
so soon, it wont tick anymore


Empty storehouse

The storehouse is empty
it holds no patience or love
just empty promises
of a world without poverty
as we curse God above
while we indulge our weaknesses


oh, music

This world of tone
taking shape with vibration
that of quivering sound
who's words are emotions
who's ears are the soul


Our roots are God

So often we go on an expedition searching for our roots thinking it will give us answers to who we are. Who are we? Truly we are all God's children. So why do we seek answers in the past, on paper, in books and on microfilm, when what we need to do is go within to find all-that-is.

We are not our bodies only but spirit. What matters more, who begat us, or who created us in love? What is more important, our roots or our path? We can spend hours digging or hours serving the Lord. Which does the world need more?

To open our hearts to others who need help now. How can we better serve? What are our priorities, the past or the present? The past is gone and tomorrow is unknown. What we have is the here and now.

We may think what we do doesn't make a difference but it does. Each tear drop, rain drop, grain of sand, or ripple in the waters of life, make a difference.

When we put our full energies into it, our capacity to love, our spirit, we can make a great deal of difference. What would Jesus do? That has become a popular theme. Did he spend time searching his past or in changing the future, for all of us?

He knew His purpose in life and although His time here was brief the difference He made has touched more lives than any power on earth.

He gave us guidance to follow, unconditional love as an example, a foundation of hope and eternity of promises. He reminds us to ask what we may receive, call that we may be answered, knock that the door may be opened to us.

We needn't search for the divine for it is always there. We need only reach out, be open, pray, ask and He lifts us up. We are not only His children but His instruments that we may do his work and be grateful for the opportunity to serve a greater purpose. God's eyes, God's touch, God's love is within us all.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Forget about tomorrow

I'll forget about tomorrow
just like yesterday
a sweet disconnection
from toil and trouble
as memories float away


Sea of Turmoil

The sea was turmoil
waves crashing all about
on this journey, eternal
upon the waters of doubt
as angels above circled
I garnered my shroud
calling your name out loud
the storm soon ended
as the sun parted the clouds


Friday, October 25, 2013

Second Chances

Sometimes what we see as a disaster or loss, is but an opportunity of a new door opening. A new beginning, a gift, a chance for us to make different choices. To choose a new path. To live more authentically. To rediscover the dreams we have buried in the routine of our life.

In a way it is a rebirth of spirit. Sometimes we are given pauses in-between these paths. This is an opportunity to realign ourselves. To be archaeologists of our spirit. To go within and gain a greater self that we were not empowering. A time to study, read, and reprogram our minds, and to free ourselves to all the possibilities before we choose again.

To discover the person we were meant to be. A time to breathe as well as to take care of old business that closure may be complete. We need to dot all those I's spiritually as well as mentally. To take time to release in order to be at peace.

To be in nature escalates the process: whether it's walking he beach or working in the garden. It allows us to fine-tune our soul by opening to the wonders and beauty around us. To realize the miracle of life itself.

What a blessing a new beginning is. It can be an unfolding of all the dreams we tucked away unopened. God must truly love us to give us a chance to start anew. And if we are experiencing fears and uncertainty, this pause is the time to release them to the universe that we may recapture our excitement of life and to know God's love for us.

We can ask for divine guidance and it will be given. It is a time of healing and to find joy. There is a purpose to all things and not everyone knows the blessing of a second chance. It is like Christmas in April or snow in Hawaii and we're the recipient.


Looking out

Tears can't always fall from eyes,
and some things are just too deep
or quiet
to be talked about,
maybe only thought about
when we're all alone
on a plane,
or looking out
any window...


Where you can't go

If you love him,
let him go
to those places within himself
where he can never take you
and where
you must never ask to go...


How I know he doesn't

As long as we can touch each other
with more than our bodies,
I'll know he loves me...


They know

No one smiled
at me today
I guess they know
he's gone...


Objects of love

As for me,
I would rather be able to love
things I cannot have,
than to have things
I'm not able to love....


Broken Mirror

My mind is in a thousand pieces
a broken mirror of names and faces
fading reflections of slices of time
floating around and intertwined...


See the light

See the light
from within
that joy of living
and appreciation
that warms the spirit
and brings joy in faith


Thursday, October 24, 2013


The tide rushes in and
covers my footprints,
leaving the sand fresh
for another adventure.
My life is like the sand...
People journey through my
mind and leave their footprints,
but then the tide rushes in.
Today I'm here with you and
I'm very happy. I have found
a friend, someone to share
my garden, my dreams, and my being.
It's very misty as I sit here
watching you walk along the beach,
aware of the depth of everything
around you.
Except the depth of my love.
Now you are out of my sight but
I'm still close. I feel your
warmth. The waves are moving
closer to me now...
I'm being engulfed with life
all of its beauty and
magnitude of ecstasy
are ours.


Notice Me

You come to see me
only when you're down.
Walk in,
unload your problems,
and then
"I feel better, thank you!"
Why don't you come over
when you're up?
I'd love to see you laugh and smile
and tell me how beautiful
life can be.
Can't you tell I'm caught
inside today?
Sorry, I can't listen,
but look at me.
Can't you tell...
sometimes I need you
not to talk,
but to listen,
please notice me.


Before I wake

I loved you and gave freely
filling my eyes for you to see
without words I spoke the rest
and welcomed your head upon my breast
together we watched the tide
leaving our footprints at the seaside
you won my heart; struck in your gaze
and taught me love in wished for ways
If by our ocean we had remained
we might have kept our treasure gained
naked I came to you, stripped of my pride
all my barriers set aside
I walk along memory's wet seam
to wake up presently from my dream


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Broken Door

This one small door I left closed to you
you broke down and entered through
a trust betrayed, no treasures found
but a small bit of me crushed in the ground
no jewels, no gold, no fine cut glass
just a part of myself is all I ask
to keep unshared; this my own
but even this you couldn't leave alone
my shelter gone, my heart in distress
you broke in here and left me comfortless
if one small part of myself cannot be my own
that prying eyes will not leave alone
this place now is yours; I leave you here
I've gone away someplace, elsewhere
no more will I be here; my heart to race
or my eyes to rest on your sweet face
I'm gone... I'm gone to another place


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

No more candy

My chalice of love now empty
gone is the dry red Chianti
though we drank plenty
there's nothing left in my pantry
no more love, no more candy


Faith is embracing life

God is constantly showing us the way. The road is narrow and we may often lose our direction, get distracted, fall into a pit of depression. We may be wounded emotionally and spiritually. Be blinded by our own fears. But when we seek Him the light is always there to show us the way.

This is called faith. When we accept that we are lost without the divine in our life, the light grows brighter. When we honor God, we honor ourselves. God loves us unconditionally and wants us to demonstrate love. Starting with ourselves, for only when we truly accept the divine within can we recognize it in all others.

To not just love when things are good good but in the hard times too. That is why we sometimes experience trials to test and strengthen our faith. The Holy Spirit will see us through every single thing we experience.

Reach out, that the path may be made smooth. Have no judgement against others or yourself. Release it in God's hands. Only follow the path of love and He will lead you out of the darkness of self-doubt, fear, selfishness, unworthiness, greed and into the light of His unconditional love.

Call on Him for guidance, divine energy, and change that we may be made worthy to be in His divine presence. Let your life be an unfolding into the light. There is not greater power in the universe than God's power.

The reality is we are never alone for the spirit is always with us. Be the authentic self God created you to be. When we rearrange our thinking we rearrange our vision of life. It becomes more joyful, the sun shines brighter, the air smells sweeter, the flowers are more glorious in bloom, the birds song is an aria of sound. And we realize the miracle we are experiencing.

It's called life. It is a blessing and a gift despite the tattered wrappings we sometimes see. Faith comes in many forms, so does love. Embrace it.


Monday, October 21, 2013

Perfect is Love

Perfect is love
it sees no flaws
with timeless grace
it comes and goes
making all the difference
in this cold world....


God's Guidance

God let me know my greater purpose that I may make a difference for I am nothing without you to guide my way. Give me clarity that I may see the true path. Take away my fear and doubts.

Help me to be open to your divine guidance. Help me to accept myself as an instrument of your greater judgement for you created me to serve. Help me to move forward in greater alignment with my true purpose and divine spirit.

Let me have faith despite what I hear from others, for they are not God's truth. What He speaks, we know. All our gifts were bestowed by the divine for a divine purpose. Help me to put my faith in your divine guidance and attune my spirit to your divine will.

All that I am you made me to be. Reveal to me that which I need to know. All that I need you will provide. Take away the limitations I have created as stumbling blocks.

Give me the wisdom to truly listen. Let me be open to great changes. I was lost but now I am found. Thank you Lord. Let be willing to make a difference, no matter how small.

Help me to discipline myself that I may enjoy greater creativity. To be conscious of all that is around me and of all my blessings. Let me release the past that I may go forward without carrying unwanted burdens with me.

Let me not hold on to old ways, old problems, old choices that are not serving my higher purpose. We truly know when it is time to move on, it is only fear that keeps us rooted in the past.

Help me set myself free to be all that I can be. Help me not to doubt myself but to have faith in you. Let me accept that it is all right to want more, to accept more, to become more than I have ever been before.

Let me unfold to my full potential in your light. Let me be in joy. God knows what we need and He is never limited. Let everything I do be an act of love for you. Let my path be a prayer and your guidance the love that takes me there.


Unsaid Things

I always said
"you don't really know me"
and you didn't
for without communication
gut personal truths
can there ever be knowledge
of who someone really is?

The telephone rings... you are there
I want to say "I love you"
but I don't....


Sunday, October 20, 2013

I look back

I look back through tears
So much heartache 
Through trying years
I look back with joy
Happiness breaks the floodgate 
The times I've enjoyed
I look back in awe
The memories accumulate
Emotions so raw
I look back in gratitude 
So much to contemplate
Oh, life's brief interlude


The greatest love

I know I ask God for too much
But I just can't make it on my own
He lifts me up, my steady crutch
His light leads me back home
His angels lend their protecting touch
In faith I'm never left alone
His love and forgiveness beyond reproach 
His is the greatest love I've ever known

My Heart True

Do not think I am faithful to my word
I am but faithful to love alone
all the sweet promises I have heard
from you, did not make you my own
when I hungered you were good
your fertile body was my feast
but do not think I will not go
as so surely I would
and rise again as does the yeast
to find another, my heart to bare
and your moods as changing as the tide
an inconstant lover who doesn't care
will find me gone from your bedside
and even though I am gone from you
love itself will be faithful, my heart true


Saturday, October 19, 2013

This heartbreak of man

These ideas
songs whispering
on the wind
tales of love
tales of loss
and the hard road
of life
These ideas
fill the pages
before me
falling from above
blow wind
bring me more
songs of loneliness
hymns of rage
let me jot them down
These ideas
that span ages
the music of emotion
that guides my hand
and fills my mind
stories the soul
must tell
this heartbreak
of man....



I couldn't get over you
a bridge I couldn't cross
years alone and blue
would be the cost
a wound I couldn't undo


I shall forget you

I shall forget you, do not fear
although I still think of you today
and tremble yet at the love of last year
even though you turned your heart away
we have long since left each other
and I protest I've forgotten you, but now
I still am not able to love another


Friday, October 18, 2013

Such Torment

We a chemical reaction
oh, such a fatal attraction
the pain and loss
such a great cost
was fun while it lasted
oh, such a blast
why does love toy with us so?
such torment to undergo.....



a soft caress
in time
it all goes


Lost and Serene

We walked but a mile
on an endless road of dreams
you stopped to rest a while
looking lost and serene
and there I left you with a smile


My Plaintive Cry

"You don't know me"
is my plaintive cry
not enough!
You don't know anything
except my exterior
you don't know the why
that makes me unique
what I am... it's real
what I need
what I think
and what I feel
you don't know... shit
what the devil you do
don't tell me - what
to do - and when to do it
I'm not happier that way
and though you mean well
you only blew it!...
I'm not just a doll
though you think
that's all - I would be
how could you!
I can have everything
be everything
I can't explain it
you can't make me over
into what you wanted
it just wouldn't fit!
That's a disagreeable thing
checking me out
like a prize to be bought
I feel so... so lonely with you
and there's no reason to....


Thursday, October 17, 2013


Oh, you plastic wrapped... self insulated
people... prepackaged before you're
filled with any emotions...
running down your assembly line of life
...being stamped, labeled, and tagged
on the way...
Oh, you souls... hoping that you're
made of recyclable material... and that
your batteries don't wear out too soon
...afraid that you may have a defect
in your parts... and be rejected on the
trash heap with other misfits... all
hoping to conform to the same mold...
so no one will spot any difference
in you...
May your factories break down so that
these robots of you that are considered
...likenesses of people... can not only
feel again... but it would clean the air


Kinder Partings

If I should somehow learn
that you are finally free
and desired to rediscover love with me
the question is would I again return
or deprive myself of your company
I find a love in bitterness did end
takes so much longer for a heart to mend
maybe if you had left me in a kinder way
I would feel love still if you should return today


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Delicate Balance

The delicate balance of our lives
on butterfly wings it flys
reaching for the skies
falling from the tears in our eyes
The delicate balance of our lives
from the mouths of babies it cries
in moments of passion it sighs
in its grasp we live and die
This delicate balance... of our lives


Come Winter, alone

The summer is gone, departed on the wind
the branches are preparing for autumn's show
the leaves beginning to take on a golden glow
the fall grasses kneeling in the breeze they bend
the cold season is coming now
the summer is at an end
the birds are leaving on departing wing
going before the winter should begin
the animals preparing storage in their den
all earth waiting for the cold the season brings
I tramp among the leaves on joyful feet
along the paths webbed in early dew
my ears listen to its damp falling beat
another year begins its visit without you
the day is fair, alone I enjoy the view


Tuesday, October 15, 2013

New Again

It frightens me
it's too much... it's not
I don't know
we're such strangers
there's really no point
aren't you sure enough
of your own self
to weather the competition?
Everyone is so sure
that I am... what I am
no one allows me to
follow my own intuition
they label me...
I burn the labels
to hell with people
who want to label me
I've traveled the chapters
of my life... my way
a journey, a window
I feel new again
each time I grow
my way!... always free
and it has damn little
to do with you
separate people we all are
our voices each echo
and aren't we terrified?
and isn't it madness?
it's stupid!... insanity!
that we should
think we know someone well
enough to change them
Christ... what vanity!


Monday, October 14, 2013


The roots I've planted
can't support my dying tree
in this land where I was transplanted
along with my shrinking family


Than you to me

You were less than fair
not always kind
I could not hold you, I find
to love you still, I could not bear
you left me with cold words
hearing them I took my flight
memories return unbidden at night
of the painful way you cut the cords
once it was I loved you dearly
you won me with your charm
I melted, lying in your warm arms
believing your lies... almost nearly
I wish all life for you will be
much sweeter, kinder than you to me


Sunday, October 13, 2013

A clarity in notes

There's a clarity in notes
that rise and fall
this music of the soul
that lifts us when we're down
guiding us towards heaven
with our protecting angels


That land of dreams

My pictures of the past
of the foreign land
from which I come
do fade and fray
that place I always
wanted to see someday
I still dream of France
though many years have passed
for all the things I'd planned
these dreams never to succumb
to time turning things sideways
eroding many a wishful chance
to walk that land of dreams


Someday I'll Go

When we are searching for self we often look toward the past in wonder. Not to our past but the past beyond us. Who were our ancestors? What were they like? What was life like for them? What were their passions, their goals? What did they love? Why did they leave and relocate to other lands? What were they seeking? And did they find it?

I miss not knowing any grandparents. It seemed as if my history ended with my immediate family. They didn't remember France because they hadn't been there and seemed to have no desire to go. Any yet my father had dreams of exploring. We planned many vacation that we never took. Places he was going to take us to see that never came to be. But he himself was on the road a lot during my childhood.

Crossing many states and seeing places we only dreamed of. He loved the life of a trucker and the freedom and the broad vistas and the life on the road. We were a place he returned to briefly but his heart was on the road, in the adventure he sometimes would share with us in his stories.

I would dream of seeing them with my own eyes some day, of wondrous mountains, vast plains, deep forests and of sailing across the sea to visit other lands, but especially to France where I felt my roots called to me. To walk the land of my ancestors walked. To see the churches here they prayed, the towns in which they lived, the cemeteries where their own loved ones were buried. To taste the food they brought up from the sea and that flourished on the land.

Years have passed and yet my passion to go back to where they live, laughed and loved is still alive. What was my grandmother like as a young girl? What were her dreams? How did they meet, court, get married? What made then leave? It is a question no one can answer and haunts my subconscious.

We all search for something, what were they searching for? And so I buy books and look at the pictures and buy maps and seek the towns. I talk the talk but when will I be able to walk the walk? I think you mean for me to go back, Dear God, or you wouldn't give me the dreams I dream and the hope I hope. I feel it getting closer and someday I will be seeing it with my own eyes.



Possessive isn't bad
it's clinging to that part of yourself
you shared with me...
jealousy is the acid that erodes

Give your lover freedom
allow him his wings
for even when he is gone
you still possess within your being
every moment you shared
the dreams he revived in you
the feeling of warmth his love kindled

These possessions, unmaterial
cannot be taken from you...
they alone are yours...


Saturday, October 12, 2013


I was a neon sign announcing:
"here I am, someone who does not deserve to be treated well."
The more I advertised, the more they came
and basked in my neon glow...
watering my doubts and fears
on and on and on this would go
day after day, year after year
a thirsty soul, a neon red drought
until you came along and wiped away my tears
and turned my neon light out....


A pilgrimage

Let the rain fall
walk through the water
let your soul gallop
under its own power
slowly, into the light
this storm
a pilgrimage
of faith
growing stronger....


I surrendered

I surrendered to truth
I surrendered to love
and found myself
and the peace
that came with it....


Ours a different future

Brothers and sisters
kindred souls
let's come together
and break the mold
ours is resistance
this storm to weather
be strong, be bold
brothers and sisters
let dreams take hold
ours a different future
for us to behold...


Free on the winds

The answer came from above
down the mountain path
protected in beauty
free on the winds
as intuition and love


This breeze of time

What the future holds
matters not more than
this now we have
it's only this moment
that we exist in
not our tomorrows
those may never come
not our yesterdays
those fade away
we grasp only now
this breeze of time


Dream wild

Dream wild
dream free
meek and mild
holds no possibility


Fish in the sea

My husband was a starfish
sticking to me, many armed
and feeding off me
as if I were a mollusk
sucking the insides
out of me...

I became a sharp toothed
finding his weak spots
I attacked
battering him senseless
then chewed him up whole

gracefully in the sea
looking for my dream fish
I found him at last
the predator of the sea

He cut me to ribbons
with his sarap skin
then opened his fearsome jaws
tearing... biting

Me bleeding into nothingness
eaten by
my lover the shark
and the cycle continues...


Friday, October 11, 2013

As trees go by

I watched the trees
going by as we drove
on our highway of dreams
our future at the end of the road
a long haul of fantasy
we should have never stopped
our journey blown to smithereens
an opportunity never topped


Home to Roost

We'd shuffled the truth
put it in a different order
and tried to call a truce
but it didn't really matter
deceit came home to roost


Begin the forgetting

We stared at each other
just sitting in silence
we'd run out of words
our connection broken
and so we parted ways
with nothing left
but time on our hands
to begin the forgetting....


Nothing on top

We tried to get up
that great big hill
never looking back
no time to stop
thinking it'd be a thrill
a one way track
only to find nothing on top


Washed Away

We walked the beach of love
leaving footprints in the sand
only to be washed away
by time...


Wilderness Alive

The sunlight pulses through the trees
in streamers
the air borne with pine odor
and fresh autumn
the greenness is turning golden
here and there
plants discarding their summer blossoms
preparing for winter's coat
a scurry of wilderness alive
you can feel the capacity of living
even in the damp warm earth
cause and effect
a natural occurrence here
with inexperienced steps
I climb deeper within it all
a lawless and wild world
with infinite beauty
this unexplored forest land is...


Thursday, October 10, 2013

My Recovery

Love healed me
angels watching
in my dark hours
fear set free
so key
to my recovery


Such Possibility

Time lost
chasing ghosts
behind the doors
of lost loves
and broken hearts
haunted me with
such possibility


Blue Datsun Trucks

You have taught me
to dislike
blue Datsun trucks
oil wells
to distrust
men with
black curly hair
and mischievous
soft voices
and myself...
To hate
lies... written on
prescription pads
the other mistress
who use,
and accuse...
but you couldn't
kill my
love of the ocean
my sense of pride
or my
feeling written
and... my love
for you....


Winter's Snowy Place

When spring comes it melts the mountain snow
the bare trees have leaves again to blow
but the bitterness of the love of last year
frozen within my heart remains still here
no matter where I've been or where I go
my love will always be buried in last year's snow

I do not long for a lover's meeting place
or my arms yearn for last year's lost embrace
memories alone live on for me now here
no one again to come so close, so near
nor eyes to gaze in love upon a face
who does not belong in winter's snowy place


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The pit waits

Their bones baked to whiteness
deaths blank stare
bores into my soul, silent outcry

Train loads arriving here daily
packed with humanity
covered with hopelessness and dust

Smokestacks consuming breath
peopled with lines
awaiting to blacken the sky

Once more passed over
I hide within my stillness
afraid to be noticed

They fear our threat
the graves beyond their promise
motherless and fatherless, the pit waits



I cannot sleep
or eat alone
they watch me wash
and go to the toilet
the whistles blow
they call the roll
spindly legs
emaciated bodies
diarrhea a common malady
and filth everywhere
matrons with numbers
on their dress
beat us with sticks
they tattooed numbers
on our arms
amid shrieks of pan
deeply in the skin
my stigmata for life
our heads were shaved
Kapos... Kapos... everywhere
we line up for everything
bugs infest our beds
and devour us in our sleep


The mistake of you

I was warned
but did not hear
I was shown
but did not see
so I suffered through
the mistake of you


The truth of yesterday

Strange is the truth of yesterday
in passing deceit is seen clearly
with open eyes and heavy heart


Naked Truth

I perceive the world and strip
it naked to the truth... thus
exposed and open it's revealed
in words as luminous as the soul


Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Shoreline Restoration

The tide is high
the beach is gone
submerged below
the watery shore
once mine to explore
caverns and canyons
sea homes that glow
places I'd walked before
so softly I sigh
waiting for high tide to go
my shoreline companion
restore my aching soul


Look out your window

Look out your window
there awaits a miracle
beauty to fill the soul...


Weak with reality

I have been sitting
a lifetime
in shock... weak with reality
the expectation so much different
then the happening
I was blown into shattered pieces
with words...
My anguish escaping
with my exhaled breath
the ultimate substance of my being
oozed out...
weak with sudden ease
in comfort... courting death
I am


Monday, October 7, 2013

Ask for the Divine

Inner faith leads to outer success. We must believe before we can achieve. God is our divine guide to our authentic self and our true purpose. Reach out in prayer, God will hear. He knows before we speak what is in our hearts.

He is but waiting for us to ask for His help and guidance. Be open and believe that you may receive. He is the light, the way, the truth and the life. Seek him in all that you do and ask Him to show you the way.

Never fear for God is always near and He knows your divine purpose. Ask for divine enlightenment, that you may better understand. Ask for divine strength that you may not falter and be stuck in fear. Ask for divine guidance that He may show you the way. Ask for divine truth that you may have greater faith. Ask for divine contentment that you may see the abundance in all that you have. Ask for divine gratitude that you may see God's blessings in every day of your life.

Include God in all that you do that your life has divine purpose. Be quick to forgive yourself, as well as others, that you harbor no ill will to disturb your peace of mind. See others as the children of God that they are.

Life isn't perfect, it is seeking to achieve perfection. Be joyful in all that you do, all you receive, and in all that you are able to give. Share what you have with others.

All hardships and struggles are temporary, don't get stuck in them. Be open to receive whatever life lesson is there, and move on.

Your journey is divine. Your path is ordained by the unconditional love of your Heavenly Father. You may choose to follow where it may lead and be transformed on the journey.

You may choose to follow the light of divine purpose and step out of the shadows of the ego's negativity and what-ifs. We're are more than our mind for our spirit is divine and life is not our destination but only the journey on the way.


Proceed in Faith

Sometimes the pain of yesterday's childhood are brought back in words of today. Play it safe. Don't go for the gold ring at your age. You are too old to try for a new career, relationship, to go back to school, to become a writer, an artist or whatever you're dreaming of. This is the real world, get real.

The words are spoken our of fear, out of love, out of concern for you. But what is your true purpose and what is God's will? He wants you to increase the dimension of your life. To grow on the path, through the process. To have faith. He wants the very best for you!

What is the potential of your life? Your gifts? Have you been honoring them fully? The true reality may not be the "safe path" others would choose for you and ask you to choose for yourself. You are being tested, again!

We need to believe that "all things are possible". That God can and will remove the obstacles in our path. We are what we were created to be and when we realize our true purpose we need to have faith and follow it like a shining star leading us to our destiny.

Don't try to force yourself into the mold of other people's expectations of you. We already are what God created us to be. We are an expression of God's love. To accept divine will is to follow the true path and to fulfill our divine purpose.

There are not limitations in the divine, only in our mind. The difference between faith and fear is an acceptance of God's will. Through Him all good things are a reality. Believe you can do what you came here to do. For God will walk with you each step of the way.

He will light the darkness, move the mountains, carry us when we're weary and guide us through the storms. He wants for us more than we ask for ourselves. God is all possibilities, through faith, manifested.


Running with the pack

I run with the pack
those tainted
by love hurts
those too poor
to give what is not left
emotional cripples
with disfigured hearts
it is strange
we find each other
unplanned recognition
drawn as magnets
searching out answers
to make us whole
they sympathize
with unsaid words
without needing to be told
simple acts of understanding
it is so hard
alone... unquiet
seeking peace
hiding within a pack
of misfits
before the world calls


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Seasons and Time

Another season
another tide
nature's reasons
and time's ride


Not so special

My father always raised us
to be proud
never to cry when hurt
by those who would...
never to let them see your pain
he wanted us to be tough
in a hard world
if they touched you somewhere
within your self-defenses
don't let them know...
he wanted us to show the world
to grab it by the shirt tail
and never let go
wit and sarcasm are weapons
one can learn to use well
to guard against pain
sting them first...
it's as though he thought the world
was out to destroy us
and we had to use all the muscle
he could endow us with
then you find out some day
you're not so special after all
a connection...
we hadn't looked for


Saturday, October 5, 2013

Less of me

In the beginning
when you started kissing me
I told you I wouldn't be
a replacement for your
past mistress...
and you said I wasn't
almost assuring me
and sure enough I became one
I should have asked then
if you didn't want a new experience
to replace the last...
then what was it you were after?
but I was too mesmerized to think
of any questions so pertinent
until the whole bloody affair
was over...
now there's no undoing
what has been done
and the questions that should
have been asked
never were...
I don't think less of you for it
but less of me for fooling myself
it was a slight case of
love stroke...
now that I've come back
down to earth
I find myself wondering if
it were possible to go back
and redo things differently
if I would...
for I miss most wanting to....


Friday, October 4, 2013

Begin Again

This is the time of renewal, rebirth, growth, to follow a new direction, to begin again, and for gratitude of all the blessings and experiences of the past year, for acknowledgement and release.  What we believe is what we receive, so expect the very best.

A new chapter in our life is unfolding and we are in the process of becoming.  Have faith in the process and purpose of becoming.  Have faith in the process and purpose of life, knowing where you are at this given time is right where you're supposed to be for your own growth on your path of learning.

It may not seem so, at times, until we learn to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary to see the blessings in the lessons of life, there there is a divine plan in all things great and small. To listen and learn. To follow when our heart and spirit speak the truth.

Life doesn't jut happen, it develops according to divine plan. Where there is chaos it is usually a creation of our own mind's disorder.  When we don't move ahead is our own fear subconsciously keeping us back? Are we not ready to let go and move on?  Our mental and emotional outlook will be reflected in the order or disorder of our lives.

Our peace and serenity will be will be echoed in the time we give to our spiritual self. To quite the mental storms of fear, doubt, negativity that clutter it and seek through meditation, prayer or just inner quietness, of just being, that we may better hear, know and remember a greater purpose and truth.

We are children of God.  There is a purpose to our being, to our life. We are here for a reason. God loves us and wants the best for us. We are free to choose and we can choose to seek greater wisdom, guidance of all-that-is. The we have the power to change our lives. To have greater meaning to our lives. That God will provide what we need to succeed. Faith is important.


Discovering Truth

I question life
and events
even unevents
not content with
just accepting
but always asking
the whys
not always answered
but growing
with the seeking
finding truth
the greatest discovery
of all...


Thursday, October 3, 2013


Age took my traditions away
family scattered by the winds
rarely do they visit these days
alone looking back to those whens
that together we were a family


Change and New Beginnings

Abrupt changes in your life are real eye-openers.  They help you to reevaluate your priorities, your goals, your lifestyle, your whole existence.  Endings are truly new beginnings.  We take time to soul search, to be more conscious. What is it we truly want in life? What is excess baggage?  What do we want to hold on to, what do we want to let go?  Are we content with our profession or is something else calling to us?

Often times on change is a catalyst to many others, and a searching for our authentic self.  We start to take a good hard look at our life and ourselves.  To make a better connection to our inner spirit.  To move forward we must first release the past.  Ask God to Help!  Ask the angels.

We must release to find peace.  To reaffirm our self-worth and to rid ourselves of negative patterns that lock us into repeated relationships and resentments.  Become a student of your own history.  There are so many good books out now that are aides to self examination.  Others choose a professional counselor.  Whatever works, use it.

They are but tools, you ultimately, are the sculptor.  Be grateful for all the experiences, challenges, and blessings that shape your life.  It is a growing, changing, evolving, enlightening, learning experience that is never ending.

Be purposeful in your examination.  After all,what could be more important than your life, your self, your spirit, your full potential?  To be the best you that you can be is to honor the divine, all-that-is, in all of us.

Believe in yourself and all the possibilities within.  Allow the unfolding of a greater spirit to begin.  We already have all the elements we need as a gift from the divine.  We have the power and vision necessary to remove the obstacles and blocks in our lives. To create a new path in our destiny.  To follow the high road and to always be grateful for the blessings in our life.



My laughter, like glass breaking
stiff, uncomfortable
without joy unleashed
a stinted sound
an imitation from one
who lives in tears
even to me...


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Get Ready

Have you outgrown your circumstances again?  Is a new future, an new you, unfolding?  Are you ready for it or are you dragging your heels, holding on to yesterday and the past?  Are you clinging to your belief of limitations?  Fear of the unknown?

Well get ready.  The curtain is rising and it's time for a new chapter to begin.  It comes whether we are ready or not.  Prepared or not.  Eager or not.  It is process, progress, potential growth, anticipated or not.  It's our next step in spiritual growth, embraced or not.

The only way to grow is through new experiences.  Life is a mystery, a history in the making.  We are the participants.  Our role is vitally important whither we realize it or not.  Each raindrop that falls makes a difference.  So do we, otherwise we wouldn't have been created.

Our being is not an accident.  It is divine purpose.  New people enter our lives, new directions take place, new locations, new settings.  Some doors close and new ones open.  Voila!  We're in the process.

Life is taking place, and guess what?  You're a major player in yours.  You're the star.  Center stage. You'll discover the script and find your direction.  You are being guided step by step.  Listen for the messages.  Pay heed to the cues you receive.  Step out of the shadows and into the light. You're on!

Each of us have major turning points in our lives and we know when we're in the midst of one.  We can't always see where we're going as there are many turns in the road.  And there is work to do at each stop along the way.

There are pauses, intermissions, and then another journey begins.  As we mature in our roles we gain knowledge, self-assurance, confidence so we are able to tackle difficulties with greater enlightenment, knowing that we are always connected to the greatest producer.  God.


Today is a gift

This is a time of process, of change, and we can't avoid it.  So embrace it, welcome it and whatever new beginning and new adventures it holds.  Life is exciting, and never stagnant.

It holds new surprises all the time.  Each day is a gift.  Are we going to make the best of it?  See it as the precious wonder that it is?  Tomorrow it will be history, don't waste it.

Today will not come again.  Tomorrow is a mystery yet to be discovered.  So many people live their lives in a routine.  Never noticing each day's passing as if they are in an unconscious state.  For they are!  Unconscious to the beauty around them, of a cloud passing, squirrels feeding, birds singing, the wind whispering.

To be conscious is to be aware of all that is in your environment and to be in appreciation.  Chose to live consciously.  Wake up to the world and to all life.  You can almost hear a tree drinking, a flower slowly opening, the hum of a bee gathering for honey in the making.

Life isn't just doing.  It's attending it in awareness.  It's valuing the gift that life is.  It's honoring yourself, your experiences, your surroundings and your spirit.

It's acknowledging all the wonder of the world and being an active participant.  When we value more, realize more, we love more.  We exist in a state of joy, no matter the conditions of our life, for we realize there is more in the everyday than we ever anticipated.

It is an unfolding of your future potential.  No one can replace you.  No one can fulfill your destiny but you.  No one can contribute to this world what you yourself have to give.

You truly are unique.  There truly is a purpose to your existence.  God created you and your path out of love.  He allows you to grow into it gaining wisdom along the way.  Within your every step is a shadow of his, for he is with you always.

Get up and greet the day.  The present has arrived.


Too many yesterdays

We have long ago lost
what to say to each other
our minds now solitary
unspeakable with too many
yesterdays gone by
without each other


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The failed republic

Failed are the days of the republic
led to ruin, sullied, tarnished, broken
power, greed, a blood filled goblet
a glorious past sold out and forsaken


Without Cause

It is not clear
my life... my reason
the secret scheme
of each passing season
weathering the drought
filled storms
the self ruination
of being reborn
it takes a tremendous
amount of energy
to fight the conscious
will of me
it is without cause
without reason for being
you see, and that's why
it's so frightening
life itself now
is my enemy
divorced, even my neighbors
have turned away from me
and so it is within
the battle rages
the lights are on
I have set the stages
and I curse them all
in blunt words
of my abhorrent past
I must hold on
while my strength does last
for the curtain is dropping
and falling fast...