Sunday, February 18, 2018

Great changes in my life

I have been rethinking my blessings of this past year, the ending of one chapter in my life and a whole new world that has been given to me. I have achieved closure in some areas and a new door has opened. I have been transported from being enclosed away from wide-open spaces to the beauty of God's country.

I know that God answers our prayers and needs, not in the limited way it is our nature to believe, but in a greater, fuller, richer, way than we could imagine possible. I wanted space and God gave me a home on the hill with an endless expansive sky, great forested areas and a view that goes on for miles that takes the breath away. Where I formerly felt suppressed, I now feel serene and expansive.

God wants more for us than we possibly could ask for ourselves. I was in a job that had suppressed my joy and an estrangement with family that left me feeling empty at times. I've found when you ask God you'd better stand back for answers come quickly and in and abundance that can stagger our imaginations. The same day I prayed the job that was sucking the life out of me ended and a healing began, not just physically and mentally, but in a great spiritual growth that is taking me on a new path. God gave me back my dreams and the time and training to put them to use and, I'm sure, the expectation that I do so.

The gulf with my immediate family has not improved much and have learned you cannot force what others have no desire to give, but God has given me a wealth of family I never knew. Shortly after my prayer two cousins came back into my life I had not seen in many years and thanks to our mutual interest in genealogy I now have a wealth of cousins in a multitude of countries I'm getting to know and opportunities to travel and meet them. It is a healing not only for myself but others as well.

I've also been blessed with the new granddaughter who is dear to my heart and fills my life with joy even from miles away, as do all my grandchildren. God does give us what we need when we need it and all we need to do is ask and leave the answer to Him. Then be prepared to 'receive' and 'believe' that it will be so, for God loves us unconditionally and completely.


Saturday, February 17, 2018

Flowers and family

The air is crisp today, so it is on with the sweatshirt, instead of the short sleeve T-shirt of late. Misty clouds hang low over the mountains and a steady breeze blows the flower windmill I bought myself yesterday, that has a little garden angel in the middle and blue petals, around and around and as it spins I work in my garden planting more marigolds. Their bright golden, yellow, and mixed rust colors give spots of sunshine along the border of rocks I am creating on the hill. It is if they say," here I am." I also plant two different kinds of mint with the hope they will spread out beneath the roses. In another area I plant Golden Sage with its multicolored leaves of green and yellow and along the border two Hardy Sage with their blooms of lavender.

When I water some of the boulders on the hill dislodge and I have to reset them, which is a heavy and muddy task. Luckily they did not completely crush the marigolds beneath them but did decapitate a Golden flower. I still have two new roses to plant but I will save them for another day. One already has a bud that will soon be ready to open. I do need to start the row of boulders along the drive but first I need to get some concrete to set them in place then I can fill it in with flat rocks and an occasional flowerpot or small bust to add height and color.

The squirrels are so active today, running all over the decks and yard as if they missed my company yesterday and are trying to get my attention today. Their antics certainly make me laugh and amuse the neighbors as well.

I take time for my emails and to write my newly discovered cousin in France. She and her husband are coming to the states next month and we may have the opportunity to meet them, although my son is too shy to ask. She has sent the date, hotel, flight and phone number, which I sense is a desire, on her part, and opportunity for all of us. I'm quite excited over the prospect.

When I prayed to God for greater closeness with family He answered with an abundance I had not anticipated. I now have cousins I am in contact with in the states, Canada, France and Chile. He has brought me whole new world of family and I am grateful.


Friday, February 16, 2018

Off to Ventura

It's off to Ventura today: to visit friends, the beach, the Angel store, and browse wherever else the whim carries me and to lunch on the pier. I've been looking forward to it all week and get an early start.

I have brought along my pictures of God's country at my friend's request and she loves the many changes of weather I have captured on film: the snow-covered hills, the cabins, and wildlife. She laughed at the series of Pesky, the squirrel, stealing the cotton out of my chair cushion on my back deck. Of course, she loved the tall pine trees and has tw on her back deck that are so big and tall, still in containers, she doesn't know how they will be moved out of there and she would love to have somewhere to plant them, but wants it to be her own place, which is impossible where she lives as her condo only has decks for yards.

My main purpose of going to Ventura was to file my income taxes but I did not make enough for that to be possible and my CPA refused to charge me for her time so I gave her a gift of greeting cards to use.

It is an overcast and chilly day. Still, there were surfers out in the water, one windsurfer that fascinated the children at the next table, plus a few speedboats and young people in shorts running up and down the wharf. This weekend fishermen were out doing their best to bring in a catch or two while I just sat absorbed my surroundings. As well as enjoyed wonderful meal and the smell of the sea air.

It's big treat to have lunch on the pier at one of my favorite seafood restaurants. The extra sourdough bread comes fresh and warm, they have coleslaw unique and unequaled, and the fresh cod has me salivating. The atmosphere, of course, looking ride out over the water draws me to a window seat when it is too chilly to sit outside. I feel totally relaxed and rejuvenated as I always do watching the waves play against the shore.

I couldn't resist going to visit the Angel store nearby. I found a statue of the Arch-Angel Uriel that is unusual; I've never seen one before so, of course, I broke down and bought it as well as a Boyd's bunny for my granddaughter. At that Gifts from Earth shop I found some charcoal incense and a beautiful pair of earrings for my daughter. She buys everything the baby needs and nothing for herself. She needs an Easter gift from the heart as well as things for the baby. I know she will be surprised.


Thursday, February 15, 2018

Whole Again

My goodbye is near
gone the confusion
gone the endless fear
soon the conclusion
seventy aught years
ended in seclusion
all lost and forgotten
free from delusion
whole and unbroken
no more my dear


Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Higher Selves

When we choose and identity,
we begin to build our essence...
from within it starts to grow,
that higher self we call divine,
for we are the source, us true


Tuesday, February 13, 2018

We Float

Stand up and feel
build upon trust
know what's right
love lets us float


Monday, February 12, 2018


We shoplifted as children
stealing love from the shelves
taking it where we found it
filling our empty days