Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The gift of life

The package is in the mail.  Your gift is on the way.  What you ordered will be received.  Have no doubts.  Have no fear.  For what you asked.  God did hear.  He always hears us!

Now affirm that it will arrive.  When we ask and then don't believe, need we wonder why we don't receive? We lack faith when we don't acknowledge and express our gratitude, knowing that help is on the way.

It will be manifested in whatever way best serves our highest good.  Our blessings unfold and open to us. Sometimes slowly, petal by petal but always in Divine time.

By Divine will be positive in words and actions.  Be faith in action by proceeding with life, working toward your goals.  To be in faith is to live with purpose.

We create and realize each experience through conscious actualization.  Be in alignment with your true purpose.  When we are aligned with Divine destiny, our spiritual reality, we feel a rightness of living, an inner peace.

What we create, learn, practice, share, we do in joy.  Constantly work on improving the product of self. Enlightenment of spirit.  A seeking of knowledge.  Spiritual growth.

Be true to yourself, honor your spirit.  Acknowledge the Divine within.  As a child of God, live consciously. Strive to always give your best.  Act as if you are working for God.

Do each task as an offering of spirit and your will do it well.  Nothing is too trivial to do right.  Take pride in all that you do.  Pay attention.  Accomplish with love and care.

Everything is a gift of life.  Start each day as if you were opening a package, with reverence, in anticipation, filled with joy.  With this attitude you will not be disappointed.

Remember this day will not come again.  It is the only present we have.  Face it eagerly, savor each moment. Don't squander it or numb yourself to it.  Be attentive.

The gift of life is here and now.


How ridiculous

I ran after you
seeking your approval
because it mattered
at the time
what you thought
of me...

I was seeking
a lack of rejection
how silly!
When the only one
who can reject me
is myself...

Because I loved you
I felt
you also must
react to this love

Love is something
contained within
what I am

How ridiculous
to feel that
you must
counter respond
or it was a rejection...


No words

I can't answer
the questions in your
My heart
doesn't have the


Love does make a difference

I divorced my husband
and felt nothing
but we split...and
I feel twice as divorced
as before...
Love does make a difference


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Your other names

An enormous blunder
a gaint pit
a wrong turn
my biggest mistake
all other names


Too brief

I sat back and thought
two months, only two months
we were lovers?
It seemed so much longer
Maybe that was because
you were so much a part
of my life
My whole world revolved
around you
and yet it was much too


Trust in God

Trust in the Lord.  Put your faith in Him before others.  Ask for His guidance and surrender the outcome of events to His hands knowing God always has your best interests at heart.

Have faith, even in the darkest hour.  Who loves you more than your Divine Father?  Those who do evil to another will experience the wrath of the Lord.

He is aware of all things.  We only need but ask and desire His help, ask for assistance, believe in His all-powerfullness and His love, surrender to His will to receive the benefit of His blessings.  Desire, ask, believe, receive.

God has made this promise to us.  But we must first ask.  For God has given us free will.  He is waiting for us to seek Him.  Waiting for us to acknowledge that without Him we are helpless in our struggles.

He is the hope of the world.  The light in the darkness. The all seeing, all knowing power of all creation. God's wisdom is greater than ours.  Where we have doubts, He is the light of faith.

When we are worried, He is the strength of the all-knowing.  We we are jealous, He is the means to contentment.  When we feel betrayed He will help us to forgive.

When we are angry He will fill us with peace.  When we feel abandoned He will shower us with love.  When we are sad He will overwhelm us with Joy.

We are never powerless when we ask God to lead us out of the darkness.  Never helpless in His great care. He will send legions of angels to watch over you.

He is everywhere and in all things.  We are on a mission and God has sent us.  Life isn't an accident but a divine plan.  The Lord doesn't make mistakes. Trust in His will.  Follow where He leads, be conscious in all you do so that you are aware of your path, that you may encounter angels unawares.


Live in fullness

Live each day to the fullest.  Be purposeful in all that you do.  Realize the gift of each new morning and be in gratitude when each evening arrives.  There are no guarantees that there is more.

Don't postpone, procrastinate, neglect or forget the "I love yous" when you part, the goodnight kiss when you retire, the call to a friend, the notes of appreciation.  All the little touchy-feely reaching out warm and fuzzes that say how much you care.

Give others the respect and love you wish to receive yourself.  It's the little things that make a difference.  A little note packed in a lunch, sharing a subscription of an uplifting magazine with a loved one or a friend.

If you find a fascinating article copy it and pass it along.  Send care packages to those not near, small things to show your care, not just at holidays but just because.

Surprise others with kindness and pass it on.  Offer to babysit, pet sit or flower care as a gift.  Do a craft day with your grandchildren and let them bring friends or do a nature discovery walk.

Write letters from the heart instead of just a "how are you?", laugh, play, share your day.  Make a difference in the life of someone.  Be a secret friend to a shut-in, someone now at work or in the neighborhood.

Be a one-woman welcoming committee.  Visit an elderly person with no family.  Volunteer to take them shopping or to church.

Take time to renew your spirit.  Meditate with a friend.  Teach others how to be quiet and go within.  Honor nature.  Keep a bird feeder.  Throw nuts or fruit to the squirrels.  Get up early and see the sunrise.  Take frequent photos and share a copy.  Plant a tree in your area.  Help someone with their garden for things that grow and enrich the soul.  Beautify your neighborhood.

Make each day a joyful gift to the Lord and to yourself.  So at the close of the day you can know you did your best.  No regrets.


Just Afraid

The memory fades
of what we were
My days
are just nights
lit with neon lights
Sleep eludes me
I'm afraid the
dreams of you
will return
and then again
they're all I have
and I'm afraid
they too will go...
beyond that
I'm just


Monday, July 29, 2013

Along the way

Looking back
over the hard road
I've traveled
so much learned
so much lost
along the way...
The trail of life
this road of time
has no map
to keep us clear
of the bumps
along the way...


In his nightmares

The woman I was...
disappeared before I was born
died in the delivery room
giving birth to your love
drowning in its waves...
washed up on the beach
choking on sand...
her eyelids formed of seaweed
asleep in the very deep
Her lover left her there
sometime ago...
breathing deeply in gratitude
I came to him in his nightmares
to tell him she's gone...


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Summer of circumstance

we'll sing our songs
we'll dance our dance
and enjoy
this lovely summer
of circumstance


Letting the wrong word slip

I remember the first time,
.... It started with a kiss
and that one led to another
and another...
and another...
You kissed so creatively.
When you asked to touch me
I was caught between
yes... and no,
... and yes again.
It was your personal uniqueness
of getting a message through,
and I wanted your touch much.
I felt as though... my blood
had been heated
by overwhelming forces,
the sensuality of your being
but I won't come alone...
I wanted to make sure
we both felt something.
To share with you... my passion
my capacity for love,
and joy...
You sapped my will... you know.
I had been good for so long,
until I laid with you...
and told you I wanted you.
I used to look at you
when you were unawares
and think "oh, I want him" myself.
And then I had this lack of will
to stop what had been started.
At that moment...
we were co-creators of our fate,
committed people.
It was a voluntary surrender
on both parts.
A feeling of silent joy...
and anticipation... prevailed
as we removed our garments
in our private corners.
But when we had undressed
and I felt your warmth
pressed over me,
and my body was in touch,
... with your body,
and when you entered me
it was a filling of all of me
as though before this moment
I had been suffering...
from a lack of wholeness.
Allow me to introduce my body... to you.
You were so soft to touch, and stroke
and almost instantly... you moved me passion
in stops... and starts
like 10,000 explosions
over and over...
and over...
and over...
You were in complete control
...over my body,
as you moved so rhythmically
moving your pelvis... forward and back
penetrating as deep as... you could.
A brief diet of uninhibitedness
and personal release
I had held in store... much too long
were unleashed on you
as I wrapped myself around you.
And I remember how magnificently
slippery and sweaty we were,
I can still feel it...
Our bodies slid together
like grass we from the dew,
and the soft tones of your voice
...caressed me
and we blew each other cool
until we felt the pulse of feelings
...stir again,
because you were still throbbing
in me... I became aware
of your life' flow.
And you kissed and sucked by breasts
and I confessed... I love you,
it slipped beyond my consciousness,
I hadn't meat to tell you soon.
That one word...
the beginning of the end.


Saturday, July 27, 2013

Salty Air

It is dark by the sea
and the air smells salty
as only the beach can.
You know instantly when
you're there... your nose can tell
the seaweed scatters the sand
and mussel shells cling
to the rocks... all barnacled
and as you walk the crunch
of shells beneath your feet
is about the only sound you hear
besides the lapping of the tide
sometimes it roars... and
the whitecaps spill over
each other... kissing the shore
and I sit quiet and recollect
our time spent here.. once more


My will to live

In the still pools of my heart
there are no doubts though we're apart
In the dusty sunlight of my eyes
are pictures of you... not goodbyes
In the cool mist of the night
dreams of you fill my sight
In the vivid realization of my love
the heavens approve up above
and still... your love has shone
in the darkness behind my door
I seem to share more and more
in the love that God did give
to keep me going... my will to live


Until then

Tricked my time
once again...
remembering beginnings
and forgetting ends
loves when started
so blissful then
that's what's remembered
until the pain
of losing love comes again...


Down to nothing

I am so moved by all nature
its quiet and its stormy sides
The storm brings out all the
longings and yearnings one
feels... somehow it settles my
soul too and brings me peace
The ocean when stormy is all
excitement and movement... taking
your thoughts and crashing them
about as it does the rocks
and shells... can it wear them
down like it does the ocean's
particles... down to nothing?


Mist of the day

I am trapped within myself
unlike crabs we cannot
change the shell of us
eyes of widespread, dark
hidden behind sunglasses
flanked by the phantom
who is my double
trapped in the mist of the day
cloud enshrouded
beyond I enter... finding
where I left off


A safer road to travel

You rode the contours
of me
following the inroads
finding your way
through the dark tunnels
coming home
terrified of the
foreign country I am
looking for
a safer road to travel


The soul survives

I didn't think I could
endure the sorrow
nor did think I would
see another tomorrow
and yet the soul survives
it's love the keeps it alive


The disposal

I ceremoniously disposed
of all the objects connected
with you... I thought they were

It did not help.

I'm the one that's contaminated.



Someday we are going to be lovers.
Maybe something more.
At the very least, an affair.

What's your name?



Behold the universe

Again she turns towards understanding
the water spirits of her dreams whisper
their angelic songs of truth she hears
take flight, take flight, come see, come see
behold the universe, you're truly free



My mountain of peace
born in remote Gouézec
in another century of dreams
pursued in far off places
Santiago, San Felipe,
from Chile to Manitoba
ending in the Culver City Streets
laid to rest in California...
This bliss I find myself in
all started with you, grandfather
in a far off place in France
lured away by adventure
and far away shores of chance,
thus was born my world of splendor


Road of faith

My heart has opened to a new capacity of feeling and my spirit soars basking in your love and enlightenment.  I realize what has passed before is not a waste but a learning that led me to a new joy of living.  You've given me a new for depth and medium for expression, a world of words that flows freely from pen to paper, from keyboard to blog, like paint to canvas.

I do not worry were you are leading me for I know you know and that is enough.  I feel as the butterfly I see flitting amount the plants or the hawk soaring overhead - so free I could almost fly and glide upon the current of your love.

This is how my spirit now soars and my heart feels enlarged ten-times with the love I have and it overflows into all that is around me.  I am part of all nature and everything that exists.  All things share life giving and receiving from each other.

We can send out our feelings and prayers into the universe and they will join with many others creating an energy of love that will expand and grow, touching the lives of others along the way.  My journey of fear has ceased on this road of faith.



Somewhere in the darkness
when the world has stopped
two strangers will meet
eyes touching... a slight recognition
searching for a remembrance
of once upon a times
each had needed... at one time
to be held in caring arms
comforted... in times of troubles
they may smile a glimmering
of a past known, yes a smile
but will they really... tomorrow?


Friday, July 26, 2013

The wall

There it was suddenly
the word said
and the wall between us
that had not been there before
was raised in a moment
with simply a few words
spoken... thought out loud

We said... goodbye
parting through separate exits
each door leading
to different lives
we had once shared...
the wall remains... still


Love in a mirror

The best slave
does not need to be beaten
she beats herself.
Not with a leather whip,
or with sticks or twigs,
not with a blackjack
or a billy club,
but with the fine whip
of her own tongue
and the subtle beating
of her mind
against her mind.
For who can hate her half as well
as she hates herself?
And who can match the finesse
of her self-abuse?
Years of training
are required for this
twenty years or more
of subtle self-indulgence;
until the subject
thinks herself a queen
and yet a beggar...
both at the same time.
She must doubt herself in
everything but love.
She must choose passionately
and badly.
She must feel lost as a dog
without her master.
She must refer all moral questions
to her mirror.
She must fall in love with a Cossack,
A Hawaiian, or a poet.


Thursday, July 25, 2013

Realm of eternity

Leave your judgments at the gate
see heaven through an angel's eyes
lost in wonder, free from hate
this realm of eternity an endless surprise


Glance down upon him

Glance down upon him, cold and dead
bones protruding, emaciated, eyes filled with pain
no more to shiver nights in his infested bed
he shall not walk among the living dead again
The furnace waits, anticipating heat
unto this end, is that all he deserves
no coffin, no marker, not even a sheet
to cover the bony frame that once held curves
twisted, tortured he lays upon the floor
once he was handsome and proud
a leader among men, he stood out in a crowd
there's nothing left of what he was before
once I held him and laid down at this side
somehow he seems so much smaller,
shrunken up so now that he's died


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The fabric of family

The fabric of family
has grown frayed
I've watched it slowly
unwind, time passing away
the distance grows
time and miles give way
the phone calls too I miss
and the time we had
for a family Christmas
making growing old so bad...


Love is a circle

Love is a circle
encompassing much
like a beam of light
radiating out
it includes all it touches
even at its perimeters
you were the nucleus
of all this...for me
It is not that
I have stopped loving you
it is only that I have
let you free of my circle
now.. to step outside
from its boundaries
so it can no longer
touch you... unless
you choose to...
step back inside



Men become doctors
I think
because they are afraid
of sickness...
this being insecurity
and needles...
fear of being human
and death...
a desire for immortality
running nonstop
to prove themselves
not men... but gods
finding all they have
created... an empty life
sterile, anesthetic
and never quite enough
to satisfy their needs...


Flood Waters

The flood waters
come to cleanse
and wash away
hurtful memories
from yesterday


A running game

You are playing a running game
and I am trying patience
I lay the length of my world
it has been so long since
we were together...
It takes such patience to just wait
to see whether...
you will enter my life again
to wait for a phone call
or to see you is such a strain
I sit here in this room unloved
it seems a life away
no one to comfort me when I cry
I'm all alone today
I realize nothing emotional now
I fight so hard for self control
to keep the flood of memories away
seems to be my immediate goal
I don't want to think of tomorrow
and all the days to come
time left me when you did
as now I am just numb...
There is no change of mood or tone
I am here... here I am... alone


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Mistaken Magic

Almost beyond the point
of being born
I came alive...
Your threads of talk
reached somewhere
beyond level...
I had thought myself
immensely different
distance pacing
beyond me
and the human race...
You with your
mistaken magic
brought me to a realization
of happiness
unknown to me...
you put me into withdrawal
and an aura of loneliness
to enshroud me...
Now I have had to make
the trip alone
I have climbed despair...
to you it might have been
an easy trip...
to me
it was almost
but I did it...


Monday, July 22, 2013

In the garden of time

I am as a flower
opening to the day
rising my petals
toward the sun's warmth
drinking in the morning dew
I perfume the earth
many friends come to visit
to gather what they need
drinking down into
the well of me
I am bright in youth
and slowly fade with time
wilting, curling
adding new lines
many others come and go
in the garden of time
I am colorful
and the winds move me slowly
blowing in freedom
I have set my roots down
deep in the soil
and it nourishes me
for the season that I be
I give the gift... of me


Need never be alone

We all come into this life alone...
and when we depart
it is a business we must do... alone
in between, no matter how long
or brief, is our existence
whatever we make of it
there is so much beauty to find
if only we let it come to us
but mostly people hurry
worry... and speed through... life
if we all just stop periodically
to look around us... we would realize
yes, this is good...
the sun to warm us,
the sea to soothe our rough edges
the rain to wash us clean
books to teach... people to learn from
everything has its own enchantment
and we need never be... alone


Erosion of self

The erosion of self
continues with each
passing year...
these ghostly whispers
within myself


Traded away

Grace and splendor
traded for knowledge,
wisdom and eternity
given away in vanity


Surrender to contemplation

So we sent God packing
forgetting who he was
never to match our imagination
for every ill he's now the cause
as we surrender to contemplation


Finding the right words

The poetess in her silk nightdress
wanders the halls in insomnia
reading, writing, pacing
the room filled with smoke
clouding the words in her mind
she blows them out in rings
then scoops them out of the air
sorting them out on the lace tablecloth
keeping some... recycling others
eating some for nourishment
confusion spills over the pages
don't make it too sweet
or it will be sticky
not too sour or it will be bitchy
the right combination
turns it bittersweet like memories
the clock ticks the hours by
she knows she should sleep
but it, like the right words
eludes her...
screwing up her life with symbols
she writes herself awake
in the morning...


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Song of wisdom

Isis guide my pen
and free my brush
release the force within
a world vibrant and lush
let your song of wisdom begin


Saturday, July 20, 2013


The smell of summer is to me
sweet honeysuckle in the air
yellow honey bees everywhere
loading up with pollen
The sound of summer is to me
crickets singing through the night
birds calling while in flight
and grasshoppers making their own sound
a fresh creek rippling over ground
The colors of summer are to me
almost too hard to describe
there are the blues of the sea tide
all the glorious colors of the flowers
and the tan skin people get
from laying in the sun for hours
There's the white stillness of a hot day
children screeching out at play
kids so glad that there's no school
but this is the loneliest summer I ever knew
for I have spent it without you
and all the beauty I have missed
because there was no one to share it with
Oh, my love, why did you go away
before the beautiful summer days
that were here to share with you
now all the colors of summer are--blue


as our hearts we follow

in the flames of sorrow
comes the redemption
we'll find tomorrow
to love without exception
as our hearts we follow


Counting down the years

The moment of missing you
is gone, along with the tears
it wasn't easy, that's true
counting down the years...


That dumbstruck look

That dumbstruck look
from you who so freely took
when the flames of love's fire
filled your loins with desire
offered nothing in return but bitterness
turning so sour love's sweetness
don't tell me how much you've cried
all me feelings for you have died
so live with the life you've created
I've no use for loneliness and hatred


and I sail the seven seas

My bleeding heart you left me
after putting it to the test
the ebbing tide has saved me
returning... peacefulness
once more the silver waters
the moon's reflected gaze
has opened my eyes to beauty
with the serenity of its waves

It was such a simple happening
the pain slowly giving way
tenderly entered the wonder
of the oceans glorious display
there - barefoot prints on the sand
there - blows a salty breeze
my mind drifts into dreamland
and I sail the seven seas



If God should take from us - today
and carry all time away
would we spend an hour to pray?
or in reverie, a party of gaiety?
wasting time in every way
until we had spent the day?


Stop and listen

Today I'll stop and listen
to voices besides my own
with grace the sun has risen
warming these old bones
to enjoy this summer season
birds singing from treetop homes
nature's glorious musicians
reminding us we're never alone
if we but just stop and listen...


Rhythm and form

Rhythm and form
a force to unite us
safe from the storm
Angel wings do bless
in faith we're transformed


Friday, July 19, 2013

When love is born

When love is born
we blossom
as a mother after childbirth
admiring her creation
forgetting the pain
but when love leaves
the pain comes after
we grow
but the pain survives
for there is no creation
following its childbirth
making us forget
its wound..


Running Away

I'm going to run away from the city
back to nature and the sea
to mountains covered with snow
and things that will set me free
someplace where I can find the sun
and air so clear and clean
where I can explore my soul
and sit away in peace... unseen
beneath the branches of pine so crisp
and wind whipping gently through
watching the forest creatures
and face my thoughts of you


The revival

The Angel of victory
stopped to visit me
lifting me from misery
sending troubles out to sea
reviving me so gloriously


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Take us into eternity

They sit beside us, silently
watching as we mourn
creatures so heavenly
gowns of freedom worn
to take us into eternity


The years we wrestle

As we wrestle the passing years to the ground
so much is lost, yet so much more is found
as imagination takes flight and dreams abound


I the butterfly

In my dreams, I foresee
love, your beloved anatomy
each muscle, every bone
no glorious part left alone
each secret to uncover
come be my dream, be my lover

Each molecule I've scanned, I've read
I've listened to each breath you've said
my sight found you lovely to behold
more exquisite, perfect manifold
in my dreams we soar, we fly
you the flower, I the butterfly



I used to count tears
but I've lost track
over so many years
the tracks left behind
I now proudly wear


Not a soul around

I am always longing
to write you... about so
many things... things I
see and know you would
enjoy.  The bougainvillea all
in bloom in wild magenta's.
It has so many blossoms
that it's flowering over with color.
Seeing the desert at sunset
when it was alive with oranges
of every hue... and the cool
green valley I saw... So
green it was almost blue
and the creek running thru
and all around mountains
alive with trees... pines,
tall and stately; willows
flowing and soft... and
brush all around...
I wanted to just lay in
that meadow and be
absorbed in it all...
There was a wonderful
old oak tree... sturdy,
and strong and powerful,
and you just knew...
very, very old... It looked
over the valley like it's
guardian angel.  I got
the feeling of being so tiny
amongst all this grandeur...
I came across this lake
while riding through
the countryside... In the
middle was this still
island... not attached to
anything... and just
floating around at will
Oh, to be an island...
floating around in the stream
of life.  But my favorite
place, as you know,
is always the sea... something
about it always draws
me.  I found a lovely,
private area you have to
clamber down the rocks to
get to... and it was so
clean and peaceful... the
sand shimmered like ground
glass... the whitecaps
were large and came crashing
in... and not a soul was
there but me... and I felt
so alone.... without you there


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I used to hate the rain

I used to hate the rain
now I find peace in its dampness
tears hide so well in a thunderstorm
cloudy days seem to fit my mood
I want to travel far away
and find a place somewhere
where rain is a daily occurance


Seeking Acceptance

With you I shared my dreams
my thoughts and fears
thinking you would understand
We laid naked together
and joined not our minds
but our bodies... only
My trying to probe the depths of you
wanting to belong... seeking acceptance
and warmth...
Two arms to hold me, briefly
trying to find peace
you were my friend... I yours


Sitting on this pier

I don't want to miss you
I had hoped by now to be
recovered from this thing,
this love for you exclusively.
I thought about you here
sitting on this pier...
while my kids are fishing.
All around you can see hills
to the left of the horizon
with clouds sitting
on them like big feather
pillows... and in front
of me the sand reaches
down to the sea... and
the sea stretches on
endlessly... like me
without you.


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

laughing stars

Like a trumpeter playing a tune
like an artist painting the sky
so our love was born at the ocean
so it was left in the desert to die
look see the sun yawn in the window
tiptoeing up after the dawn
not like the stars laughing at yesterday
today is here... tomorrow is gone


Impossible Crossings

There is no bridge between us
the currents run deep beneath
God did not give you wings
and I cannot fly
some crossings are impossible


Gift of Simplicity

My love was a gift of simplicity
asking no promises in return
childlike in my faith in you
filling you with my poetry
diskloads... of words spoken
only on paper
now I have grown up...


The good times

At the sea
we discovered each other
slowly to unfold to view
as a flower opens to the sun
intermingling our pollens
making commitments
we could not keep
believing them, at the time
as seasons evolve
so does life
constantly changing
seasons come and go
a process of aging
and growing
the past is not to be dwelt on
yesterday is gone
the wind blowing away
memories we do not wiish to keep
remembering only
the good times


Building Sandcastles

I don't think I love you... anymore
at least not in that sense
but I do care still
and would like to take your hand
leading you out of troubled times
the deep waters of which
you wade in still.
I see the dreams you used to have
blowing in the winds
giving up so much of what you were
I would like to help you build again
your sandcastles of hope
and to help you find your way
out of the jungle of webs
entangling, dragging you down
out into the open country
and the freedom of beach waters
to kiss you awake
to find your tomorrows of happiness.


Monday, July 15, 2013

Celluloid Smiles

I have photographs of you
to prove your realness
frozen smile on celluloid
expression never changing
mocking me...
to live forever in a closed
photograph album
hidden in the back of a shelf
not to be opened... again


Why today?

I knew it was time
for our goodbyes
I felt it in the air
saw it in your eyes
but it was too soon
and now the pain
but why


The poem

When the poet's body
makes an angle of 45 degress
with the muse's...
A half-erect muse will
remain in position
when this attitude is adopted
since he cannot slip
out of the poem....


Sunday, July 14, 2013

Cherry Blossoms

I have been touched so many times
in the same place
in my heart, that hides behind my eyes
and shows upon my face.
There have been some lonely times
in my many years
and a few moments of pure joy
so real I was reduced to tears.
And a love to last me quite awhile
forever, I must suppose
for a feeling like this can never die
even alone it only grows.
I know you have obligations, and I
know that I do too
but what about to each other
and my love for you?
I understand, I say it doesn't matter
there are mountains still
there are cherry blossoms where I had a heart
and a chasm only one can fill...


Saturday, July 13, 2013

The venom of our past haunts me

The venom of our past haunts me
finding its way to me across miles
and through all of these years
some things time doesn't heal


They'll deliver us

The roots are deep
centuries old too
all those souls to keep
in heaven so blue
in passing some weep
but angels are true
protecting the weak
they'll deliver us when due


When the angels come

I don't believe in hell.  I don't believe we are tortured for eternity in fire or locked for eternity in ice. We make our own hell here on earth, in our minds and in the prisons of our hearts, and it is to escape this hell and our howling demons that the angels come... to tell us we have freedom, that we are not supposed to live in terror and hate.



Your palace pandemonium
your reign my chaos
I lost my equilibrium
when our love was lost


In another game

In another life
in another game
I'd ask for a new hand
a deck with no jesters
playing the queen of hearts
In another life
in another game
I'd ask for a different start


Passing time away

I raft down a river
these raging waters
of passing time...
clouds dark and gray
skies of gold and silver
enrich sons and daughters
our lives so entwined
passing time away...


Sometimes and Always

Do I have multiple orgasms?
Does the sun shine?
Does the moon glow?
Did you care?
Do I cry?
Is there a thing called happiness?
Did you nourish me?
Is there a God?
Do I believe in you?
Will I love you?
Does the earth turn?
Do rivers flow?
Are you real?
Is this how I feel?


Friday, July 12, 2013

My final adventure

The unused flour
for unmade cakes
I threw that out today

The fancy china
and crystal glasses
the family silver too

I've lasted too long
all my family is gone
my children too

I'm but a ghost now
locked in a little room
looked after by strangers

All but forgotten
by any family that remains
yearning for my final adventure


Fish in a black sea

In piles I stack
my books of memories
to bring better days back
like fish in a black sea
those days fade and retract....


Complete and Whole

We aspire to be free
released from bondage
the chains of human folly
to truly open our eyes and see
no longer held hostage
but complete, living wholly


Spinning in wisdom

The world spins in wisdom
cleansed by fire and water
this earth protector of life


Off Stroke

I cannot say with words
what my touch used to say
I had no need to speak them
then... Silence was enough
and your closeness...
How many people have traveled
this road... Missing life and love
by a simple heartbeat... off stroke


Bloodless ghost

You, my bloodless ghost
of regret, set me free
Let loose the chains
of what should have been
so I can put the past behind me
I don't want to walk edges again
You, my bloodless ghost
haunt another, set me free


My Void

Words fail me
in needed moments
beyond expression
are the feelings
that come and go
in flashes of time
so uncertain
so unkind
questioning truth
with each trick
of the mind...
while blankly
I stare out
from my void


Blank Sheets

Our lives, pulp
of days gone by
fading news, fading lives
before memories filled
sheets once blank
now fade too
these memories go
sheets gone blank
and life becomes
barren, once again


Beyond Forgetting

There are too many
to list the dead
Beyond forgetting
they fill my head


Thursday, July 11, 2013


The impossible man
The man with the ebony penis ten feet tall
The man of pentelikon marble
The man with the veined bronze fig leaf which comes unhinged
The man who's afraid to get pregnant
The man who screws in his socks
The man who screws in his glasses
The man who screws in his sunglasses
The man who gets married a virgin
The man who married virgin
The man who wilts out of guilt
The man who adores his mother
The man who makes it with fruit
The husband who never has time
The husband who would rather have power
The poet who'd rather have boys
The conductor who loves his baton
The analyst who writes "poems"
All these Adonises
All these respected gents
Those descended
and those undescended
Will drive me out of my skull
sooner or later...


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The curse of touch

I could contain myself once
but now that we have touched
what am I to do now?
Am I to stagnate myself?
Withdraw from the world
that revolved around you
once we had touched?
My silence doesn't frighten you
but my words did...
You touched me
where no one else had dared
but I love yous
you couldn't seem to bear.
The more freedom I acted with
the more you withdrew from me
after we had touched...
You never really wanted
to know... me... as a person
you just wanted to touch me...
Now I have changed
and you can't touch me


Face the world

all tests of faith
to give us strength
to face the world
in full....


Words are God's tools

God is the creator of the word and of languages that were giving to us to express the word.  When we speak in faith we speak in truth.

We we let the ego control what we we speak then it is not from the spirit or the heart, but only of the mind.  Be conscious of what you say.

Look within to know from where the words arise.  Are they from faith and love and therefore good or are we letting the ego control our tongue and thoughts which allows them to cause hurt to another?

Be in truth with yourself.  Examine the words before you speak and swallow those that are not the results of spirit, truth, and love.

It is better to leave an unkindness unsaid.  Think before you speak is truly God's wisdom and reminds us to examine our hearts before we open our mouths.

It is better to leave a hurtful word unsaid rather than live with regret.  Truth spoken in love will have no sharp edges to wound.

Faith helps us to see the difference.  For through it God enlightens us and helps us to see the loving thoughts we wish to convey and He helps us form them into words spoken and released into the universe where they echo back to us.

We can think not only "what would Jesus do?", but in the circumstances "what would Jesus say?" and let our faith and love and His truth guide us in our spoken words.

Do not speak until you understand the whole truth behind every situation or you will be expressing a lie unknowingly.

The ego is always in a rush to state an opinion.  Love withholds judgement and lets truth unfold in time, allow us to see the big picture.

Not everything is about us and we don't need to have an opinion about everything, especially one without understanding.  Take a breath, listen and learn.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Odd moments

In odd moments
your name recedes
into the vacuum
of fading memory,
so please, please
forgive me
for being lost
and staring blankly


The connection

My solitude
connecting me
to the heavens
The stars
piecing my dreams
In this perfect


I would have liked that

You only came to me...
when you felt rejected by all others
you just came in,
and told me your problems...
Always concerned with someone else
and then you would use me...
as a balm to soothe your hurts
and when you felt like a man again
off you would go
Why didn't you ever come to me,
when you felt good?
To share your happy times with...
I would have liked that.


Monday, July 8, 2013

Pushing emptiness

I lie awake often and think
about you... the loss of you
will I live this loss forever?
Every night, every day of my
life?... Is there no way to
find peace except to fill up
all the minutes crowding
my mind with thoughts... to
push the emptiness of it back
... to keep from facing it
It engulfs me or lays waiting
on the outskirts of my...
consciousness as the mood
of me dictates... close then
far away, close then far away...


Sunday, July 7, 2013

Dark Angel

Strange visitations
messages from serpent's
tongue, in hesitation
a dark angel repents


Souls of the dead

Souls of the dead
sing hymns beneath
the darkened skies
waiting for the stars
to light the way
taking them to heaven
as angels come from afar


Awaiting our confessions

In the sixth heaven
there sits a great throne
in shadowed recession
an angel of death moans
awaiting our confessions


Run astray

Your psalms tell of angels
sent to light the way
should we wander from the flock
and sadly run astray


On the winds

Be still
hear the voice
of God
this solitude
carries it
on the winds


It's out there

Monks, hermits, shaman
all upon the trail...
seeking truth
our paths do cross
it's out there somewhere


Connecting Dots

Connected to life
moving through time
dreams are the dots
that shine in the sky


A beggar's feast

I was a beggar at love's table
gathering scraps as I was able
sweet nectar for my lips
my feast, my desert, my delight
each morsel a banquet to my sight
substance feed my fingertips

At the same dinner, I the guest
unwelcomed, unwanted table pest
sitting under, down below
The beggar, if she were welcomed now
if my thirst you should quince somehow
endless delight to you I'd show


Just to be your lady

I'd rather be your mistress
and have the scraps of your life

Than to be someone else's
loving, dutiful wife

I'd rather have just dreams of you
for the rest of my tomorrows

Than the reality of any other
I'll give up joy for sorrow

Just to be your lady...


Saturday, July 6, 2013

To see the sun

My love for you
has shadowed the sun
long enough.
The thought of living
without you
doesn't leave me in anguish
I am not an object
for your concern
I can survive quite well
Independence is my goal.
Its attainment my sun


Friday, July 5, 2013

Release Regret

Regret is such a terminal word for it implies being stuck in a limbo we cannot free ourselves from.  But oh, we can.  We can relive those moments that have left us with inner pain.  The regrets of things done wrong, the dream that died, the words that were never spoken, the love we withheld or that was withheld from us.

All those regrets we have held in, that have held us back, we can relive and forgive.  If we cannot share them with the person who has caused us to regret we can share it with God.

Open up your heart to Him and write it all down.  Let it come pouring out of your heart and onto the paper and if a few tears fall as well, that's okay.

Let the despair, hurt, anger, resentments, blame, guilt all speak out.  Whatever you feel, whatever you regret doing or not doing, saying or not saying, let it out, and let it cleanse your spirit.

Dear God I am so sorry that... and especially that I have let it fester within me for years.  Holding me back from achieving my greatest potential.  And when you are through let God answer.

What would you want God to say to you?  That He is sorry all this happened, that it wasn't meant to be this way?  That the Divine loves you unconditionally, that you can forgive those what hurt you or that you yourself have caused any pain to and that He forgives you?

He asks you to forgive yourself.  Write down every feeling thing our loving Father would tell you, his child.  Let it come pouring out too.  And when you read how much God truly loves you, you will weep, and be cleansed.

Finally you will be able to release the regret that have been holding you back one by one, as if a weight has been lifted gradually.  And you will realize more love than you have ever known.


Snake Dance

I sat on the cocking stool
a buffoon in clown's clothing
laughter raised around me
echoing down the halls
the serpent they set after me
looking me eye to eye
Cockatrice said I
cocksure said he?
He coerced me to slither
down on the ground
belly flat in the dirt
I rattled my tail
in warning
perception is very bad
from this point of view
We performed our snake dance
for the crowd of onlookers
Cleopatra couldn't have done better...


Detour in the road

What we had in common
was the attraction of opposites
you the night, me the day
when I ran hot, you ran cold
and we parted ways
but not before I got frostbite
along my detour in the road


Separateness of the we

This constant ache in me
reminds me that I'm still here
and somehow it becomes
...more bearable
or I just became accustomed to it
(I don't know which)
I'll know that I'm getting there
...step by step... when I start
climbing out of this cocoon
I've created to insulate me
against the pain
I've existed of course
but I've ceased to live
since you said your goodbyes
you final
My whole being is in revolt
against this separateness...
of the we... of us two
How can it go back to
just me...just you?
My heart is buried
under the weight of it all
I feel like a cripple,
which part of me is missing?
Must I limp through life
not whole...broken
What kind of future is there
for an...empty vessel?


Thursday, July 4, 2013

Today we celebrate a myth

Today we celebrate a myth
one in which freedom is still alive
our drunken stupor blinds us
we ignore the chains of government
buying the lies of security
that which we hold so sacred
and celebrate today
we freely gave away
and this we sadly
just don't see
watching the fireworks explode...


Magnetic Limbo

Your magnetism draws me
back to you over and over
I'm unable to run for cover
in a limbo, unable to break free


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Singles Bars

The music's blaring out
while bodies sway
and thump around
to the beat
loudly trumpeted through
making the walls bounce
in time
to each crescendo
people softly visible
through the smokey haze
searching... always searching
for new or old contacts
a possible bed partner
for later
and the booze drowns
and the music plays
the smoke doesn't rise
but the body temperatures do
banging, clanging,
chumping, throbbing
dancers keep weaving
bobbing to the music
pretending intimacy
they wish they had
singles bars
are such lonely


The Seraph does sing

Sailing on six wings
the Seraph does sing
protector of the throne
servant of the king
Isaiah lead me home
to the salvation you've seen...


Twixt heaven and hell

If love is really a gift from heaven
from God himself they say
binding two unsuspecting souls
possessing them as they lay
yet in another's arms and belonging
by man's laws and rules to one
who is not beloved...wife or husband
it doesn't matter for love follows none
of man's created
comes when least aware to dwell
within your heart and soul and
mind...twixt heaven and hell
fighting to support what man
says is right while all your being
turns to the one God says is right
for you...and in your dreams seeing
this loved soul, enveloping your
thoughts more and more...Love
knows no reasoning, trembling limb
let me accept this gift from above
and bind our hearts as one
thy will...not done


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

This heavy day

This heavy day
so draining on me
slowly slips away
its passing sets me free


A trip for you

I traveled a thousand miles
by land and by air
just to see you smile
and to tell you I care...


Her conquest

She said yes
in the foolishness of youth
ending her love quest
blinded to the truth
she'd change her conquest
surely things would improve
he wasn't always so grotesque
she not always battered and bruised



My dreams vanished
they'd succumbed to drought
leaving me alone and famished
in a dark forest of doubt
a love gone, a heart malnourished


A passing generation

My generation is fading away
we lose a few more each day
until the last of us is history
passing from the world's memory


Guiding Angel

Binding limits no more
guiding angel come to me
give me heaven to explore
guiding angel set me free


How delicious it is

How delicious it is...
this excitement of all
my being...whenever
I am near you
and yet I feel...
perfectly at ease
with you...comfortable
in fact...the familiarity
that has occurred between
us only heightened this
stimulating anticipation
I feel in your presence
but at the same time
a special togetherness
is ever present...not like
an old shoe...but certainly
not a squeezing new feeling
either...I feel no pressure
on your part...It's a
mutual joining of...
perceptions...In the
cool darkness of the night
...I remember it still


Monday, July 1, 2013


On angel's wings
you send to me
a confirmation
a loving sign
that I'm where
I need to be....


The rain

There is something magnificent
about the peaceful
It reminds me of
fireplaces, warm and cozy...
hot chocolate...
soft music...
and you...