Thursday, January 31, 2013

Celestial Melodies

the cosmic dance
to celestial melodies

free form within
patterns of precise

The painting I know
so well.  The canvas
I want to learn.

and perhaps
the artist.

and possibly


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Regrets mine alone

Fading words,
unsent letters,
sit silent...
you're gone,
our past unmended,
perhaps you'll
rest in peace...
regrets mine alone,


Yesterdays and Tomorrows

Each breath of joy and sorrow,
fills my life, along my journey,
of yesterdays and tomorrows


each moment

unpremeditated passion,
sadness so pure,
complete smile,
clean pain,
joy untainted

each moment
fully felt...

by the one
only a moment before


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Finding my peace

As I walked upon the sand
on a cold winter day
I came upon a peacefulness
watching the water play
running out, coming back
the cares gone from my face
it showed me just how small am I
compared to this ocean place
I said good morning to the day
as the sun rose in the sky
it came to warm the waters
I breathed a relieving sigh
in tiredness I had come
and drove down here to the beach
my long search had ended
peace at last was within reach
I've wandered through a lifetime
searching far and wide
longing to find the simpleness
found at the oceanside
I hadn't found it in city streets
or in crowded busy stores
in country places too I had looked
I found it here at the seashore
my heart has been awakened
as if it found its own daylight
I run and lay here all the day
and stay here clear till night
I sit upon the rock pilings
and watch the ocean flow
lapping around my dangling feet
I wish I had found this long ago


Love plans

I know our
time together
is no more

Oh why do
come to mind
that call you back?

Why do I plan
that include

Why do I
with love
I have felt
only since
you were


Monday, January 28, 2013

Aged Musings

The way I learned how to swim was by being thrown into the deep end of a pool.  Sure, there was a bit of panic, but it worked.  I realized that by moving around my arms and legs I wasn't sinking.  A valuable lession I've carried with me for decades.

So, to follow that tradition, I've dived into epublishing with Aged Musings, for sale (free until this Friday) on Amazon Kindle.

Is it perfect?  No!  There are some minor formatting issues that I need to sort out.

That being said, I'm excited, and hope to learn much from this.

Thanks to all the folks who follow my blog for the support and encouragement.  You were the one's who helped push me into the deep end of the publishing pool.


A destination of curves

With purpose we hit the road,
a destination of curves,
carrying the heavy load,
that fate had to serve...


Cooking and waiting

In my window I sit
framed by its shape
watching the world passing by
waiting to be kissed awake
I know I'm not sleeping beauty
still someone may find
me not too badly looking
of course he may be blind
or else he'll like my cooking


Sunday, January 27, 2013

Then love still is

I asked God
to help me forget you
He said, I gave you love
Why do you weep now?
I said he is gone
He said, is your heart gone?
Your nerve endings?
Your senses?
I said, of course not
He said, then love still is


Saturday, January 26, 2013


So, I've been working on a short epub.  I  did all the work in an html editor, and all seemed fine until I rendered out to a mobi file and used to Kindle preview software to  see what it would look like on various devices.  Well, for most devices it seems fine, but not for all.

Back to the drawing board it seems... I might just have to add CSS to the project and see if that solves some of the formatting problems.


Grave of dreams

You, a promise
You, a vice
the shallow
grave of dreams...


The need

the need you
still remains.

but less and less
you seem the way
to fill that need.

I am.

Friday, January 25, 2013


Endless chatter
not news
just noise
drones on
capitalizing on what
it destroys
a jackhammer
to society



Sitting around
our yesterdays
the sun to warm
Planting my roses
to bloom in the tomorrows
you won't share


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Stop and go

I write only
until I cry,
which is why
so few poems
this month
have been



So they tell me

one thing I forgot

after the
pain of parting
comes the
happiness of healing.



or so they tell me


Wednesday, January 23, 2013


the layers I have put
around the pain of
your going are thin.

I walk softly through
life, adding thickness
each day.

a thought or a feeling
of you cracks the surface.

a call to you
shatters it all.

I spend that night in death

and spin the first
layer of life
with the sunrise.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Clear Water

The muddy waters are clear now...
The river reflects the day,
and hears my silent vow,
I've found my way...


Should we listen

The spirit within
guides us
should we listen
and trust



Grief is a quiet thing
Deadly in repose.
A raging horror, a thunder of abuse

Tearing all that one has ever loved.

Fear-ridden and misunderstood...
Ceasing a moment, and through the years
Returning... to destroy.

To rage,
To curse all that is happy
or contented
or trusting.

To threaten every beauty that is true.

it's a quiet thing.


Monday, January 21, 2013

Paid Up

My purse is empty,
my debts are all paid,
time to be on my way...


His Silence, Damn

He still wears the glass skin of childhood
so smooth to the touch.
Under his hands, the stones turn to mirrors,
his eyes are knives.

Who froze the ground to his feet?
Who locked his mouth into an horizon?
Why does the sun set when we touch?

I look for the lines between silences,
he looks only for the silences.

Cram truth under his tongue.
Open him as if for surgery.
Let the red knife love slide in,
and then just twist it,
a little!


Sunday, January 20, 2013


come to mind
In quiet moments
My camera
Life and time
of this journey


Time's tide

We sat, grown quiet in the name of love;
we saw the last embers of daylight die,
and in the trembling blue-green of the sky,
a moon, worn as if it had been a shell,
washed by time's waters as they rose and fell
about the stars to break in days and years....


Ours, use it

Life's a pretty precious and wonderful thing.  You can't sin down and let it lay around you.  You have to plunge into it, you have to dive through it!  And you can't save it, you can't store it you; you can't horde it, you've got to use it.  The more you use it, the more you have.... that's the miracle of it!


Love and Loniness

It's a rainy night
when the wind beats at your door
like a man who has turned away from you.

He comes back trailing leaves and branches
He comes back in a shower of earth
He comes back with blades of grass
still clinging to his hair.

No matter how hard he holds you
He is still elsewhere
making love to another...

No matter how hard you hold him
You are still

Your bodies slide together
like wet grass blades
You cling and stop the raindrops
with your tongues.

Later you rise
and pick the nettles from your hair
you take the leaves for clothing.

Your loneliness
is a small gray hole in the rain.
You rise and go knocking
at his locked front door
where his heart is supposed to be....


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Give you too

your gift
in going
too bad
I couldn't
give you
the same


Joy to share

The world is good

I feel whole & directed

sort of...

Touch my joy with me.

I cannot keep
my smiles
in single file.


Seeing not me

Mirrored image
you are not me
reflected there
framed in glass


Friday, January 18, 2013

We have the power

How often do you tell others what a good job they are doing?  To give praise instead of just expectations?  To want the best for them even if what they want is not what you want?

How often do you give yourself the gift of forgiveness that you release yourself to feel the full joy of life without constraints?

Too often we hold on to the past and it contaminates the future as well as the present.  Passing the legacy of pain we have felt on to others who don't deserve it any more than we did.

Release the negativity and resentments that are keeping you bonded to a painful experience.  You are the gate keeper of your own life.  You can keep it locked into the past by harboring within you all the old angers, thus keeping them alive, or you can throw open the doors to release them and allow the happiness and healing you deserve to enter.

It is your choice.  Be in pain or be at peace.  We always have the power to choose and to choose again.  That is what life and free choice are all about.

We can ask God for his divine help in cleansing our spirit of all the unwanted refuse we have been carrying within us, so that we can fly with the angels spiritually and be open to all the good He wants to send into our life.

No one has any power over us that we don't give them ultimately, and we can take it back through forgiveness at any time.  We can be in control if we choose to be.  That does not mean life will always be smooth, but that we have the power to decide how we will react in any given situation.

Peace is such a precious commodity.  It is worth the cleansing it takes to achieve it.  What we believe is what we receive.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

In forgetting you

The storm within
has nearly passed
in forgetting you


Searching for mojo

We just had to go
down that long dusty road
in search of our mojo


Own your life

I am a work of art in progress.  I am constantly becoming a new me.  I am not the person I was a year ago, for she has grown, developed, made new choices, met new people, evolved, become more aware, changed her life style and will continue to grow by choice.

Life is not stagnant.  We outgrow the sky child, the awkward teenager, the new bride, the single parent, struggling.  I have lived these lifetimes and more.  Life always offers us more and there are many more discoveries yet to come.

New adventures await daily.  Life is not just a challenge, it is an adventure and we are the explorers, enjoy the process.  Each day is a new beginning, greet it with anticipation for the secrets that will be revealed to us this day.  It will not come again, so don't rush through it, but savor it instead.

Whatever conditions develop as the day progresses, these are our experiences, given to us to explore, to learn from, to grow through, to laugh or cry with.  Be aware of the gifts of growth they bring.

Recognize the whole self you are and your potential.  You are not a body and mind only but a spirit, an essence, a part of all life.  Whatever we encounter contributes to our evolution, to our continuing change.

How we choose to react to what occurs in our life, and how we choose to perceive the events of our life make a great deal of difference in our development.  Doesn't it make sense to do so in greater awareness?  With more joy?  To be an active participant?

We cannot always control what will happen, but we can choose to control how we react.  We needn't wait to start living when all our perceived priorities have been fulfilled, that may never happen.  While we're waiting, life is happening in the now.  More money, time, better conditions are not going to change that.  It only makes us miss the best we have while we are waiting for more.

Life is not to postpone, but to own.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The greatest gift

In being love
I am filled full.

In loving
I am fulfilled.

The greatest gift
is to fill a need



Balanced against
the light of loving and truth
is the experience learned
to old age from youth


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

He understands

missing your love
with God so
close at hand...

it seems somehow
a sacrilege...

but I think
He understands.


you fell to winter

the last day of my
loving you is
at hand.

in hand,
a pen, writing one of
the last poems
exclusively yours.

my pain fades,
as my love does,
as autumn did.

winter is too intense
a season to miss
someone in.

the last leaf
fell today.

the first snow
falls tonight.


No triumph

I smashed a hornets nest today
and felt like I've conquered the world.
Spraying it first with water
shot through the power of a nozzle
standing there in fear.
Shooting at them with the hose
my defense... as the soared down
and finally getting the wet... soppy
thing down.... splat
I felt a moment of elation
and saw to it that each wet
crawling... mother hornet... or
are they fathers too? ... was killed
and then attacked each larvae
stomping... wiping out all
Looking at the mess I had created
I suddenly felt sick...
The big battle was over... me a
wet mess... feeling no triumph
any more....


Monday, January 14, 2013

All I could do was pray

Angels showed me the way,
and brought me light to see,
when all I could do was pray


Heaven our destiny

I believe we are free,
in spirit and soul,
heaven our destiny,
love our goal


My bittersweet beach

The beach grass grows in tufts
stuck deep within the sand
around the water pool it clings
bedding down as far as it can
it's quiet here in the jetty
a limpid pool does play
I walk up further down the beach
quite far beyond the bay...
I like the excitement of the surf
as it beats upon the shore
it echoes in your ears each time
as it rushes in once more
I walk upon the weathered rocks
their green beard floating out to sea
and coming back to the barnacles
to greet each one... and me
I bide awhile here at the beach
picking up driftwood as I walk along
listening to the sound of the sea
sing its enchanting water song
I dream I am the sea queen
and guard my bittersweet beach
a place for one where once was two
and all's within my reach


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Choose the light

Life is an existence that we chose to experience for our own understanding and spiritual growth.  We choose the who, what, when, whys and where of this experience, our perceptions and all the possibilities we may attain in greater spiritual understanding.

Unfortunately, once we inhabit the physical we forget the higher reasoning that brought us here.  So often we flounder in the darkness seeking.  We experience fear on a physical level, forgetting that we have the power, all along, to achieve the fruits of our labor, which is love.

We see this life as the only reality, which it is for now only.  It is an illusion our soul has chosen to enter for our greater spiritual well-being.  Through experiencing life our spiritual self acquires a greater understanding of all things.

We can choose or not chose to come again into the physical for the sake of the evolution of the soul.  Our natural existence is in the light where we understand and see all things.

We are on either plane, in spirit, part of all that is.  We are never truly separate from the divine.  But here we have a chance to make a difference in the evolution of the world for all of us are here, more or less, for that greater purpose.

It is of such importance that God the Father sent his only son into this world and so it is written into eternity.  We in our human form cannot see the greater purpose of this life.  That is why we need faith to hear prayers, to seek truth, love to blossom, and acceptance to give in God's name that we may achieve the tasks that we have come to fulfill.

This is a time of awareness, where we have the possibility to bring the world to greater light.  The Devil knows this and struggles to send much evil into the world.  We only need in faith, to keep our eyes on the light, even in darkness, to overcome, and to see the dawning of peace, and the divine meaning of it all.


Saturday, January 12, 2013


As poetry is an extension of vision,
and music an extension of hearing,
we meld these into tangible expressions,
that serve to feed our imaginations....


Already there

Sometimes you have
not even begun
to speak....
and I am
the end of what
you're saying...


It's a white world

I wake up to a white, white world again. Today there is a wind that tries to reach into your bones and freeze the marrow. But the overwhelming feeling is of the beauty I see: The icicles clinging to the branches like crystal Christmas ornaments with white patches of snow in small and large groupings.

The snow has frozen because of a drop in temperature so each step you take resounds with a crackling echo. The sky, now gray, is filling with a power soon to be unleashed on the hills, the trees, the roofs, the countryside and the roads as a shroud of wonderful winter whiteness.

The birds and squirrels are now coming closer to the house to find food. Out my front door I can watch the small brown squirrel balanced perfectly on his hind legs, his front paws cupped to his face as he cracks open endless sunflower seeds. The many variety of birds hare hopping along the deck picking up seeds as they fall pan as Mr. Squirrel searches for those seeds that have not already been shelled. He can be quite messy about it.

My feet are warm in my boots and double stockings and my long johns hugging my body like a second skin, under my outerwear helps insulate me against the cold. It is too beautiful to stay a prisoner to the indoors but good to be out in the elements experiencing all seasons and the unique beauty each holds. Each day is like a story unfolding, not in words but in beauty, scene by scene.

Clouds part and give us glimpses of sky or sun. At other times they hang heavy, pregnant with anticipation of what is to be releases from the heavens to earth. The flakes sparkling like angel dust as they descend. Only a power of greatness could create such intricate beauty, such a variety of splendor from gold and russet leaves, blowing in the wind, to rain drops falling like God’s tears to allow the Earth a sweet drink and in the winter, where those of us blessed enough to live, a serene quiet whiteness. Hills of pines and oaks and the footprints left in the snow, memories of those who pass through this life.


Special delivery

Angels carrying messages
that they deliver in dreams
to answer our prayers
and bring about miracles


Faith is rewarded in love

I believe that God provides for us in whatever manner we need.  He knows what is best for us and when we put our needs in God's hands without restrictions or reservations, but in faith He always works miracles in our lives.

God has a great sense of humor and when He tells you, in that little inner voice, that you have enough sometimes He means more than enough.

The abundance I have received from God sometimes overwhelms me.  When He guides me to share it, I wish to do it with an open heart and in the spirit of joy and gratitude that others may know that God loves them too and that it is not supplied from me but through me from God.

I know God has a plan for me and work for me to do and will make it all clear in his own time frame.  In the meantime I am to do the best I can on the course He has set me on, gaining knowledge through study and using it in the manner as yet to be revealed.

God loves mysteries and often chooses to reveal things in increments.  Only as much as we need to know.  Thus we follow in faith and gratitude for the gifts of today, the blessings we experience, and for the joy we can bring into the lives of others.

I can only encourage others not only to believe but to leave things in God's hands for who loves us more and wants the very best for us but God himself.

Life is full of small miracles.  Each day itself is a beautiful gift to see and experience.  To know the love of others and to be able to share in that love is a gift.  To take the time for friends and family as well as strangers is a gift.

To be surrounded by God's angels, t feel their presence and their message of God's love is a precious gift.  Faith is the foundation of God's abundance.  Our faith is fulfilled in his love.


Friday, January 11, 2013

Like a good soldier

I am the house of lovelessness
I have cursed you often enough
for what I have created myself
you didn't ask me to love you
and I realize all of this
but it doesn't help at all
the silences between my thoughts
are poems written in the wind
I feel more lost than I ever thought possible
abandoned in this lonely world
I have prayed to stop loving you
you'd think God was deaf
the way he's responded
nothing has lessened
in my feelings for you
I feel punished and don't know
what I did so wrong to cause it all
maybe in another life
I'm paying now for yesterday's deeds
could I have been your wife then
and you sent in a dream to kiss my breast
a flicking tongue beneath the skin
I hate myself for this one weakness
You the doctor playing God
or is it the other way around
operated on me and cut out my soul
leaving emptiness behind
and a bleeding, gaping wound
but like a good soldier
I'll keep up the fight
until death demises me
Someone lied when they said
time heals all wounds
some sores keep growing and spreading
widening the gape of the hurt...
Insomnia is my nightly companion
and tranquilizers my daily crutch
and loneliness an emptiness
to fill the void of my soullessness....


Life becomes more

Life is a journey not only externally but internally for it is a spiritual learning of the lessons we came here to learn through our physical and mental and emotional experiences.

We have brought with us the blueprints we mapped out and our agenda for spiritual growth we desire to attain in this lifetime.

We may not remember the why for which we are here but it is encoded in our cells and remembered in the personality we have become.

If we take time to quiet ourselves we can be in touch with that inner spirit and become more aware of the why we are drawn to certain things and certain people.

We can seek guidance from our spirit guides to help us open ourselves to a greater understanding.  There is a purpose to our experiences and that is to learn.

The more aware we are, the more open we are, the more attuned we are to understand the lessons and grow from them thereby accelerating our spirituality in this lifetime.

To be aware so that when we react to a situation we can do it in the most loving way possible.  That we may be grateful for even the negative in our life for the growth potential it contains.

When we are in a state of spiritual awareness we look for the lessons in all things.  We access them for the growth potential we can receive from them and then we release them without harbouring resentments, anger, fear, or other negativity for their experience but see the blessings they inadvertently held instead.

When we seek Divine guidance we are given a greater understanding of life.  The material becomes less of a center for our energy as we realize God will provide so that we may use our consciousness in a seeking to a higher spiritual attainment.

Life becomes more than we imagined, with God.


Thursday, January 10, 2013

I have no identity

I have no identity
for I take the form
of what I see and feel
fresh grass... new morn
I have been the dawn
and been the sea...
all things I feel
become part of me
I am a storehouse of vision
an empty shell to fill
always changing....
and always will


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

As the past is lost

I walk through the valley of decline
clinging to memories of happy times
but even those slip from my mind


Cling to nothing

To love is not enough
to hold on to...
when there's no one there
with you...


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Oh, that wicked son

Gail's world stopped spinning,
she'd couldn't find her remote,
and now she was missing her shows...
Convinced her son was behind this,
she reached for the phone to call him...
Staring at the blank TV screen,
fighting to remember why she held the phone...
Perhaps some tea would calm her,
rising from the couch,
phone still in hand,
the remote fell from her lap....
"Oh, that wicked son", she whispered


Season for the heart

Autumn came and blew my love away
I knew it was too good to last
somehow it could not stay
Winter came and froze my heart
impairing its own beat
I cried along, strange to be apart
Spring came, I didn't unthaw
my eyes asleep... unseeing
I believe in truth they never saw
sitting alone here by the sea
I knew not you loved
but was truly, only me...


Monday, January 7, 2013

Still Moments

Still moments
To collect my thoughts
So few and far between


Reap with gratitude

A friend is an answer to all your needs.
He is a harvest you have sown with
Love and now reap with gratitude.

He is all warmth and comfort, like
a fire burning on the hearth.  My friend
I go to in hunger and am given peace
of soul and mind.

When he is silent I still listen
to the message written in his heart.
We talk with our eyes, and expressions,
and touch, there is no need for words.

In friendship all thoughts, expectations
and desires of one are known to the other,
for he cares.  I can dare to be silent
with him and he doesn't rebuke me.

When we truly have a friend and are parted
from him, we grieve.  For all that we loved
in him is more clearly defined in his absence.

A friend loved gives us purpose of life.  I
ask only that he be himself and allow me to
be myself without fear of rejection.

If in friendship we ask only to fill our
needs without thought to the other that
is not true love.  But if in answering his needs
I benefit... My joy is boundless.

To receive from friendship one must give what he
himself needs most.  It is like the sea, what the tide
carries off it also brings back to the shore. 

It is constant, always returning.  At times
it floods us with its depth and then ebbs off
before we feel smothered in its waves.

As my friend... he fills my need but leaves me
my emptiness... to find my own way.


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Our frozen deline

In the seasons of life,
winter is our frozen decline


So true our fears

You carried the monkey for too many years,
never heeding our warning or seeing our tears,
and now you're gone, so true our fears...


How alone is alone?

Having loved you,
and known you
so deeply intimate
as I have...
can I ever feel
for another
as I have for you?
For I believed it was more
than just body into body
but soul touching soul.
It meant so much more to me
that just surface satisfaction.
As you said... I gave you everything
but my life...
and you held me
in your open hand
and blew me away.
Lady bug, Lady bug
fly away home...
Please... don't return.
And now all I feel is this hollow chasm
that I think couldn't be filled
by the total world's population
that is how alone... is ALONE.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Truth, forgotten

Confused, I repeat myself
hoping thoughts sort themselves out
and reveal some long lost truth
there all along, but forgotten


Love just is

What is love about?  Is it a necessity we think we need to fulfill us or an acceptance of our own being?  How can we learn to love others unconditionally until we learn to love ourselves that way?

First we must learn to acknowledge that we were created only in love because it is the Divine that gave us life and purpose and He is pure unconditional love.

Unfathomable, endless, without boundaries or restrictions for who we are, without modifications.  Why do we have such difficulty accepting that?

How we accept that ability to be loved unconditionally affects the relationships se develop in life.  Always judging ourselves or others as worthy or unworthy.  God's love just is.  It just exists without the necessity of our needing to earn it, pay for it, or accomplish something.

In the quiet moments, when we can hear the voice of our soul, we know that this is true, and that truly love just is.


No more dusty journals

My blog is my sounding board,
I use it to flesh out ideas,
to motivate me to write.

The technology behind this is a blessing.

Gone are my days of letting journals collect dust.


Mistakes or Miracles

Sometimes what we see as a mistake is a miracle in disguise.  The disruption that caused you to leave late only to later learn that you missed being right in the middle of an accident, which is where you would have been if you had left on time.

You try to call someone and misdial reaching a loved one who was thinking of you but misplaced your phone number.

You get off at the wrong exit and find a store that contains something you have been looking for for a very long time.

Sometimes mistakes are merely synchronicity in action.  Instead of getting upset look for the message or the miracle that brought you to right were you need to be.  Getting the right information or material that you needed.  There are no accidents in these events.  The are meant to protect or aid us in some way. To be where we need to be.

Sometimes in life we think we are not making enough progress in our personal, financial, or our professional goals.  Know you are always where you need to be to learn what you need to learn, to meet the people who are on parallel paths with you and to grow in the spirit each step of the way.

If we hurry too much we are in danger of missing something or being where fate would not have us be.  When we allow ourselves to be awakened to life's daily events, to be aware and to have a sense of gratitude, life takes on a greater meaning.

Awareness of our blessings helps open our eyes to all the small miracles that take place in our lives that we would otherwise forget and would overlook the pattern that is God's hand guiding us on the path.

Be open to the changes He wants to bring.  The protection and love He sends us in many disguises including the stranger who might be an angel sent to look over us.


Leave it behind

The past is tomorrow's key,
leave it behind and open possibilities


Make today count

Seek answers in silence,
go in peace,
practice love,
make today count


The beach at night

By yourself on the beach at night
you feel so completely alone...
and apart and secure... no one in sight
no interruptions to hamper you
and everything takes on a special glow
a recognition... this is where we came, us two
I feel so marvelously swept out to sea
almost like walking on air
when I think of what we shared you and me
and how deeply I still care...
Our love has always been like a tempest
not...lovely...and safe...and sound
...and all the rest
I feel homesick for you, and my thoughts go down
with you out to sea...on the whitecaps
like a blanket of snow...and the fog
seems to melt into my bones... and saps
my will... and I wish we were here
....together still


Friday, January 4, 2013


I've just been informed that my blog in now blacklisted by StumbleUpon.  :-(

I guess it doesn't pay to be popular...


Spells of love

Your lips of sweet temptation,
whisper soft incantations,
as I feel the heat of the night swell,
and I'm filled with your spell


Stirring up the past

Stirring up the past
can bring up things best forgotten
There's a reason memories don't last


The next crossroad

Many paths cross into each life
and the road continues
forking here and there
during times of indecisiveness
only to travel on again
I have decided to move on
to see what life will bring
at the next crossroad


Lost Shadows

I missed you last night
I laid with another...
and thought of you.
He didn't fill my needs,
didn't recognize the soul of me
crying out in the darkness
searching for that which
was taken from me.
Why is it when I'm with
someone else...
I am most empty... I am
haunted with this need
you left in me...
I am as a shadow looking
for the one it belongs to
who is casting no mirrored
image of his own.
No one touches this need
in me... but you.


Thursday, January 3, 2013

A winter world

Nature nourishes my soul,
a winter world covered in snow....


The memory keeps me going

When you love someone
words aren't necessary...
the silences speak for themselves
your eyes say much more
than you ever did...
you touched me somewhere
inside myself
that on one had traveled before
you awoke such feelings in me
of elation...
I didn't know such happiness existed
and such an ache
no balm can soothe this pain...
this ocean of feeling
I cannot pretend
to have stopped caring
but I must go on
my own life
the memory of what we had
keeps me going...
I will succeed
I know...


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Waiting for the sunrise

The fading moonlight
glitters in the icy snow
the start of another day
waiting for the sunrise


Uttered tenderness

Because I have loved you too deeply
you have felt if of no value
and thus rejected it... you have
felt I could not see beauty in
you, who has decided your own...
lack of worth... you have thought
me weak because I have loved
you still even as you scorned
me... I can only repay you with
more love... even as I turned
from you, my heart within me
was bleeding for love of you...
and uttered tenderness within
myself with each pulse beat...
My pride I walked on for love
of you... and left trod in the
dust... and in hunger for your
love my soul cried in dispair...
Far better to be humilated in
love and expose its nakedness
to the elements... than to walk away
triumphant... but without love...


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Humility of age

I wear the humility of age,
in the wrinkles and the scars,
time our journey engaged


Just another Tuesday

It's just another Tuesday,
and when all is said and done,
one year's ended,
and another's begun


Of love's dark deeds

I am weary
of this life so dreary
of working until the end of each day
with never any time left for play
of being alone, lost without you
so you see it doesn't matter what I do
it's not the work that's got me down
it's simply the fact that you're not around
to hold me in your arms nightly
starring at the stars shining brightly
the world revolving for just us two
that's how it seemed when I was with you
I curse myself for giving in to you
for all you said was so untrue
like you... like you
I mutter incoherently
of love's dark deeds...


The arch of life

We are born into this life
tinged with the aura
of emerging and struggle
youth is a time
of subtle emotional discoveries
and erratic feelings
of violence against everything
it is part of the call of the world
Reaching adulthood
we elicit masks of
publicly closed faces
defences raised with lies
immutably in silence
they cry
every life an arch created
from birth to death


Counting the years

I've filled my glass
from a well of tears
and watched seasons pass
while counting the years


The gift of today

Each day is a sublime gift.  It opens at daybreak and slowly unfolds.  We do not know all that it contains but be can view it with the anticipation of a child at Christmas in awe.

Do not be blind to the beauty of the day but be in expectation of all the blessings it holds.  See it as the gift it is.  Be in wonder at the beauty it contains and its ever changing surprises as slowly more and more is revealed.

What shall we do with this gift of today?  Shall we savor it bit by bit or rush through its passage unawares?  It is our choice.  Take time to pause and truly see.  Do you drive to your destination, or walk, notice the changes of each season?

See the breeze rustling the leaves on the trees.  See the clouds making designs in the sky.  Smell the freshness of the air.  Notice the briskness or warmth of the day.

Be prepared to enjoy this gift of today for what we anticipate is often what we receive.  Do not let any negative moments spoil the gift God has given you.

This today that you will only own now.  See the flowers He has sent to brighten it.  How the dew sparkles.  If you are indoors take time to step outside to admire the wonderful colors in your world from the blueness of the sky to the pristine whiteness of the snow.

From the fall leaves of a changing world to the sparkling waters rippling or rolling to share.  Life is beautiful whether stormy or calm.  It is we who get so caught up in our daily activities that we forget to notice.

See the darkness slowly descend and the shadows deepen.  See the stars come out of hiding, one by one, and the moon climb up the sky.  Feel the chill in the air and the rustle as the night creatures tiptoe out.  Hear the hoot of an owl.

Say goodbye to the gift of today.  I hope you've made it a good one, and be aware that soon the gift of tomorrow will become another today.