Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Green Sweater Blues

So came the meeting of two strangers
yet fantastic friends
drawn together thru need
and cause
identifying with ideas
and bending the law
and from them grew need
and from them arose life
separation came
parting hearts, pain, and
hidden tears
friends for a day
stretched across countless
years
circles chased, circles caught
friends for a day
a time never to be forgotten

00000000

Let's share

Will you share the years
of growth, pain, smiles, and tears with me
will you open your heart
and I mine
and share full trust and honesty
will you fall and climb
together with me
you walked into my life
one step at a time
please stay and share
your life and mine

00000000

Ceased to be

Ted dreamed one too many a dream. This had become a nightly occurrence, ever since his son's suicide. He had to do something, anything before it was too late. He wasn't very old, fifty two, perhaps. His hair striped black and white, like an old movie's hero. A strong man by nature, yet he couldn't take the pain any longer, he had to do something, he'd dreamed one too many a bad dream.... so Ted ceased to be.

12171213

Angels and ghosts

My room is never empty
I've got angels and ghosts
to keep me company

05491213

Thorns of dust

A new year comes again
our footsteps do not retrace
an ocean view once shared
a special place
I considered ours, rising into view
enjoyed now alone, no more with you
The rose I sent as a sign of my trust
has withered, its thorns now turned to dust
you need not walk along the water lapping
ripples and soft ocean breeze blowing
or watch the gulls dip and dive... listen
says yesterday, I knew that he was going
it was only my heart that refused the truth of knowing

12311977

Monday, December 30, 2013

Get a Life

There are steps and lessons we'd like to skip in life but we were sent here to experience a certain journey and all the events along the way. We can choose to try to drown them, ignore them or refute them but they keep coming up in life's moments calling to us.

Sometimes in small quiet ways, a dream, an intuition, a moment of familiarity in an unknown place. At other times it can be a seismic wake up call telling us to get back on track, there are things to do, and we're wasting time.

We have a purpose to accomplish and it's time we started getting a clue. Remembering who we truly are and who sent us. At times nothing is left but our faith and as we turn to it we know a sense of peace, of spiritual growth, a revelation of life itself.

We can either get it or give up. One path helps us to climb to a higher level. The other commands a repeat performance until we get it right. Warning bells will keep going off trying to wake us to a greater purpose. To consciousness and greater joy for then we know the angels walk with us, guide us, lead us, protect us, and share the experience of life.

They will never leave us for their purpose is to be with us. When we stop struggling and let go and let God we find ourselves in an accelerated world where synchronicity is a common occurrence, where the right people, the right opportunities in the right places, at the right time, magically appear as if they were waiting in the wings for their cue.

The prompting was our new willingness. We experience a greater understanding and appreciation of our life and all life. A greater awareness and recognition. A heightened sense of reality and more blessings than we thought possible. What came before was a preparation. Now we have found the path and our true self. Life is glorious!

05031999

Liquid Fire

Remove the pale outer skin
from the heart
and it pulsates red
deep within it
bringing life to all it reaches
giving love as well
with its warm, liquid fire
but the loins
are the furnace of desire

00000146

Under the sea

Under the sea
the waves roll over
and oh so gently
crash and roar
right above me

05411213

Era of damnation

Two thousand years
and still counting
keeping track
of days and minutes
this era of damnation
surely must end
in salvation

12221213

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Until my birthday

It's been a decade since your passing
I nearly forgot, until my birthday
a nice why to remind me, you
dying on that day....

10191213

Of life

Split pea soup
coleslaw and apple pie
it's the little things
for which I'm grateful
moments of bliss
a true thanksgiving
of life, of life
indeed

01022000

I blinked

A new year at midnight
I couldn't keep my eyes open
I blinked and didn't notice
nothing seemed different
nothing had changed
funny thing
this passing of time

10051213

Gifts

Our true gifts
are given
not kept
things we do
for others
as we move
along our way

12171213

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Just more empty words

He was no rock
no support either
just empty words
saying things
he thought I wanted
him to say
or me to hear
I waited for the action
for the follow through
it never came
just more empty.... words

12311999

A winter's day

Morning tea
some reading
journaling
and relaxing
no better way
to start a winter's day

11451213

Swallowed by stars

I'm pulled into silence
swallowed by stars
embraced by the universe
folded up by time
dying starts a new journey

12371213

Friday, December 27, 2013

Sharing is giving

Sharing is one of the most rewarding experiences we can have. To ourselves and to those we share with. Sharing is not just a giving of an abundance of money. It can be a meal together. Sharing the events of your day. Getting to know someone and sharing the adventures of your life.

It can be experiencing something together: a movie, walk, a day at the beach or shopping. It can be a hobby you have in common with others. It can be a teaching to those who want to learn. Sharing your talent to bring joy into the lives of a few or many. It can be a laugh of mutual humor. You can pray together. Play together.

You can share with a whole group or just one other. But it is an opening up of yourself and taking an interest in others. Sharing is a reward in itself. Some accomplishments we can share long after we are gone, such as: art, music, discoveries and inventions.

Some things we share effect the growth of generations to come. Some sharing can bring devastation to the lives of many, such as unsafe sex causing disease and death. Sharing can be of information you have that can help others.

Sharing can be remembering times past or a hope and goal for the future. Sharing nowadays can be done with unlimited legions on the internet or cyberspace. People even claim to share cybersex. Sharing should be a giving to another of something we value most ourself.

Love tops the list. The angels are always willing to share with us, if we let them. The help us to gain greater spiritual knowledge that we may bring to others. They share our existence in a corresponding plane. They bring synchronicity in our lives, which shares with us what we need to know, when it is appropriate we learn it. Mostly they share God's love with us for it is He that sends them to share this life experience.

05021999

Love's no crime

Let's go off some place
just you and I
down the pages of time
we'll smile and cry
lines filling our faces
love's no crime
and needs no reason why....

12341213

But for today

For the warmth of you
for the shelter of your arms
my body yearns
to be safe from the storms of life
and shut the world out
from just us two
tomorrow it may be we'll part
but for today... you have my heart

00000132

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Cling to hope

We all need to cling to hope in times of helplessness. When we feel a loss of control in our lives. As if we are swimming upstream, against the tide and the debris of a lifetime is not floating past, but is churning forcefully in the waves trying to drown us in despair. To overcome us with its weight, or knock us senseless with its branches.

The purpose is not to become defeated, but to look for that outcropping we can grasp to save ourselves. That hope that is grounded in the spiritual. That seeking of divine intervention that is called faith. That in the right time all will be well. We only need to cling to that single, simple truth that God will see us through all things. That we are never alone. That angels walk with us, and that miracles happen everyday, and that they will happen to you.

Faith can and does move mountains. We are never, ever helpless as long as we reach for spiritual guidance. Look for the opportunity in the smallest grain of sand, the helping hand, each prayer we say and in each new day. Just hang on.

Never let go of that faith. It is your lifeline in the stormy waters of life. Cling to hope. It is your strength in adversity, your support when the bottom falls out, your light in the tunnel and your salvation.

We can also help ourselves by helping others. We are never helpless as long as we can give, even if all we have to give is time. Giving not only helps others, but helps us regain our sense of self. Life isn't futile, it is fruitful. Be not in fear but in faith.

Take pride in accomplishing something daily no matter how small. Each small success we accomplish is a step up out of the flood. Sometimes we need to break away to begin again, and sometimes a storm carries us downstream to do just that.

05011999

The setting sun

I watch the setting sun
knowing my race is run
if only I had won

12181213

Roses at dusk

Roses at dusk
an unexpected surprise
love at sunset
and fading years ahead
basking in the moment
before it goes away

12131213


Still gone

I can almost see your face
through the haze of time
and the days of forgetting
I reach out to touch it
your smile in my tears
knowing you're still gone

05421213

Later

My mind and my body
on ten-cent battlefields...
My body is young
and eager for the touch of other bodies.
My mind is old
and quiet
and full of words
that will only mean something
later...

05261972

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Mistletoe

If you were my darling
and I your mistletoe
I would hang above your head
and reach to touch you so

or put me in your buttonhole
close upon your chest
and there with you I'll be
to greet each Christmas guest

11111978

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Passing Flury

Snow flakes
melt away
like my memories
soon a blank slate
of nothing today
just a passing flury

12351213

Haunting Memory

The departed come back to me
and sit beneath my Christmas tree
this is a holiday of haunting memory

12301213

Sit by the sea

Let the world come to me
I'd rather just sit beside the sea
lost in the moment and happy

12241213

Christmas Tears

My tears are for Christmas past
things that will never be again
the joy of those days
and memories I thought would last
but all good things do end
and slowly fade away

08421213

Give me trees

A tree is gift enough
for me
to watch it grow
year after year
as seasons come
and go
where birds
make home...
yes, give me trees
as far as I can see

05481213

I stand in darkness

How can we be lovers
if we aren't even friends?
Relationships develop so fast.
Push, no time for tomorrow.
Accomplish everything today
but wait, please slow down
let me show you what I am,
where I am,
and where I am going.
Look around, reach out,
there's a human being
to be discovered....
I stand in darkness
wondering if
light will ever
come my way again....

05291976

Monday, December 23, 2013

Shower upon the earth

Loneliness is
a rainy night
with no one there
to care
that your man
has turned away
and all the clouds
of gray
shower upon the earth
like the tears
that trace down your face
and you're alone
in this lonely place

00000152

Another day

I couldn't clean you
out of my veins
such was my addition
blinding and foolish
my love unreturned
drawing me back
for more and more
pushing me to the edge
time after time
nearly insane
until I put you away
drained, but healing
I lived to love
another day

05491213

Old Fruit

Looking up
at love's tree
I've never picked
fresh fruit
I've always found mine
on the ground
placed there
by an invisible
sometimes visible
hand
I never particularly
cared for old fruit
it's alright, I guess
but some of the taste
is gone
some of the firmness
is lost
and
much of it is soiled
as it is handled
by the shoppers
in the market-place-world
of would-be lovers...

00000059

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Making Memories

You can't take memories
with you, or keep them
they fade and die
over time, 'tis true
but you can make them
share them, praise them
and spread them
through the winds of time

19291213

Melody

Renew your dreams
with each rising sun
tear at the seams
pursue folly and fun
shout and scream
your melody must be sung

19271213

Try

Our endeavors
rewards in themselves
discovery of who
and what we are
and who we can be
all we have to do
is try....

19161213

A journey of dreams

A mile of moonlight
waiting before us
parting the shadows
leading the way
step forward
cast away your fear
discovery awaits
in a journey of dreams

19131213

Scent

We douse ourselves
in scent, a disguise
to try and cover up
our bullshit
avoiding authenticity
and that which
would set us free

19101213

Running Rivers

The source and sound
mixed in blood
running rivers of time
waiting for the aged
to come forward
and set themselves...
free

19071213

Adornments

The lights go up
red and green
and sparkling colors
in between
the season brings
childlike joy
and songs to sing
the world
our wonderful toy
for a day of love
and peace
blessings from above
await...
let's adorn our tree

13231213

Making Music

We were a song
with no chorus
making our own music
until something
went wrong
along the way

13171213

Looking out my window

People in windows
somehow seem so
so far away
yet not really
surrounded by their
window frames
hid behind their
window pane
structured shelters
from the rain
they sit within
and I the same
and people's eyes
that they look through
we look through
both me
both you
the grass smells green
the leaves fall brown
the seasons change
the world turns round
and all the while...
while we're looking
through windows

00000066

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Two Years Dead

Edna woke to darkness
she'd give Henry her two cents
come the morning light
bills must be paid
to keep the lights on
even if Henry was,
two years dead....

1221121

Friday, December 20, 2013

Tomorrow gone

More yesterdays to count
in each aged way
tomorrows are too few
to ponder for long
we're all here today
and tomorrow gone...

12401213

to be

How very peaceful it would be
to pretend that you're the sea
How fruitful to be a rose
as your fragrance fills a nose
or to give to any bee
your pollen for honey plentifully.
How gentle to be a breeze
that blows 'ore the seas
that kisses the skin of one so fair
and rustles the leaves of the trees that are there
that whistles through the grass where we lay
making love throughout the day....
but I think I would rather be me
completely filled with your ecstasy.

00000155

Saying Sorry

I wish you would stop
saying you're sorry
all the time...
to be with you
... is enough!

082619777

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Serpent Queen

Serpent Queen
your blood runs cold
you've used us up
forking out lies
tales of the might have been
stories of the brave and bold
the innocent and corrupt
whisper and cry
there's no Eden to behold
until we're forgiven

12391213

Until our reckoning

Naked and in fear
of exposure
of our wicked
nature
until our reckoning

12231213

Snow Covered

My snow covered heart
never quite able to thaw
allowing the seeds to start
was my long fatal flaw
after I let love depart...

12531213

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Daughter of the snake

Daughter of the snake
blind and betrayed
to her own mistakes
and the error of her ways

12421213

Chains

My chains
kept me here
unable to take flight
and soar with you...
with this I must try
and learn to be content

12311213

Unwanted roots

Cruel love
grows unwanted roots
a blossom one day
and weeds all the rest

12291213

Roads to nowhere

Rip apart the map of years
too many roads filled with tears
too many roads to nowhere

05491213

Wild Winds

Let me bring you one last spring
grown with love from seeds sown
oh so long ago, our two hearts one
ours a youthful summer fling
where wild winds did blow
and life was joyous and fun....

12471213

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Now

I used to be drunk with your love
now I just drink...
You used to heat me with your warmth
now I just smoke...
You used to make me feel wanted
now I'm just empty..
I once was whole... untouched
now I'm just a shell...
I was good for you
now I'm just bad for myself
abusing what I am
trying to burn the fire you lit
out... douse the coals...
nothing smoldering...
no candles to light the darkness
my self abuse ...
drives much deeper
than you ever could
although I must admit... you tried
I deny myself... to myself
doubtful of everything
especially... love

03261977

Monday, December 16, 2013

There's no oasis

Time a crevice
into which we fall
there's no oasis
just an aging crawl
into the abyss

12401213

Empty Pockets

Precious are the coins of time
and yet we spend them unwisely
thinking nothing of losing a dime
our pockets empty so swiftly

12301213

Us Left behind

We wander after
that we know won't linger
trying to make sense
of memories once intense
a past left behind
for the fading mind

12171213

Splash of color

In a splash of color
the world opened up
reds, greens, and blues too
she'd gotten heaven's favor
an angel's trust
all she dreamed, she could do

12141213

Part the clouds

The moon parts a sea of clouds
to light my way through the night
pushing aside my fears and doubts
until I'm at rest at your side....

05481213

Happy World

You never gave me anything
real... I could hold onto
like your child...
I would have loved that
something of yours
to take root inside me
deliver me...
of what is left here
nothing... but loving you
milk my breasts dry
they are swollen
from missing your touch
enter me...
and leave the germs
of your tomorrows to grow
within my swollen belly
to be delivered
into tomorrow's happy world

032619777

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Cards

My cards I meant to send
I worked on them for days
each one filled with fading love
for those so far far away
across the bridge of time when
these holidays we would share
when being together was enough
My cards pile up more and more
with each and every passing occasion
I can't seem to manage time anymore
it's forgetting and not procrastination
that keep my cards from going anywhere

19301213

No holiday delights

No more tree
No more lights
No more memories
Nor Silent Nights
Alone and elderly
No holiday delights....

19181312

Steam Cleaned

I should be able
to write of happiness
I know I've experienced it
somewhere along the way
I've traveled a long road
I should have bumped into it
here and there...
The moon is happiness to lovers
but cold when you're alone
walking barefoot along the beach
is always better with two
hand in hand...
enjoying the sounds
and smells
and brisk salty air
I've kissed
within the small spaces
allotted to me...
made love between commas
long unhurried times
that left lonely memories
I imagine you making love
to all the others
and happiness disappears
as in a vapor
rising out of sight
I'm steam cleaned of it...

03311977

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Anything else...

You're restless as a cougar
ambition must be
your middle name
always searching... for what?
you left me
but refuse to denounce me
searching for my happiness
when only one thing
can make me truly happy
having you...
Why do you give a damn?
are you trying to bullshit me
or do you feel guilty
you took my soul...
what else do you want?

032519777

Friday, December 13, 2013

New beginnings

There will be endings in all our lives as each day ends, each month ends, each year too. At times what we need with an ending is closure, and that is more spiritual, more emotional than physical.

To put a chapter of our life behind us so that we may move on. For a new door cannot open until another one closes. As a new month cannot begin until the proceeding one ends.

Sometimes closure is delayed because of legalities, healing, or other obstacles that are blocking our path.Use the time for preparation. For a release of any angers, resentments, emotional pain, and any negativity that will hamper us in a new beginning.

Use the time to study, that you may grow into your new life. See time as an opportunity to expand instead of a barricade to your destiny. There is a purpose to all things. A season for all things under the sun.

The divine knows better what we need in preparation on each leg of your journey than we, ourselves do. Take time to listen to what your spirit is saying.

Remember the hardships and challenges of the past and how you succeeded in overcoming them, how much you grew through them, and how everything has contributed in developing who you are today. And know in your adversity, this too shall pass, the purpose is to grow through life's challenges. The storm that took your home, the tragedy that took a loved one, the circumstances that cost you your livelihood.

There is a "something more" to gain from the experience and oftentimes we are impressed by the courage exhibited in such times of trail. The reaching out to others, encouraging the downtrodden. I look around and wouldn't wish anyone's life by my own, for I know the diving has designed this path just for me that there are things to accomplish only I can fulfill.

Bless this path, its endings and new beginnings.

04301999

the other part

I can live without
someone I love
but not without someone
I need....
that kindred soul
that's the other part
of me...

12311213

Hooked

Like overdue library books,
some people stay on my mind...
like a junkie, I'm hooked
on love, on life, sadly blind...

12281213

Something to remember

I'm not looking for answers anymore,
but for something to remember...
something solid, a tangible reward
to take with me to the ever after...

12211213

I remember shadows

So many years have climbed over me
since you've gone away
a lifetime in a day
and the years were ones of blossoming for me.

How sad to know
I could not bloom for you.
To know how late I was in finding you.
You were afraid of love already by then.

Now, when I think of you,
I remember shadows
and how kind we thought the world
not to light our secret place.
Sad, too,
to find that feeling gone.
Just when I'm strong enough to keep it.

00000000

Balm

If you loved.... if it was love
on your part
it's doubtful
balm to soothe your wounds
like an animal
to help you heal your past hurts
maybe...
Lust... curiosity
an ego trip out of control
probably much closer to the truth
all I've accused myself of
for what?
It doesn't matter...
Nothing really did to you
so why should I establish
any importance to it
accredit it with any reality
nothing given
leaves what?... Nothing!
gone with the evidence
that I was ever there
I took it all with me
you left nothing
for me to return... not even love

032319777

Thursday, December 12, 2013

No Dancing

I wish I'd been younger
and hadn't seen
or known so much
then maybe...
I would dance
with innocent believing
but...
I was never young....

00005900

Demons

The demons
of lost love
still haunt me
like bad dreams
that never end
an endless sea
filled with tears
and a heart
that can't mend

12311213

The Sad Celebration

I've been broken before,
I know what it's like
to see something funny
and not laugh.
I often wished I had never smiled.
Knowing how to
and not being able to
is worse than never knowing.

Sometimes, when I see a child walking,
I can come home faster to my own.
It's because they are clean
and they have hope.
The make me believe in something.

But when there is nothing alive in me at all,
when I've been battered down
with voices,
or the sound of them,
when I have to let go
of someone or something,
when I have to say goodbye
to anything
that's when I know what it's like
to see something funny
and not laugh....

00000031

Corrupted by a smile

I thought I was above love
couldn't be conquered by man
but was corrupted by a smile
and warm laughing eyes....
Your mouth engorged me
with the fullness of you
leaving me dangling
from your teeth...
The wanting of you has
eroded me from inside out
leaving a hallow case
to be filled with flowers
and laid to rest...
Breasts rose scented
from the petals I've eaten
I'm searching for a new soul
to fill what is left
to inhabit this much used body
I began and ended
with the love the conqueror
used... emptiness
his only conquest
not much to show for the trip
was it worth it?

03231977

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Drift Away

A saxaphone
softly pays
for those alone
letting love drift away

12481213

Joyous Lute

Heart strings
sing
like a lute
so we can
dance together
joyous
as one....

12301213

Always with me

Some days I can't get past the tears of your memory
you, taken away from the world oh so quickly
are here always, and forever, with me....

07561213

Filling Blank Pages

I've stitched myself
back together carefully
the thread shows
here and there
but will fall off
when the scars heal
I hide myself
behind sunglasses
dry eyed
wrung out... from weeping
I've folded up
all the corners
that were vulnerable
and cut the edges
I'm like a carbonated soda
with the fizz gone
Someone put my fire out
and now I stand in darkness
many blank pages
of could have beens
left unwritten
I peel off skin
to write on
pale pink... raw
with feeling

03231977

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Waiting for nothing

Waiting was hard
but forgetting more so
in an unyielding world
for love to return
for dreams to come true
before being swept away
with age, in time....

09111976

Warm Sand

My mind so clear
I can close my eyes and see
all the days and nights
of you and me...
I remember the warmth of the sun
the feel of the sand
the sound of the surf
and the touch of your hand
my memories now are all I have
now you are gone from me
so I return to our beach
and listen to the crashing sound of the sea
and with the world shut out
I can still picture in my mind
your happy smile there that day
and some solace then I find
I know if my memory forever were to be lost
of the sea, the rain, the dew
the sun and warmth of the sand
I would still remember you....

00000133

The visual effect

I would want to change myself
I've never been happy
with the total sum of me
I keep trying to rearrange
the visual effect that I have
It's easier to redo your hair color
than to stretch your body
I find...
The only thing I would keep
just the same
is my tongue
I find I like my tongue
just as it is
It's the only thing that feels
sensual... about me

03231977

Monday, December 9, 2013

Life changing attitude

God has put in my life what I need to grow and learn. The message is a change of life attitude. Faith not fear. To release the blocks of the past. To be grateful each day for the many blessings in my life. To take time to pray, meditate, listen, and learn.

Synchronicity is a great part of my life. A teacher has appeared when a lesson has needed to be learned. Books, prayers, and a sense of peace have come when most needed. Even laughter when it has been lacking has been provided so that I don't take everything so seriously, but see the lighter side of life.

When I start feeling down I only need remember what life was like before and I feel blessed. No, I don't know all the answers, but I am willing to learn the lessons God knows I need to move on into the next state of my life. To put my personal world in order.

Chaos does not serve right living or honor our spirit. Some lessons I am slower at accepting thus my progress is delayed until I am ready to move on. When I am in limbo I need ask myself what I need to learn and accept at this stage.

Where am I floundering and not listening? For the message is always there waiting for us to acknowledge it. God is ever so patient with us, His children. His love is unconditional.

My journey has been a long one and I could have moved ahead ages ago, but I didn't understand He was waiting for me to ask. I am guided, not led. The choice is up to me to ask, to accept, to seek, to listen, to experience, and to prepared.

God provides what we need when we need it. But He does not force us to accept. I feel as if I were blind but gradually I am able to see more clearly, more consciously and more gratefully. God does provide abundantly. It is we who block the way, restricting our own life. When we believe we are open to receive and all things are possible.

04281999

Twilight

This dimension
old age...
twilight years
of confusion
has but one
conclusion
forgetting
all the love
and joy
until the end

12191213

Running out of words

I'm running out of words
names for these fading things
of thinning memory
uncounted days passing by
they used to matter to me
once... long ago

12111213

Unending

I don't plan to pass
this way again
a world too crass
games of lose or win
just won't last
such shallow sins
in which we invest
never seem to end

05531213

Eroding us away

I have not found
anyone absolutely content
with their lives,
or their looks,
or themselves...
They envy others
for their bone structure
or their wild
flowing hair...
There's always nagging
jealousies
life's discontentments
eroding us away
into shadows
of what we could be

04271977

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Fading Stars

You are fading
with yesterday
but then you
were always
going from me
like daylight
into evening....
memories
pale remembrances
of days gone by...
nothing of myself
is left
gone with the night
like the stars
when the morning arrives

04271977

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Seeing Snow

I forget the fist time I saw snow,
and yet I still feel it in my bones...
winter has become part of me now
my season of life too, mine alone
all this nature does bestow...

10371213

Evidence

Show me evidence
that you were here
my body disbelieves it
only my dreams
bring it all back
but in faded shadows
without reality
your semen,
your warmth,
your filling of me,
eyeless witness
without tongues
have nothing to say
gone with yesterdays
fading daylight
nothing reproduced
on the canvas of me
an invention of my
imagination
without renewal
dreams are not evidence

03231977

Friday, December 6, 2013

My moonshine

My moonshine
made from muddy
waters of love
flowing to the coastline
rampant and bloody
there's no salvation from above
no walk in the sunshine
so unlike the stills of Kentucky
you won't be abuzz
singing of your Clementine
drinking these spirits of the unlucky
no, but you might combust...

12461213

unhealing

Wounds of the soul
don't heal with time
they steal our life away

12341213

Here we are

The neon blared out
here we are, waiting
the lonely and desperate
we the cheated
and brokenhearted
dying, not living
in a wasteland of life
just a long never ending
and empty night

05501213

Just Marking Time

Every day
is a waiting period
I'm just marking time
ripping them off
like used calendar pages
I got through another one
so what?
This isn't living
it's like hell on earth
I felt like a woman once
my breasts bare
hugging the see thru blouses
my nipples hard for you
spraying perfume
anywhere you might touch
yesterday's rainbow has gone
now it just pours
so what?
who in the hell cares?
do you...

03251977

Thursday, December 5, 2013

at long last

Yesterday
I was an angel
who took the wrong path
Today
sitting in hell
repenting my past
Tomorrow
heaven beheld
at long last

12411213

Under a spell

I fell under
the spell
of my dreams
blind to the lies
and the schemes
that turned
my life to hell

12171213

Singing Star

I have loved you after
time ran out
on both your watch and mine
until my body
was a single singing star

05261976

Landing Safely

I have no luck
with men at all
always landing on
barren deserts
with no vegetation
to nourish me...
Their feelings
are mapped out
differently
than women's
all exterior surface
like their bodies
I keep all that I am
inside... being woman
a soft mattress
to lay on
falling with all
the weight of you
onto me
landing safely...

03201977

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Adrift in limbo

This is what limbo is like, holding your breath and waiting for something to happen. Closure, a new beginning, an ending to an old chapter, waiting, just waiting.

You observe life going on all around you. Watching, waiting, in stagnation. Lost, adrift, abandoned, left to rot, or sink without a trace.

A boat on a sea of turmoil with no sails....

04271977

Waiting Wings

Death will visit
in mercy
a delivering angel
with waiting wings....

12271213

Bingo

I must confess
that I have not yet
learned to understand you
I would like to
climb inside and see
just what makes you tick
you're everywhere
or is it just my imagination
someone is always
mentioning your name
or something about you
I think I could move
out of the country even
and someone would ask
about you... "have you seen"
I'm either going to get
over loving you
or win you one of these days
like a Crackerjack prize
Did you see what I found
in my box!!!
bingo... I win

03271977

Youthful Folly

Love my youthful folly
carried me on its wings
I couldn't help but sing
when I fell from on high
still, I wasn't sorry
even through the tears
I cried....
I remember it fondly
year after year....

08011213

Whirlwind of turmoil

Today is one of havoc
and mental confusion
rush... rush... rush...
How easily others seem
to lead their calm lives
The have money
husbands who care,
happiness...
I'm a whirlwind
of turmoil
in comparison
caught in the
incurable disease
of love's crutches...
Dear Doctor
can you cure
this illness?...
You ignore my
platitudes
by your own choice
and the disease
spreads...

04271977

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Rattling Bones

The world a shallow grave
just deep enough
to bury our dreams,
but still expose our mistakes...
rattling bones
of deeds gone wrong....

10481213

World on a shelf

I deceived myself
dreaming dreams
that would never be
my world on a shelf
wasting my springs
never truly free

10401213

More Still

I'm lessor now
because you're gone
but more still
because you were here

07531213

just waiting

I am bored
with what I am
locked up everything
that I ever was before
taking my daily pill
waiting for my cycle
that is part of the woman
I am... you knew

09191977

Monday, December 2, 2013

Life is like the sea

Life's trails are like sea shells on the beach you come upon them one at a time. The are all different indesign and color and you often wonder what brought them to where they are.

If you put them to your ear you can hear the peace of the ocean. And if we listen in life we can hear the still small voice in our ear that tells us "everything will be okay".

That is our guardian angel speaking to us. Life like the ocean has its ebbs and flows. Nothing is constant except the divine. He is always with us, steadying us in our faith, guiding us with His eternal light, and comforting us with His endless love.

Like the sea we all have our stormy times. And times of calm and peacefulness. Each day the sun rises and the sun sets and if we bother to notice we find each one unique and magnificent.

Driftwood is like some of us gliding through life without true consciousness and washing up on shore unsure of what brought us there.

Sometimes life is a tangle like the seaweed that wraps itself around whatever it encounters. Life like the sea is full of hidden dangers, drop offs, and debris. Be aware on your journey, seek guidance of the divine.

Rid yourself of the excess baggage of hidden anger, fear, prejudice, hatred, and all negativity which are pollutants to the spirit. Much rainfall, runoff, drainage, and others sources finds its way into our seas.

Be careful of what you allow into the environment to be washed away as well as what you expose yourself to in life. Be of good company. Do not enter where your angels will not go.

Do not expose yourself to the sickness of evil or violence. Clean your beaches and your heart that they may both be pure. All things are divine gifts to be treated with respect and gratitude that they my thrive.

04261999

Be an example in life

God gave us words that we may communicate. God gave us truths that we may believe. God gave us His only son that we may be saved.

God, our Father, loves us more than we could ever imagine. God gave us life that we may experience and remember. That we may love and share. That we may serve and find purpose.

For this is our journey and we touch the lives of those we pass along the way. Be an example of God's love in your sharing, giving, loving, and in your faith.

We teach most, not with words but by example. Be an example of love in action. When you see someone in need, don't close your eyes and pass by. What would Jesus do?

Do what is necessary and do it with heartfelt love. For whatever you do for the least of my brothers you do for me. So said Jesus.

This life is not about who accumulates the most things, although possessions themselves are not evil. God wants us to have abundance, but not as our sole purpose in life.

We are here to learn, to teach, to remember and to exhibit the love of God that we have been blessed with. God will show us the way if we let him.

Pray for guidance, for insight, for strength through trails and faith that all will be well. We cannot always see the purpose behind events as they happen.

Look for the lesson in all things. Be open to hear, to know a greater intent than what is happening in the moment. Be at peace knowing God will show you the way.

He sends angels to guide you. To whisper in your ear. To protect you in times of danger, and to offer you unconditional love.

We are never alone on this journey of life for we are accompanied always by heavenly hosts. Seek divine guidance and rightful living. Communication through daily prayer. Unwavering faith. And always as a child of God by example.

04251999

Cracked Plaster

Many people
surrounded me
making bets if I would last
I'm made of durable material
I'll outlast them all...
I've had my sex life opened up for analysis
They've openly discussed
my choice of lovers
muttering what a mess
I've made of myself...
My world has crashed in
on the head of everything
The plaster has cracked
but I'm still here
I've accused myself,
tried myself
and judged myself
more guilty
then they ever would have
and sentenced myself
to crippled writings
people with ghosts
of yesterdays...

03231977

Awaken the waters

The earth is hard
but the sand is not
the early morning sunrise
born from the sea
bears its reddening fruit
across the horizon
of the oceans
slowly turning the dawn
red as with blood
in translucent light
stained with the fruit
of ripened berries
the fingers of it spreading
to walk the lightening day
blossoming forth
Christmas aglitter
in the sky
like stained glass windows
to awaken the waters
of a new day

03191977

Sunday, December 1, 2013

My road home

My wounds
healed
My mind
opened
Eternity awaits
outside of time
forgiveness
my road home

11041213

My Athena

I wake
calling out
"Athena, Athena"
are you still there?
Darkness fills the room
with deafening silence
and fear....
I cry out in panic
could my guardian angel
truly be gone?
Awake my child
is all I hear....
My nightmare over
my Athena near....

12022000

With you

With you I felt
so warm...
and satisfied...
and happy...
it was oh so lovely
the times we had...
and I wouldn't change one thing
not one...
the walk along the beach
the touch of you
it was all so perfect
just as I think you are...

01021975

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Chew on this

The man who chews on his woman
will be poisoned by her gall.
The woman who chews on her man
will end her days as a toothless hag.
The poet who writes of food
will never go hungry.
The poet who describes her friends at the table
will eat her words.
The poet who writes on rice paper
will nourish her critics.
A poem about food will not feed
the starving nations.
Your own mouth will eat you
if you don't watch out.

08021976

Garments of Mistakes

My garments
of mistakes
have weighed
so heavily on me
over so many years
I pray for forgiveness
to wake again
naked without shame
free to walk in heaven
with those I love

12021965

Friday, November 29, 2013

In exile

In exile
we seek mercy
and protection
from ourselves
we wicked souls
left to cry
left to pray
for salvation...

15141113

One goodbye

Love
the blood
that stains
my hands
My heart
drained
dry....
with one
goodbye

15101113

The children of Eve

The children of Eve
left in a garden of weeds
that have gone to seed
souls unable to feed....

15081113

Time belongs to death

Time belongs to death
freedom to eternity
and truth to us all

15041113

Lost Souls

In the city of death
we make love to fear
shadows caress us
and steal our breath...
may angels appear
our lost souls entrust
deliverance to Nazareth

14571113


When we had it all

Man seeking
to set the universe
in order
redemption
not possible
for the arrogant
who will surely fall
just like Eden
when we had it all

12361113

Alchemy

The alchemists
came forward
with the gold
of Orion
Golden stars
to light the way
into the light of faith
wings of angels
ready for flight
soon will deliver us
from the dark of night....

14311113

In the beginning

In the beginning was the word
but I had no ears to hear
left to stumble along
seeking visions so clear

14261113

The pupil

My slate board
filled with mistakes
me the pupil
still not ready to learn,
but one day,
I pray
my teacher will arrive

14231113

Washed Clean Again

I wash away my tears
naked in the rain
the sum of all my fears
bones made of pain
crumbling over years
and washed clean again

13511113

You needed a shepherd

I brought on the rain
running from shelter
blinded, insane
more child than elder
my mistakes caused pain
I should have known better
parenting is no game
you needed a shepherd
who knew of refrain
and love unmeasured
not a world deranged
and a childhood untreasured...

13361113

Tears no glue

I broke you
like a toy
too fragile
to mend
tears no glue
to fix you

13181113

Fly or Fall

I turned to the angels
my act of redemption
my last leap of faith
either I'd fly or I'd fall
how else to right all the wrong?
praying to change the path
I'd been on....

13151113

My pardon

Boxed away
and forgotten
the trouble
I caused
until,
your reminding
pardon...
on my dying
day...

12581113

A simple mistake

I wore obsession
over my eyes
a blinding mask
too hard to remove
and see the lies
for what they were...
fooling myself so easy
in a stupor of blame
my stone cast
to ripple through
the pond of my life
hurting many
in ripple's wake
all over a simple mistake

12501113

Face it

I was blind
and loved to blame
him and him and her
mom and dad
brother and sister
my children too
life and life and life
all wrong turns
always in front of me
me the victim
me the wronged
angry, and hurt
building baggage
bulging over the years
never once stopping
to look in the mirror
to take some responsibility
to cast aside my hostility
until it was too late
to change my path
to set things right
left to pray for forgiveness
in forgetful declining years...

12371113



Erased

You looked different in the morning light
not so charming, surely some mistake
removed from the smoke and haze
of the blaring dance club dub night
you slithered away, an appalling snake
laundered sheets, you've been erased

12251113

Sharing

I love you
yet there are those
who want to share
themselves
with me...
to let me be part
of their world
now and then
and for a time
awhile
maybe more
or not too long at all...
how can I refuse
someone
the right to be kind
to me
or is it because
I need
people to be kind
to me
love me
share with me
their lives
themselves...

04301975

Thursday, November 28, 2013

A last goodbye

Slowly we made love
with tears in our eyes
it was our last time
it was our goodbye

Bare Bark

I've walked along
this road
for a long time now.
I know I'll have to turn somewhere,
or, perhaps,
turn back
to my beginnings.

Along the way
the leaves have fallen off of me,
so I walk this road
with only the bare bark
of my own winter.
It's the last that is left of me
and
the best.

07031975

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Life is an adventure

You are in the discovery zone, here to find your spirit and your purpose. You have your lifetime to fulfill it. Each step along the way is important in your search. Travel with loving care.

Examine each new find as a clue in your development. As a step along the way to who you are to become. A constantly evolving process. Each day is important along the way. Live it fully, consciously, joyfully.

Nothing is common, least of all ourselves. No two things are exactly alike. Find the uniqueness in your world around you and in yourself. You truly are one-of-a-kind, as is your purpose.

You are here to do an errand for God that He chose no one else, but you, to do. How special that makes each of us. And all we pass along the way in life will somehow be affected by our journey.

Even the slightest encounter can be important for we know not the difference we may make in another's life. Always be your best authentic self. The you that no one else can be.

Make your choices consciously for they cause ripples in the universe of life. Keep a journal if you choose. It can be a road map of your journey of spiritual enlightenment. You are the documentarian and it is your personal adventure.

You are the featured player. All others are supportive players, bit players or perhaps for a time co-stars. You may be the producer and director, but the Divine is the screen writer and the casting coach. But most importantly, the creator.

Be aware of the synchronicity in life, it may be a cue or a clue. No one can ever upstage us and the unknown is but the next act waiting to be played.

Be ready for act two be releasing the baggage of the past production that we may create anew, unburdened, a continuing development of the self we are here to be, true to our purpose.

04241999

I'll be the shoulder

Go my children
learn for yourselves
what you were too young
to understand....
May you be stronger than me
should heartbreak and loss
cross your path...
If not, I'll be the shoulder
for you to cry on...
the one I never had...

12391113

On the town

I've been out there once or twice
it's almost like going to a
department store for human beings.
We are all beautifully packaged,
with painted on smiles,
advertising our own needs.

There is something irreverent
about my seductive masquerades,
hiding loneliness
with nippled t-shirts
and missing you....

02141978

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Riding the river

Faded yesterdays
ride along the river
taking memories away
from this aging drifter
poet old and gray
waiting to be delivered

12491113

Grave of lost love

The grave of lost love
held me for too long
fitting like a glove
until my youth was gone

12451113

and the sun warms me

I have my storms
and my calms
at times the rain of tears flow
and other times
I am as in a fog
the scars I have earned
are the freeways
that blotch my life
having been traveled by others
who have only passed through
and I stretch out
upon myself
and the sun warms me
awake... each day

04291977

Love's Chore

You left me at love's door
closed it behind
to be opened no more
how did it feel to walk away?
It took less courage
then to love and stay...
We did compliment each other well
enjoyed our brief times together
that is until...
you took the stars out of the sky
made life all darkness
and said goodbye
it really can't matter anymore
if cobwebs are growing
around love's sweet door
unburdened, falling
through life's floor
surely broken and unfeeling
such was love's chore

03291977

New old friend

Sometimes it seems
as though I've been everywhere,
as though I'm returning again
knowing who I'll experience
and why.

I know I've known him before,
there must have been a time,
a moment alone
on an elevator
or across a room... forgotten.

We did touch each other once before.
He's a brand new
old friend.

11141971

Monday, November 25, 2013

A million miles

A million miles
of imagination
crossed in a flash
just a dream
this life
that passed so fast

12521113

discovery

Should I explain
the unexplainable
or should I omit
my thoughts burying them
in the sand
covered with footprints
washed away
eroded by the beach waters
the bones of yesteryears
ground into particles
sifted through
my fingers...
settling again
to be left
for others
to discover tomorrow....

04271977

The Phantom

I'm so lonely for you
for what we had
what you were to me
the sun, moon, stars
my very breath...
night has swallowed me
and spits me out again
I don't trust men anymore
they're a lie...
spoken in a raspy voice
across the distance
no one touches me again
deep inside where you did
you are the phantom
who molests me in my dreams
I crawl into the shell of me
and shut the world out....

03251977

Elevator World

I ride my life
in an elevator world
with so many
ups and downs
hardly ever stopping
at any floor
shut in that
small cubicle
by myself
pushing the buttons
occasionally someone
steps in for the ride
but only briefly
the cords hum
with movement
"what floor please"
I ask myself
I would like to
be able to say...
to tell myself
where to go...

03201977

too far from home

Take me home
rescue me
I'm lost and wandering
too far from
the place I need to be

05491113

Nobody's waiting anywhere

I walk slowly
not because I'm tired
but because nobody's waiting
anywhere.
I don't even wear a watch
because I never have to know what time it is.
There isn't a road
or a plane
I wouldn't take
looking to find somewhere brighter
than where I am.

People try to reach me
but there is so little left
I cannot respond.

Yet,
when I stop to talk
or touch
I leave slowly,
not because I'm tired,
but because
nobody's waiting
anywhere

10111977

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Tea in the garden

Tea in the garden
lost tranquility
weed choked Eden
our fallen harmony
there are no pardons
no saving testimony
just a sole carpenter
trying to set us free

10461113

The dance of youth

The dance of youth
slowly ends
the music fading
drifting away
the last notes
linger slightly
gentle reminders
of earlier times

10361113

The ultimate freedom

Freedom
is more
than a word
sounding in the distance
more than a child
kicking in the womb
more than tears
falling over life's changes
freedom
is to understand
we're all the same
we fall like rain
upon this land
to feed the earth...
we are all
born to die
and death
is the ultimate
freedom.

07041969

Saturday, November 23, 2013

I did

They said
I couldn't
They said
I shouldn't
I did....
and it made
all the difference
in the world

20241113

True Tragedy

My impossible dreams
still with me after decades
forgetting easier each day
but giving up betrays
a soul that never tried
to soar, to fly
and that's true tragedy...

20201113

Strangely Happy

This dark age surrounds me
yet I sit in peaceful bliss
unburdened and free
memories falling into an abyss
leaving me strangely happy

20161113

Raindrops

The sun shines
thru
the raindrops
on the window
making them twinkle
like little stars
the stars
at night
must be raindrops
twinkling
on the windows
of heaven...

04291973

Friday, November 22, 2013

Porous

You are man
impossible at coping
with today's tears....
You are made of
steel hard and cold
I am china... I break
so easily... fragile
veins porous with love
I am woman....
pregnant with wanting
you... him without feelings
writing poems of yesterday
hoping for tomorrows
with you to fill me...

03261977

Counterfeit

I've grown into
an unwilling
counterfeit...
I cannot accept
myself as I am
I make advances
inch by inch
into mornings, changes
each day bringing
small differences
until...
I no longer
will be myself

04271977

and for you

It's so hard
holding you
knowing that
love for me
is more than mere illusions
and for you
it is a dream
that's just begun

05271973

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Suits Me

In a game of cards
I'd be the Queen of Hearts
it comes quite naturally
the jack is male
the king is male
so it's all quite figuratively
the other queens are much too dark
and the one of diamonds
is much too quadrangily
the rest of the cards
as far as I can see
are much too numerically
to ever be just me...

04031977

Tranquilizers of yesteryears

I feed on memories
tranquilizers of yesteryears
sitting at the bottom of myself
I couldn't have gone much lower
I always return to the same subject
you... written in variegated colors
Sex with you... I couldn't have climbed higher
and the rest of the times were just as good
It shocked so many to realize
we were having an affair
In fact I don't believe it myself
it was really too brief to be an affair
I guess it was only a dream...

03311977

Wishing a little

Someone told me
that there is only one
real love
you ever really get
in your life
and most of the time
you never get to
fulfill it
for it seldom stays
and so you find some else
someone who is second
and adjust
and make do
and live the rest of
your life in relative happiness
now and then thinking
and wondering
and wishing a little
for that one love
you wanted
so very much.

06021975

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

They could not stay

Until death demise me
I will walk this floor
never wanting, never needing
anyone... anymore
Alone I walk to where I go
my friends of yesterday
gone to other times and places
they found they could not stay...

00000000

A simple thing

Love is a simple thing
not a mountain you must climb
but a gentle butterfly
come to sit softly on your shoulder
It isn't bound to the ground
but flies free
with wings as light as your heart
It is not an accumulation of much
but an enjoyment of simple things
flowers... sunlight
and freedom
Unchained from everyday worries
by joining your hearts together
blown on the breeze
of the goodness of giving
Love doesn't ask much
but gives all
and if left unattended
flies away
its wings carrying it further
than the eye of the unloving...
Let me light on your shoulder
my love...

03261977

Mercy

Angel of death
show me some mercy
when you come for me
as I draw my last breath

08061113

Honor your life

Honor yourself by keeping your home in order, your finances in order, and your life in order. Pay your debts in a timely manner, affirming your belief in God's abundance.

Keep your home as if a guest may appear at any time for you never know when angels will call unawares. Honor all aspects of self: physical, mental, and spiritual.

Be moderate in all things that your health is not compromised. Be cleanly in all things. Walking not only is good exercise but a chance to enjoy the beauty of the universe.

Breathe deeply, admire the flowers, trees, listen to the birds, notice the rabbits that come out at dusk, the night owls that hoot. Be at peace. Take time to read to expand your mind.

Take time to meditate, to pray, to be whole in spirit. When preparing food make not only wholesome, but attractive meals. Even if you're dining alone. Eat at the table on china, add flowers to the table.

Never forget to give thanks for what you receive and to end your day being grateful for the blessings of that day. There are always, at least, five things to be grateful for.

Recognize your gifts which are blessings from God and honor those talents by using them to His great good. Waste not your life in idleness, gossip, bigotry, or negativity, but practice a life of loving and giving and following the spiritual path.

Do not be in fear for your Heavenly Father is always near and will provide for you. Practice faith, knowing and trusting in the Lord. Treat others with the kindness that you wish to receive yourself.

Smile often, it's a gift you can give freely to all who pass your way. Honor your relationships with friends and family for what you give, you also receive.

Everything in the universe is God's creation, honor its existence. Walk with the angels and be at peace.

04201999

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

After I go

In between moments
faces beckon from the past
some call them visions
others call them ghosts
still I like their visits
they help me pass the time
some ask me to join them
others just stop to say hello
my time to haunt must wait
until after I go....

05061113

Monday, November 18, 2013

Angels Call

Angels call
when I'm alone
to answer prayers
and wait for me
and to one day
take me home...

12511113

Old Poems

Old poems
kindle my fire
once confessions
of burning desire
to ash they're going
lost love's concession

12471113

Never Happened

I could not bear it
to think I would not see
you again... I want you
awfully... Is that bad?
It is such an ordeal
these past few months
unable to be intimate
with you... my whole life
seems like something
impossibly nice...
that never happened....

01151977

Happy

I should love so:
...to see you
...to talk with you
...oh to love you
I am so sure:
... that we're right
...that I love you, completely
...that it will last
I have no doubts anymore,
it keeps growing
and I am happy...

01301964

Dark clouds of age

Dark clouds of age
surround me in forgetting
fogging my vision
blanketing today
time has done its stealing
memories wiped from the page
leaving a wake of confusion
until my dying day...

05501113

Celebrate Life

Take time to celebrate life. Your's, your loved ones, friends and family. Spend time together in joy. Quality time need not be an expense. A simple walk admiring the beauty around you is enough.

Invite others to accompany you on a drive or just window shopping. Keep love alive through frequent communication. If we love someone, they are worth the time.

There is nothing that can replace the sound of their voice. But also write out your adventures, your love and share your life on paper. Letters and cards are treasures we can read and reread and little gift surprises can make our day.

They may not be expensive, but they say I care. Send photos, especially ones with a smile. They gladden the heart. And pictures of events and travels share where you've been and what you're doing.

For your birthday plant a tree that you may see it grow in coming years. Plant bulbs and flowers as it is a celebration of new life, new growth and the beauty of creation.

To care for a litter of kittens or puppies is to share the birth and growth process of the heart. For they certainly win ours with their wonder at everything they encounter, their first clumsy steps, their playfulness with each other, their licks and laps, their purrs and barks.

Of course nothing celebrates life more profoundly than giving birth to your own child or the joy of watching them grow and to share in their accomplishments. Of teaching and learning but most importantly, of loving.

Of drying tears, sharing laughter. Time together is precious. Don't waste it while you are waiting for better opportunities. True friends are precious gifts that enhance our lives with their presence, giving, and sharing.

Each day is a new beginning, a reason to celebrate and give thanks.

04171999

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Jeffrey

Such a good dad
and loving father
he'd give all he had
and try harder
for his family
a mom couldn't be prouder
of a son who loves so lavishly

02152005

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Michelle

Daughter
loving mom
enjoy life's blessings
with each breaking dawn
hear the singing waters
fill your heart with joy and laughing
may you know splendor and wonder
and love everlasting...

05262002

Friday, November 15, 2013

Darkened last options

The lure of the shadows
darkened last options
always waiting....
always calling...
for the weak
for the fallen
to enter the void....

11461113

On Hold

I've held
for more
options
and assistance
patiently
for eons it seems
only to find
no one
on the other end

12421113

Under the rug

Under the rug
you'll find dark
secrets hiding
from the light
settled in dust
an undoing
should they
be revealed

12401113

Endless sameness

Lies... written on
prescription pads
addiction his mistress
suffering his game
of numbness
and delusion
an endless sameness

12351113

until the skies clear

Today the rain does fall
along with my tears
of lost love recalled
and joys and fears
and so I bawl
until the skies clear...

12141113

Truly Alive

It's the hurt
that has cut
deeply
It's the joy
that has carried
me
It's the pain
of love
and the tears
that come
afterward
that have
made me
feel truly
alive

12081113

The Rain

The rain
washes down
the sun
sits behind a cloud
and tears fall
sadly
gladly
and I'm real
and live
and breathe
and flow
and the rain washes down
my feet touch the ground
there's a sound
in my heart
I love you....

07031965

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Star in your life

Stop making heroes of hulks, of glamorizing violence. Be conscious in your life and teach consciousness and responsibility to those around your. Cause and effect. Teach joy and faith. Praise accomplishment.

Learn self fulfillment and love. Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. Find the good in others. Be grateful in all things and look for the blessings, not the misfortunes. Ask for help, especially spiritual guidance, for the divine is always listening and waiting for our call.

Look for your true purpose, not an easy out. We are the artists of our life, create it with care. See the beauty in small things around you. Be aware and in awe of the very miracles of life itself.

Take time to reflect. Make each day a new discovery. See the beauty and self-worth in who you are, a unique individual created to achieve a purpose that only your can attain.

Consider your growth, education, goals as a personal investment. You are an asset to the world around you, discover your attributes God has given you.

Take time to be quiet and go within. To seek the spiritual in the universal. Discover what you love in life what you do well. What are the gifts you have been given?

Let God in your heart that you may grow. Open your mind that you may better see. Live your life making each day count. Take time to commune with nature and to truly see, in full awareness, how God provides for all his creation, and that there is a place for everything in life.

It is not the dramas that make life what it is, but the small everyday joys that create an abundance of blessings. Make your world a thing of beauty and you will be the star.

04231999

Turn off and turn on

We seem to be awash in a storm of violence where we turn. The nightly T.V. announces it as regularly as the weather report. War, drive-bys, robberies, rapes, murder, mass murder in ever increasing numbers. But the hardest to understand is the violent crimes committed by mere children.

Where has the world gone wrong that the children of the world are so lost? What have we failed to teach them: of love one another; of respect for our differences; of being God's children; of an abhorrence to violence; of soul, of self, of spirit. We should not be saturating the young with violence whether it be on the news, movies, videos or our own sense of prejudice.

To allow this is a form of child abuse in itself. We need to protest and loudly, to boycott conspicuously and to teach values clearly. What happened to the family that prays together? What happened to parental awareness? What happened to "bring the children to me"?

Those that love God do not love violence. Those that follow the saints learn to seek peace. Those that are taking time to pray are not using that time to hurt, harm, kill and maim. Are we becoming desensitized through saturation? Are we so immune that we know the proper tributes to bring to sites of violent mass destruction?

Will someone write a book of etiquette for community mourning? Not only do we need to learn to take back our neighborhoods bot to regain our families. Do we know where our children are? What they are doing? and with whom?

Turn off the T.V. and turn on the communication. Pray together each day. Give our children less things and more love. Be involved as a family. Take time  to do things together. Take time not only to lecture but to listen, truly listen, and to teach.

04221999

Touch

There is
a language
that is touch
which consoles
comforts
lends a hand
holds a sigh
wipes a tear
shelters one
against a fear
makes love to the
one beloved
hugs a why
kisses goodbye
the voice of touch
which knows no words
whispers in silence
seeking the spirit...

05261962

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Another day

My house faced
the rising sun's
eastward greetings
I'd watch it race
and sing and strum
until it's light was fleeting
thankful for its grace
another day is done

12341113

Music Boxes

Music boxes
play little tunes
without really
knowing why
sort of like humans
I think
music boxes
only sing
when they flip
their lids
sort of like humans
I think
humans get wound up
sort of like
music boxes
I think...

12021970

The calm man

The calm man
prevails
long after violence
has subdued the violence
and the heart
of the warrior
is heavy and burdened
with his loss
his gain
the calm man remains
quietly unmoved
untouched by
the evolution of life...

11281972

The Climb

I think of the way you moved to me,
the patent way you brought me with
you
to climb...
I guess it only happens like that
once in a lifetime

The way we opened up
to let each other in
and the way we closed again,
like petals
not like people

We were there,
you and I
I wonder if we'll ever
climb that high
again...

03171976

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

It happens

I'm a little
dead inside
it happens
when love
disappears...

12041113

When I cry

I know you thought I cried too long
it isn't you
or anything you said or did
it's just that sometimes
when I cry
I go back and lose everything
I ever lost... again
it isn't you
it's just my beginnings
crashing into my endings...

08131969

Monday, November 11, 2013

Those first promises

What a vicious good thing it was,
that spring when
we made those first promises...
before we were wrapped in arms
that didn't care what we looked like.
Our place held more love
than any one place
at any one time...
Even then we know (didn't we?)
how valuable that time would seem to us later...

12131980

My Friend

In you
I had a wonderful friend,
the most inventive masochist couldn't
imagine the collective pain
we experienced.
What happened to one of we
happened to both of us.
We were like one person
with four legs.
We were more than friends.
We cried together,
we laughed like I've never laughed again,
we really loved each other,
at least I thought so...

03061971

Only as a friend

I have a friend
and he loves me
but only as a friend

01031971

Polite Indifference

It is not always the absence of love
that makes me seem alone,
often it's been too much love
given to me by the wrong people
for the wrong reasons
that keeps me here,
gladly alone,
rather than have the life sucked
out of me by the violent needs
of other minds and bodies
that does not mean
that I'm not grateful...
but I am sad
not to be able to put my arms
around those who truly loved me
and give them something more
than polite indifference.
Oh, how I tried.
I think they should know
I tried...
and I choose to be alone
rather than wrapped in arms
I could never need.

12021976

Salty Streaks

Memories wash away with tears
warmly rolling down my cheeks
until they dry and disappear
leaving only salty streaks
of each of those long away years

0551113

Just in case

You're so much more important
to me than any work I'll ever do...

and just so you know
I would have rather been your
lady than anything I'll ever be...

and just in case you ever think
nobody does,
"I Love You".

05261976

Sunday, November 10, 2013

It was nice meeting you

I lost you in passing days
of forgetting, scrambled
memories, some faded
some not, and all those
moments seemed to
leave me out....
in the cold
of non-existence
beyond my understanding
past my pleading
for just some recognition
not for things I'd done
just for who I was
your daughter
you couldn't see me
or make that connection
all you had to say was
"it was nice meeting you"
my only reply was
"you too, goodbye"...

09361113

Inherited Moments

The way he turns,
the way he gives me words
to go to sleep with...

Did he inherit moments
from other times?
another face
or mind?

Surely he must have learned
how to love me
by loving someone else...

05291976

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Separate Unity

There is a way
a kind of separate unity,
that keeps people together
alone...
He is free
and so am I
love does not imprison us
it lets us go
It's far more peaceful
and infinitely more secure
knowing we are together
because we want to be
and not
because we have to be...

06111971

Friday, November 8, 2013

Picking Flowers

He who picks a flower
has not found the earth
to be his home...

03111968

Meeting

When I met you
I just knew
I'd never be the same
When I lost you
I felt the same,
too...

12191113

In your eyes

In your eyes
I see all
the people
I've ever loved...

06301972

Chin in the clouds

Pretend you're the queen of the world
and all else are beneath you
when you're way up there
with your chin in the clouds
no one can walk on you
it's when you come down to earth
and they find out that you're vulnerable
they look for your achilles heel
and strike you dead.

06221976

Thursday and Friday

It was on a Thursday
when you drew your last breath
It was on a Friday
when I tried to face your death

07581113

You're not here

I'm raw with emotion
I'm numb with tears
I see you everywhere
but you're not here

07011113

Left Behind

For those of us
left behind
may your star
in heaven
light our way
back to you
and guide us
in between
until
that final day

05531113

Nourished Dreams

There are places
within a man
no woman could ever know
at the bottom of himself... somewhere
broken faces
and dreams he's nourished
since he was wide-eyed
and ten
and believing in everything....

06111977

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Deep Freeze

My sorrow has been so heavy
I have to strain to breathe
the loss of you doesn't equate
my world thrown into a deep freeze
a silent suffering to contemplate

06111113

Division

I did not mean to contaminate
his life with my complications
with my own confusion,
to allow his need for me
to encourage the collective myths
little girls are fed for breakfast
I did not unite with him
so that he must divide himself...
He only meant to love me,
he did not mean to come this far...

06111977

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

A new star

Heaven gained a new star
with your passing away
now the skies are blessed
with a new soul to shine
giving joy and light to all
just as you did for me

12471113

The sun always rises

The sun always rises
illuminating the way
casting out the shadows
of the troubles we encounter
bringing us a brand new day

12441113

Sometimes we're helpless to help

There are times when we feel helpless and frustrated, especially when a loved one a friend is struggling with an addiction, in an abusive relationship or is unfairly treated at work or home.

When our children are small we can lead and guide them, but when they are grown we cannot make them follow where they refuse to go, even if it's for their own good or for the best outcome.

We can only be prepared to be there if they reach out and to pray for their welfare. Oftentimes they are aware that they are on a downward spiral, that their behavior is self destructive, and yet choose (not always consciously) to continue in the same vein.

You cannot protect them from themselves. Oh, if you are near you can take the keys away, but you may not always be there. Ask their angels to watch over, not only them, but those they encounter along the way.

Pray that others will intervene when you cannot. And pray to God to show them the way and that they may open their heart to follow.

Sometimes we have to pray for that bottom they're supposed to hit that they may climb up out of it. It may be hard to pray for someone to fail so that they may eventually win, but at times it is the necessity. Put it in God's hand and in the hands of the angels.

For we ourselves cannot always accompany them to the depths that they are going. And we need but realize, no one ever travels the road of life alone. We have free will, and free won'ts as well. The best and truest will is allowing the will of God and accepting the better outcome than we would choose for ourselves.

Do not be an enabler, do not abet destructive behavior. At times we are required to be silent lest we drive loved ones away. Know always when you stand with God He will send you guides and all will be well.

04201999

Stars some say

Angels fill the night sky
stars some call them
shining down on us
answering prayers
and guiding us in the dark

05491113

In the green valley

The loneliest place
I've ever been
was not when
I was alone...

It was in a room
in the green valley
where I was in love
with someone
who wasn't in love
with me...

06111977

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Slow Down

There days when we seek silence and serenity. We we slow down to be at peace. Put on some Gregorian Chants, soft music, soothing symphonies. Burn incense, or fragrant oils to clarify. Bring in some fresh flowers simply for their beauty. Read a book that you've been waiting to find the time for.

Take a solitary walk in nature. Just be. This is a time for contemplation and nurturing. Pamper yourself. Fix your favorite comfort foods. Relax. Restore. Remember. You deserve moments that honor your spirit. To be unfettered and unburdened.

All things will wait. Shut off the phone if necessary. When the soul seeks rest, honor it as you would the request of someone most dear.

Remember God loves you and did not put you here for the purpose to hurry and scurry through life. But to be conscious in it, to breathe it in awareness. To slow down that you may better see. To quiet yourself that you may take the time to know. To seek silence that you may better hear. To seek calm that you may truly feel. And in this serenity you discover a sense of being more alive than in all your hurried accomplishments.

Outdoors you actually notice the cloud's movements, the caress of a breeze, the crisp, clear fragrance of nature. Nothing is rushed but evolves. Flowers slowly open to the warmth of the day. Bees go from blossom to blossom collecting their nectar, not hurrying in their gathering.

The sun rises and takes a whole day before it sets again making its way slowly across the sky. At night it will be replaced by the moon and stars and bathe us in their golden glow. And the night creatures come out to feed and frolic.

Life is a cycle. We need not always hurry through it, but take time to let it envelop us in its great mystery and beauty. This is truly life.

04181999

One of those days

We all have bad news days. Ones that cause us to fret and fear. The purpose of fear, truly, is to remind us to trust. There is a purpose to everything under the sun, and to every event in our existence.

Have faith that God will help you to handle it. That He can achieve the best outcome. Look for the lesson in what occurs. What are we here to learn? What is God showing us that we missed knowing? How can we grow through the experience?

Some things we worry about are not our lessons to learn, but other's. Because they are our children, or family, someone we love, a good friend we take upon ourselves the events that unfold in their life.

We forget that everything is not about us. Sometimes all we need to do is listen. Sometimes people don't want advice, just a sympathetic ear and heart.

What we can do is pray for their guidance, strength, and that they may learn and grow through what they came here to know, and that they may evolve in spirit on their journey in life.

We don't have all the answers, or all the wisdom for we too are only human. We are here to learn, to remember, and to progress.

Sometimes what we consider, at first, bad news turns out to be a blessing in disguise. A life changing event to a new and better path. Or a wake up call when we're on the wrong one. A time to reevaluate our priorities, our values, our mistakes, our goals and what is truly important.

Bad news can be a spirit call that brings us into alignment with the divine. We may learn to let go, to discover "thy will, not my will" may lead to greater happiness and peace.

We may rediscover a talent, a forgotten dream that we were meant to cultivate, use, and share that we may make a difference in the lives of others. Something we buried on the rollercoaster of life. It could be a good news day, unrecognized.

04191999

Ghosts

We caught the train in Paris
and headed towards the coast
seeking out the chalice
and to the past drink a toast
in an ancient palace
filled with our ancestor's ghosts

08031113

Unspoken is love

He loves me...
He never has to say it out loud.
He loves me by staying with me
when all the doors are open,
by walking across a room
to touch my hair... or my face,
and by letting go of my hand,
and not wanting to.

06111976

Monday, November 4, 2013

Find Yourself

To discover the mystery of our true self is a journey in itself, for as adults we've learned to project what others expect. We often hide behind we we do: wife, mother, grandmother, business woman, nurse, counselor, shopper, laundry maid, housekeeper, and on and on.

But we are more than what we do or the partnerships we are committed to and the families we tend. We get so caught up in serving others we forget ourselves and what we need to nurture our authentic self, our spirit, our inner child.

We need to take time to heal old wounds so that we may grow. We need to take time to pamper the spirit that we may blossom. We need to take time for ourselves to remember who we are and not just what needs to be done.

We need time for silent meditation to go within, to recapture our dreams and remember we too have desires. We need to take time to soak and bathe, to polish and shine, to pray and be at peace so we don't forget, we too, are a beautiful child of God.

We need to take time to play, to reconnect with our joy. To take time to read, to feed our intellect. We need to take time in nature to reconnect with the universe and the abundance of beauty God has created.

We need time to feel small, loved, protected and comforted and remember we are never alone for the divine keeps us in His loving care and is just waiting for us to seek Him.

We need time to express our gratitude daily for it opens our eyes to living instead of just doing. We need to take time for music for it feeds the soul.

We need to take time to laugh and love for that is part of our nature. It's okay to run barefoot on the beach, to climb in a swing and to try to touch the sky, for there is an imp in all of us.

Take time to plant and watch things grow for it is speaking to mother earth. Take time to find yourself, the real you is not lost, just neglected, but not forgotten.

04161999