Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I'm reduced

I'm reduced by a heartless world
suffering from the folly of fools
who rejoice in hatred and cruelty


The embers still burn

Look at me... look at me
this thing you fear most
my love for you is pure
not spoiled, or tainted,
or shabby in some way
else it would not endure
without the fire here...
but the embers still burn,
on their own...they still glow
Look at me...look at me
this rapture in my heart
will continue...this I know.


Monday, April 29, 2013

Love moved in

Love moved into the space
where apprehension once


My shell of dreams

You have taught me so well
you showed me heaven
you showed me hell
you showed me what love can be
and then you took it away from me
my shell of dreams washed out to sea


Sunday, April 28, 2013


it takes courage to overcome
it drives away our dreams
it keeps us from our potential


The safety of death

The safety of death awaits
to liberate and set us free
from this life meant to teach
and nourish our souls...


Fear, pain, and reality

The fear I lived with
that one day
you would reject me
and be gone
has now become
The pain I awaited
is here...
I used to wonder
what I would do
without you
if this happened...
now I just
what am I


Saturday, April 27, 2013

I gave you up

I gave you up
cut the ties
stopped the notes
no more roses
or calls
or wanting to
see you
I stopped
that you would
some day
care to
see me...
No more illusions
all it took
was giving up
my dreams
and you
and that
took a
Hell of a lot...


Friday, April 26, 2013

Pain is thicker than blood

Blood is thicker than pain
a battered and tattered ruin
whose tears fall like rain
suffering has become doctrine

My dreams haunting goblins
better forgotten than misunderstood
the memory of you a toxin
oh, this pain is thicker than blood


This time it's different

Limbo must feel like this
all life falling down around you
it's happened before
then I just felt numb
but there was always
a small spark of hope
and I always survived...
now I feel as if in total desolation
eroding from inside
crumpling down around myself
and I don't care
or hope
for love again...
You'll never be totally
out of me
maybe that's why
this time it's different


Thursday, April 25, 2013

How lonely it must be

How lonely it must be
searching for happiness,
unaware of the beauty you possess,
never realizing how much warmth
you really give.
If I could,
I would show you
how you are
through my eyes.
Then you could see
how important you are.
My world is happy
because of you.


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The greatest gift

The greatest gift
you can give me is
the opportunity for me
to be me and for me to
let you be you.


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Time has won

I glanced back
and you were gone
now at the end of the track
the race is over, time has won


You say you love me

You say you love me,
that you accept me,
but why do you frown
when I act differently?
Can't you accept
the different sides of me?
I must change as I love.
Don't ask me to sacrifice my growth
to meet your expectations.
I am what I am.
If you do love me,
you'll understand.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Songs of morning

A single bird in song
outside my window
tells me it will be daylight
soon, very soon
and this sleepless night
will fade out of the room
A single bird in song
outside my window
brings morning to the world


Time is a villain

The only villain I face now is time,
it steals from me daily...


You love me today

Whenever I think of you
I find myself
drifting through time,
aware of everything
you are.
You love me today,
what more could I want?


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Morning Glow

The morning glow of an approaching day
clear skies await soon to take me away


With each loss

Atonement is real
with each loss
released to mourn
these remaining years
eyes wide open
and filled with tears



I think
that I'm not really present
in my own life,
as though it goes on
without my permission.

although I don't want to die,
I want to stop
I want to climb
into the other side
of my face
and observe my experiences
without having them.

and only once in a while,
I want to stop living,
but I really don't want
to die...


The faithful will see the fire

The faithful will see the fire
this burning sinful world
that feeds on darkness and desire


Apparitions of truth

Visions are simple
apparitions of truth
sent to guide us
in the time of youth


The secrets of the stars

The secrets of the stars
await those with open hearts
and limitless imagination


Strengthen my heart

Strengthen my heart
give me defenses
to protect me
in my journey
this wicked


The Tempest

The tempest never sleeps
always waiting in the wings
to turn the world inside out


Because someone smiles

The in-between time
after love has gone
is filled with wonderment,
waiting for the heart
to cry out again in joy
because someone smiles
and says hi...


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Your lips a sweet memory

Your lips a sweet memory
so soft and supple still
in my dreams call to me
like a mist give me chills
so tightly woven, our history


Save your tears

Our distance years
slowly fading away
save your tears
for another day...


Angels fill the skies

Angels fill the skies
beckoned by our cries
salvation has arrived


The language of dreams

The language of dreams
speaking in strange tongues
like the water of mountain springs
or the melody of winds softly sung
whisper to me until the hour of waking


To your heart be ture

What shall I call you,
my dear first born,
under these skies so blue,
take this world by storm,
and to your heart be true...


You were remembered today

I remembered your birthday
you seemed surprised at my call
the sadness in your voice gave it away
just be brave and stand tall
you were remembered today


No time for love

There's no time
for real love
as we rush
to and fro
life not lived
on hold


Two hearts touching

I wonder if you realize
how much I care for you?
I want to make this your day,
a tribute to you.
A time so share...
a gentle smile,
a soft caress
and a tenderness
of two hearts
on this day.


Friday, April 19, 2013

The key to foreverness

Our judgement will define eternity
how we lived and loved
what we took and what we gave
from birth to death
through smiles and tears
our life the key to foreverness


A brief encounter

I needed the right words,
and you the right time...
neither of us got that,
and so a brief encounter
never became anything more


A feeling of peace

There seems to be a gentle feeling of peace
within my soul for you today.
I saw the ocean,
and for a brief moment,
I understood.


Thursday, April 18, 2013


To find the one I searched for,
to find the love I've wanted,
to live the life I now have
has made me content...


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

It will be alright

The illumination of an unknown light
stirred me from my dreams last night
and whispered softly it will be alright


Pray be gone

Pray be gone
this mortal coil
the restraining bond
against which we toil
Pray be gone
all that embroils


The wicked glory of man

Evil finds glory
in wicked deeds
and their dark stories
of corruption and greed
in which there's no glory
and nary a soul freed


Too riddled to be fixed

I am determined to come out...
of this love affair... sane.  Although
the loneliness is terrible... and
I want to miss you so.
I've vowed not to call or...
see you again... I feel as
though I need to put patches
on my heart like an inner tube
filled with holes... sometimes
things are just too riddled...
to be fixed... like me... I don't
think I'll ever be whole again.


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Length of my world

You're playing a running game
and I'm trying patience...
I lay the length of my world
it has been so long since
we were together...
It takes such patience to just
wait, wait, wait...
to see whether
you will enter my life again...
to wait for a phone call
oh, to see you is such a strain..
I sit here in this room unlived
from a life that seems far away
no one to comfort me when I cry
I'm all alone today...
I realize nothing emotional now
I fight so hard for self control
to keep the flood of memories away
seems to be my immediate goal...
I don't want to think of tomorrow
and all the days to come
time left me when you did
so now I'm just numb...
There is no change of mood or tone
I am here... here I am.... Alone
or so I thought, until you fell
into the past and the world opened
and life in glory rang my bell
and cast its magic spell
and my journey began again...


Monday, April 15, 2013

Dreams tempt and tease

Dreams tempt and tease
wild is the imagination
that does what it pleases
in a world with no salvation


I'm trying

I am utterly broken, and yet
I can't face the truth of it
...that you don't want to see me
ever again...
I could not bare my heart...
if I didn't feel that somehow
it will help me to understand.
I want to blame myself...
what did I do wrong...if
I did things differently...?
...Oh, Well...
Will I be able to remain open?
...To subject myself to further hurt?
I can only say...
...I'm trying


Sunday, April 14, 2013

A dream came true today

A dream came true today
after eons of wait and delay
all obstacles melted away


Aurora Borealis

Aurora Borealis
these northern lights
we shared in bliss
an unforgotten night
that ended with a kiss


The journey is the lesson

The seeker sought enlightenment
down a long and lonely road....
For this would bring fulfillment,
fill the void, warm the cold...
On and on and on she went
until she grew weak, frail, and old


Where the heart excels

How can I put into words
the agony I feel?
it's unreal
and the joy I feel?
it's unreal
for words fail
in these matters
where the heart excels


Saturday, April 13, 2013

Chaos is the world we make

Chaos is the world we make
nature has other plans
and just doesn't listen
her order beyond our understanding


Friday, April 12, 2013

A memory tomorrow

Today will be a pleasant memory
because we cared enough to give
the only thing we have,


The tyranny of time

The calendar and clock
held me hostage for too long
the tyranny of time
at last broken
finding freedom
on the other side


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Reminders of us

These walls, black and blue
my loneliness sees me through
all reminders of me and you


These dimensions

These dimensions
height, depth, width
hold no reality
hold no future
save no souls
only faith does that


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Endless Winter

There is no comfort...
No easy way to recover
...from the loss of you.
The first days were bad,
true, but not the worst.
For then I was crying
...out of disbelief.
Then my heart grieved
and I was all raw
...nerve endings...
vulnerable to everything.
It was as if part of me
...had died.
For me it is as if an
endless winter has set
in without you...
Nothing blooms anywhere.
It is a dark, soundless,
wordless, chasm...
I am so painfully vulnerable.
And it is so endless...
The worst is not being
able to care for...anyone
...anymore... I cannot
live on memories...alone.


Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A renewing experience

Birds and deer
my audience
skies so clear
star lined events
spring is here
a renewing experience


The chains of ego

The chains of ego must be broken
if we are to find ourselves and be free
the truth awaits, known and unspoken
we must let go to receive heaven's keys


The holes

The holes of lost love
can't be fixed
The holes of lost memories
can't be patched
The holes of missed opportunities
can't be filled


A turn of events

We were a turn of events
that met at an intersection
that briefly took us off course
and altered our journeys
until time broke our connection
and those times faded away


Paths of love

I am utterly bewildered
at this hurt you created.
You led me alone to the
paths of love... I hesitated.
Not wanting to be a stand-in-lover.
But you convinced me...
When you laid across to cover
my body with your own
and made me desire you
as no one else ever had done.
You created such passion... you surely knew
that what once was two would be one
as you said when we started...
Now to you I did belong.
And when you had parted
and left me alone... and I long
for that sweet touch of you still
when I am empty all inside
who then will come... and my cup fill?
...please say... YOU will.


Monday, April 8, 2013

The Iron Lady

She showed no fear
her resolve firm and steady
her vision focused and clear
such was The Iron Lady


Always Lurking

I cannot touch in my mind
the reality of being without you.
It is like all my nerve
endings are screaming the
agony of it all... I am
tossed between this
uncontrollable physical
emotion... a deep feeling
of loss... and long periods
where I just seem numb
and unfeeling... I try
not to think too much
about it but in the
back of my mind it's
always lurking and ready
to leap out at me...
I feel as though I have
stepped out of life...


Sunday, April 7, 2013

The blessing of forgetfulness

Time seems to play tricks on me
I know there was a time
when I was without him
but I don't feel
as if he were ever not here....
other times he never existed
of that I'm unsure
for time heals old wounds
by blessing us
with forgetfulness


These passing years

Doubt and fear
joy and sorrow
here today, gone tomorrow
these passing years


You will be

You will be
who you will be
it may take time
to make that discovery
that's the truth you'll find


The great beyond

The earth decides where and when
it's arrogance to think she serves our whims
humanity will be dead and gone
before it ever understands the great beyond


Hearts and Souls

The mind knows not the soul
only the heart does
that is the nature of things


Falling to the light

Fear and darkness
fall to the light of truth
that once found, lights our way
reflected in the universe
is wisdom and love
that will keep our demons at bay


Working with clay

Like an artist working with clay
our choices shape our experinces
as they unfold, day by day


Our humanity

Our humanity
will lead us to truth
the clues are within
us, and life itself



In spirit we became one
ours is everything under the sun
eternity has just begun


Our destiny

There's divinity is all things
it surrounds us every day
our destiny to find our way



I know that many of yesterday's
hurts... and disappointments
separate you from me
but it could have been
so right... and it was
for a short time
I haven't weakened
in what I feel for you...
under all the pain
love is still the answer...
for what is in my heart
beats truer
than all the logic in the world...
and is still
just as intense
though time
and distance
separate us...
and who knows
that tomorrow
may bring...


Saturday, April 6, 2013

My fourth dimension

I have been so lonely...
I think of him all the time.
Everywhere I go, Everything
I do... Reminds me somehow
of him... I feel older than
I'll ever be in this lifetime.
It's almost as if time stopped
everywhere, for everyone else
...but for me it has gone out
of whack... and is going faster,
and faster... and I'm in
some desolate fourth...
dimension... all alone
... and I can see all that
is going on but not really
be a part of it... a consequence
created by a... loss of love...


Friday, April 5, 2013

A troubled world

A troubled world
and troubled times
are nothing new...
Hatred and crime
trouble the world
sad but true...


Times with you

I have absolute faith in you
and whatever you decide to do
I thought hat perhaps
we could be together at times
and happy....
I never asked permanence of you
certain moments in my life
stand out... and I'm blue
for I find all the times
I want to remember are the
ones I've spent with you...


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why can't we be friends?

I have tried to get rid of it
This love I have for you
I have abused it....
Cursed it through and through
I have treated it badly
Like you did to me...
Hoping somehow, this way
I would be set free...
of these invisible ties that bind
your life, somehow, to mine.
I wanted to dislike you
since I couldn't hate
but love and you...
resolved my fate...
to love you still, after all
This curse then, love, is my downfall.
It will be with me
until I'm dead as dead can be
and even then...
Will it follow me?
Why can't you make me hate you
at least then...
I could forget I love you
and not want to be your friend.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Loving thy neighbours

Rattle your sabers
bang the war drums
here come the invaders
lyrics of hatred are sung
so much for loving thy neighbours


Spring Celebration

We were baptized
by the spring rains
that caught us by surprise...
Our day of renewal came
and we celebrated its cause


Keeping things

Have I never given anything?
Must it be announced
to really be done?
Do you measure and mete
out quantities
to not give too much?
Like rationing?
Is that how you keep
something for yourself?
Does it increase a thousand fold?


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Circle of time

There is no hurry
in a life eternal
where things forgotten
are remembered
again and again
in a circle of time


At the well

Love, light, and truth
push the darkness away
the well of faith is abundant


Seeing Clearly

It is so beautiful outside
today...the sun is shining
so brilliantly...maybe that's
why everything is blurry
or can it be that these tears
still come mercilessly...to
tell me it's too beautiful to
see clearly... alone

This conjuring works so well,
thinking of you casts a spell,
and again these tears I can quell


Monday, April 1, 2013

Knocking at the door

I must walk through the door of forgiveness
in order to free myself from the past...
knocking just won't do....


Perception fails us

Perception fails us
with its limits
and that's where
sets us free...


Done alone

This is the test of my love
...I know
this forced absence from you
When you told me...
you wanted to try separateness
I had one terrible moment of panic
suppose I can't face it?
I'm sure it must have
registered on my face
then I thought that would
ruin me in your eyes....
this lack of strength without you
so I quickly covered it up
but... supposed I can't?
I remember nothing before you
it's as if you always existed
... in my life
It didn't start until you...
We looked at each other
and I attempted a smile
... half hearted
breathing was even difficult
and I realized each intake
each expelling of air
I needed to hold myself together
until I could be alone
... and then the tears ...
then they could come
It's terrible to see someone
... suffering so
and to be able to do nothing
so it must be done
when you're alone...alone...alone