Selfless

The road to emptiness
is a long way from home
lost in its vastness
alone one just roams
confused and speechless
everyone unknown
slowly growing selfless....

02000817

Cast Aside

In order to cast aside illusion,
we must look deep inside....
meditation upon the self,
seeing who we really are....

05131996

Calm Waters

Faith is the mast on which I hang my sails,
guided by  the winds of love and gentleness,
on calm waters, my way sure and true .....

08051996

All the better

My past has brought me to where I am today, and I'm grateful for that. Without it, I would not have grown nor seen my blessings for what they are. Time gives and takes, some things bad, some good, but all for us to grow by and become all the better. So, let me be grateful for each, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

08071996

Daily Blessings

I'm grateful for my God given talents and abilities, and I try to continually refine them and use them to express myself and make my life fulfilling. These gifts help me to grow beyond my wildest dreams and bless me each day.

08071996

Feel Connected

My family and friends give me much to be grateful for, just being in my life. I love their company and see it as a gift. I'm grateful too for work I love and gifts from above. Art and music, poetry too, oh how they let me express myself and help me to feel connected.

08071996

Let me be grateful

Gratitude fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my soul, and my very being. It radiates from me in all directions, touching everything in my world and those I love, and it returns to me as more to be grateful for. The more gratitude I feel, the more I am aware that the supply is endless a gift from God. This makes me feel good, and all I want to do is share. This is love.

08061996

Foolish Gestures

Just as the ocean washes up
on the sand to cleanse it
defeats and disappointments
share can wash away
the hurt you'd sustain alone
it's the tender, sometimes
foolish gesture to show
you care for another
that helps so much

071977-06

Become the whole

You never really grow up....
no matter how old you are....
until you're willing to accept
responsibility for someone else's
happiness....
between a loving couple
real intimacy is possible only
when you've both reach this
level of maturity....
when the two parts
become the whole....

071977-04

Gone Blank

My nightmare
my truth now
a blank stare
empty inside
unploughed
memories
subside....
like me

12140817

Companionship

No one grows too old to need
physical closeness--
a loving pat, a comforting hand
sexual desire continues, I guess....
but the need for companionship
is even greater....

071977-03

Real Loss

Fearful of any real intimacy
as I suspect many "swingers" are
in their sexual relations.....
they miss all the discomforts
and the enduring satisfactions....
of real connection, real love,
nor real loss...
that comes with broken hearts....

071977-03

No Risk

Without commitment
sex becomes mechanistic, impersonal,
devoid of any real fulfillment
If you sleep in ten different beds
will you have a fuller,
more exciting life?
or will you count the foreign
countries you "know"
by the number of plush, plasticized
hotels you've slept in
never risking experiencing
the world as it is....

071977-02

Bigger Void

Without commitment
sex becomes mechanistic, impersonal,
devoid of any real fulfillment
If you sleep in ten different beds
will you have a fuller,
more exciting life?
or will just build a bigger void
that you're incapable of filling?

071977-01

Each Day

All that the ocean is... I am
moist with wetness
for you to enter
with changes from warmth to cool
for I am woman
I have been trampled upon
leaving footsteps in my life
to form what I have become
as the sand
has seen the footprints
of many travelers
many particles make up
the being of me
as the ocean is also filled
I am movement
and change
the sun sets upon me each day
all that the earth is, I am too
filled with hills and valleys
you have traveled many times
and deserts hot
with desertion
the rivers of my blood
flow through as the earth's do
greater and smaller channels
air fills me
and I breathe
as all earth's elements do
I have my storms
and my calms
at times the rains of tears flow
and other times
I am as in a fog
the scars I have earned
are the freeways
that blotch my life
having been traveled by others
who have only passed through
and I stretch out
upon my self
and the suns warms me
awake... each day

04291977

Knowing

If I, making my awkward way
among my cluttered thoughts some day,
the lost and ominous key should find
to the sealed chamber of my mind,
would I the secret room explore
and, knowing what I know, know more?

04011977

Note to my readers

This book, when I am dead, will be
a little faint perfume of me,
people who knew me well will say,
"She really used to think that way."
I do not write it to survive
my mortal self, but, being alive
all full of curious thoughts today,
it pleases me, somehow, to say,
"this book when I am dead will be
a little faint perfume of me."

04011977

Beach Walk

I am not afraid of tomorrows
as I put no restrictions
on yesterday....
and I still love.... today
the tide rushes in
to meet my footsteps
and carries them off the sand
I walk in order
to retrace our yesterdays
but leaving the sand fresh
of where I am today
free for tomorrow's lovers
it's getting dark,
and misty,
and cold, and I am locked in
with the darkness
into the depths
of what once was
you are not here
with me now
but your warmth
and closeness
engulf me....
the waves are crashing in
closer and closer
I'm enrapt in its movement
all the beauty of its being
the vastness
the constant flowing....
you are away from me now
but only your presence
for you are always with me
in my heart....
since you died

0000070-08

To give

I wonder if you've ever realized
how very much I care.... for you?
I want each day
to be one of happiness
for you....
with time for you to share
the burning sunset
two eyes meeting
across time
a smile... gentleness
as you softly caress
all your tomorrows
may you always care enough
to give what you have
as I did.... giving you
all the best I had
of me....

000070-07

Forgotten Sands

I have no demands of you
just to share your warmth
with others who need it,
give happiness to those
whose hearts are heavy,
and love to the lonely...
please remember me
with gentleness
if I should pass
through your mind
like the ocean when
it is calmest... kissing
the forgotten sands

000070-06

Gone from you

Because you were so wonderful
I have wanted to give you
something special
something of me....
but nothing seems enough
to show my true feelings
are written words enough?
I give you peace,
and time,
and love....
and to be gone from you
if you want me to....

000070-05

Unexpected

On the beach tonight,
alone, just thinking....
I do understand
our relationship added
a dimension to our lives
we each were lacking
and we gave to each other.....
I certainly hadn't expected
....this... wonderful gift...
of love....
nor was I prepared....
to lose it....

000070-04

I understand now

We were so happy once
strolling down the beach
together....
hand in hand
tossing pebbles
at the seagulls
watching other lovers
you were so lighthearted
laughing and smiling...
I could only give
what I needed most
....love
my commitment
written on the sunset
blowing in the wind
to give you my heart
my love....
as long as I live...
I've offered you
a part of me
I've never given to another
my love
will not be washed away,
eroded by the sea of life
it is soft... gentle
like the mist
that kisses my face
but without measure....
there is always a feeling
of peace within me
when I am near the sea
for everything that has
touched the soul of me
be especially for you....
I watched the tides
the crimson sunset
inflaming the sky
I walked the beach
our beach....
and thought....
I do understand...

000070-03

Keepsakes

We sat and listened
to the sea that night
and I always return
to stand in the darkness
listening to the surf's
pounding... against the shore
always questioning
wondering
will my life lighten
like the sky at dawn?
The evening we spent there
is a beautiful memory... to me
part of the yesterday's keepsakes....

000070-02

Now Gone

I always think of you
whenever I go to to the beach
remember back to our
once happy times there...
The sound of the slapping,
crashing waves always brings
it back....
I drift out on the
endless waves....
My thoughts wash out with
the tide....
What is the ocean without
its constant movement...
like me.... what would
I be
without change?
You now gone...

00000070-01

Never....

Remembering all the meetings

we planned....

and you never came

each time... me believing

and being there

wondering.... what it was

that always kept you away

bring you presents

anyway.....

for you who never cared....

07181977

A Shame

Our little games
slowly eroded everything
until there was nothing
to hold on to
no more me and you
and that's a shame

07181997

Never Could

I'd tell you I was going out
and all the things I would do
just to make you jealous
while I was screaming inside
please please please, care
tell me you want me with you,
not places apart....
but you never did...
and I never could

07181977

Home Alone

You'd always asked me
what time I got home
when you left to go somewhere
without me.....
to wander and roam...
I alway told you
my schedule
was none of your damn business
I knew why you'd left me
to got to someone else
despite my prayers and wishes
it didn't matter when....
I got home....
I'd still be alone

07181997

It's wrong

In pain
I reach out
to help him
this is wrong
or so I'm told
by society
by they're wrong
not me
how can it be
comforting arms
joyful jubilation
spontaneous giving
this is wrong?
sharing a small part
of oneself....
you who's always
backed away
never letting people
get too close
or so you think
who will touch
but won't be touched
think you've got to be
so firm, so strong
everyone's rock
I'm sure you'll cry
locked in some room
I could come to you
in fullness of feeling
and naked with love
but you'll say it's wrong

06071977

Too Tired

Marriage is no guarantee
of a lasting relationship
no words spoken
though creating bonds
that are like red tape
will keep dying love at your doorstep
though it just makes harder
to untangle the mess....
your kids together created
won't keep you from cringing
at his touch
he's become repulsive
you're killing each other
a little more each day
within a cold war, hate unspoken
this life
it's what we were taught to wait for
in illusions and fantasies
as little girls
to wake up in middle years
and realize
it was only a nightmare
with paper bells
and a tiered cake
wet diapers.... crying babies
is this is the glamor
we all dreamed of?
it just doesn't materialize
while mopping floors
your husband comes home
too tired to tell you
you're beautiful anymore

07181977

No smiles

I don't smile
not when I'm told to
and if I don't want to smile
it's because a smile is a butterfly wing
I will not do things on cue for you
NO!
since you don't want me
what is it you want?
surely nothing from me

12071286

His Realm

Jesus is the Son of God and the son of man. We are all, at the same time, the sons and daughters of God and the children of our parents. This means we are of the same reality as Jesus, and His realm awaits us. This I believe.

06151996