Electrified

Your hands
cause short circuits
in all my nerve endings
leaving me electrified
with your presence
even when you're gone
all of me
is a memory bank
of feeling.... for you

06231981

Too many

There are too many
to list the dead
beyond forgetting
they fill my head
soul suffering
holocaust's dread

05151979

Deadfall

Sucklings ripped from the breast
human slaughter
see them die
all crushed in little heads
filled with milk
mothers cry

Tiny arms wrapped round a leg
vacant eyes
stomach bloated
feel the hunger
see the suffering
another number has been noted

Line up the guns
and mow them down
see the bodies fall
no reason to whats been done here
mental illness
bitter gall

Man's capacity of inhumanity
left this darkened deadfall
corpses of those torture chambers
left to walk
memories endless hall

05131979

There will come the time

Strange how my heart not at all prone
to love again.... is beating loud
and I find I miss you, when alone
or maybe more.... in a crowd
I have no peace at all, bewildered heart
you pound too loudly within my breast
ravishing me and tearing my soul apart
love is not the best place to rest
and struggling to breathe in air
something I once did naturally
I find you brought me to terms
and made me care
are more shamefully
within my heart I know
I really would not
want to let you go

01241981

Waiting for wings

Fading thoughts
have no voice
sitting expressionless
left to drift
as I sit
waiting for wings
so that I can fly

12180515

If not now

The hour has not come, not yet
when you shall lie in bed with me,
and let the blood roar, and shackles get
about the self who once was free
if not tonight, then later, if not now
then yet, you will bring me to delight
to your fine touch and teach me how
to know you well in the darkness of night
and raise the heat of passion, be assured,
that I will desire you, and yet
though I will love shameless in night obscured
I may regret the day we met
for love no friend, she ties you down
and leaves your heart upon the ground

01241981

Heavy Burdens

Some days
it's prayer
that gets me
through the day
sustained
in faith
when nothing
else will do
my heavy
burdens
carried by angels
lovingly

12440515

Lost in the forest

The clock ticks
unnoticed
forgetting tricks
confusing
youngest and oldest
geriatrics
defined in passing
of all once infused
I've vanished
wandering
my dying memory
forest....

12180515

Never Real

Time
the slow process
of dying
spent counting
days
while forgetting
all that came
before
never real
when gone

12040515

Around the edges

You always say.... I'm sorry
I know it's because you care
but sorry's such.... a sorry word
tell me instead
you're glad I'm there
touch me with words
not ragged around the edges
unused and unapologetic
be new and fresh and bright
for me.... like your smile
or fresh paint
just applied on the canvas of life

04261981

More Fun

Out of all the possibilities
for friendship
ours is the most unlikely
you with your bad back
me with my short legs
you're always finding fault
with yourself
so I show you mine
you hate your thinning hair
me, my freckles
you think you're too old
I'm not old enough...
wouldn't it be more fun
if we looked for our good points
I like your shoulders
you like my chest
your travels interest me
my patience pleases you
lets look for all the assets
it's more fun....
touch me with your smile

04261981

Shroud

Locked are you
in the eternal shroud
your face shines through
where none allowed
forever transfixed
on this piece of cloth
pray it not fall victim
to the moth
the bleeding wound
at your side
a testament
to the fact you died
the darkened spots
around your head
marked from the thorns
from which you bled
the sporadic slashes
are a fact
that you were scourged
upon your back
your feet and hands
pierced - blood lost
shows you were hung
upon a cross
this simple shroud
alone testified
how you were tortured
how you died
your eyes forever
transfix and meet
the glance of any
look upon this sheet
of cloth
forever proud
this simple shepherd
upon the shroud

07271980

Unconfined

On the wide beach when evening comes
touching the sky, the reddened sun
drops out of sight and darkness plumbs
over the waves, day is done

Walking the sand on the beach alone
the breeze to ruffle my head
I feel as if the world is mine to own
and the sea sound cradles me in bed

The night calls of each passing ship
slipping by on the tide
echoes the sound from my lips
and in my dreams I sail the ocean wide

That yellow orb of mister sun
as I sleep the night through
is on the other side visiting everyone
on the earth, until day breaks anew

Then home he comes over sea and sand,
lighting water and each pile of rock
home to a wordless, sleepy, waiting world
lighting ships, beach and dock

I awake to Mr. sun, all the beauty I am seeing
free of shelter, unconfined, content to be
alone upon my beach, not another being
alive to all I feel, and free

04061980

Soundless

Taken away, relinquished all
powerless my life I hold
I eat bread covered in mold
and suffer from bitter cold
no one answers our call

All ears now turned deaf
just us here in pain
our life will not resume again
nothing, nobody will remain
no hope for us is left

Time we cannot buy
we're soundless to the ear
they cannot feel the fear
that walks with us here
tomorrow we may die

10291979

Forgetting Ballet

Gone is the joy
passed away
with youth
and memories
like childhood toys
my days of play
slowly reduced
days now centuries
hard to enjoy
a forgetting ballet
has me bemused

12580515

Bowels of Hate

Walk through my gates... you damned
enter the portals of hell
through all the horrors of humanity
within their bowels of hate you'll dwell
where living is a walking death
where hunger pervades your soul
come feed my fiery furnace
death is the only.... ultimate goal

09091979

Freedom

It is truly remarkable, this feeling of freedom. To be free to inhabit wherever I feel drawn. That would be true closure. To have light and color a part of my world reflected in from nature outside. To hear the sounds of country life in my everyday world is almost beyond comprehension.

To walk barefoot along a creek and along the  paths outside my door and feel the warmth of the soil between my toes. Let the promises of the soul become reality. Bring on the sweet life of being in nature. The world around becoming one of quiet meditation and blinding glory.

A world where the air is sweet, colors more brilliant, where light streams through the trees, awaits us. This world we shun to live in one of our own making is a place to connect and heal, if we but embrace it and acknowledge nature. Then we are truly free.

01131999

Escape

Let me climb to the top
of the highest tree
let me blow with the breeze
and so feel free
let me scale the highest mountain
and sail the endless sea
let me escape to eternity

Le me be the clear sky
each puffy cloud
let me stand erect
and never bowed
let me never be trampled
in the crowd
help me stand tall
let me be proud

Let me not be scared
when nighttime arrives
let me treasure each moment
just being alive
let me thank God
when each day is done
for each thing accomplished
each hardship won
let me be thankful
for being, and free
let me thank God
because I am - me

07081980

Fooled

I kept your memory
vibrant, alive
until my own decided
to fool me
as it withered and died

08300515

Death

Death, no maiden proud
though some fools have called you so
not wrapped, skeletal in a a shroud
but quiet as tiptoe you stealthily
steal away my heart from me....
not breath, not life left to flow
all we once treasured, must age, must go
to find another world of tranquility
no one so free, death cannot end
his life, we curse, we rail if not against fate... who then
silences a breath, all movement ends
peace... your external sleep I did not fail

06291981

Natural Events

We've never seen morning
together
you've never seen sunrise
with me
I've never seen sunset
with you
and yet we're friends...
we don't deny the elements
just honesty
you say you haven't painted
lately
I say I haven't written
we promise to do both....
so I'm writing
are you painting?
we are so cautious
not to say
anything really.... important
secrets are natural events
so is growth
let's share the beginning
and ending
not of our lives
but a day.... together

04261981

Matters for time

Time heals - I can hear your name
or look at your picture
without my heart stop beating
and my sensations stir

I know the time has come
when I could walk in the door
and look upon your face
smile - nothing more

I can now look in the drawer
where I kept your letters
without choking out a sob
for words that didn't matter

and I can still recollect a place
upon the ocean shore
we ate, held hands and vowed our love
it's a place - nothing more

I don't need to plead my cause
now that time is past
the worlds are silent - unuttered
and I'm free at last

My life is my own
I've earned the right to it
no more tears and despair
for something so long ago
one tarnished affair
I'm happier now
what matters if you care?

03181979

Sunset

The candles lit - drip - the sunset
see its fiery glow -
spread far across the skies
dipping down quite low -

See the waters touched with scarlet
reflecting the orange ball -
bleeding color to all it touches
until darkness covers all -

Then the fire ebbs like the tide
shimmering like glass -
departing - golden sparkler
now your flame has passed -

See the darkness crawl up over
and your brilliance blot -
no flame so bright now nighttime
has carried out its plot -

How silent night seems sleeping
setting a darkened mood -
the moon hangs up there winking
in its solitude -

These are the times - a dreamer's vision
or so I've been told -
hanging somewhere between sunset sleeping
and its rising - gold

03181979

No mistakes

There are no mistakes but there are different journeys we may take to arrive at our path. They are not wrong just circulations at times, but eventually we all arrive at the way, the shoreline, in awareness and hopefully with an open heart, mind, and sight.

Sometimes you need to slow us down so that we can truly see. Awareness comes with quiet, rest, and realization. You put seeking into our minds that we may gain knowledge and insight. There is so much more to learn and to accept.

All things are possible with God. He has told us and for long periods those words lay dormant for me. Now he has enlightened me to small wonders and my faith continues to grow as His truth grows within me to all the possibilities He makes available in our lives.

He has blessed me by putting so many people who are also seeking a spiritual quest. If I can encounter so many in such a short period it makes me curious of the volume of seekers all over the world and the many angels working on our behalf to enlighten us that we may be made aware of the greater glories that are possible when we open our hearts, our minds, and let go, let God.

I cannot remember a sweeter, more peaceful, more blessed time in my life. I feel as if I have come out of the shadows and into the light. God's light. He is my security, my strength, my everyday faith, my peace, my all-that-there-is.

My days are much fuller than they ever have been before. People ask me if I am not bored. How can one be bored with God as a daily companion? Each day is a greater blessing. Thank you God.

11241998

Closure

Lead me on the road to closure with the past path, clear away all the roadblocks on the way so that I may take the next juncture with a clear highway to the future. I know that God has plans for me and in order for them to be realized I must do all my homework, close the doors to the past and open the window to the future.

I must not leave any unfinished business to block my way or the transition will run into obstacles. Each day that I search back and heal all those open woulds that have been festering the quicker I can heal and move on.

Bandages themselves don't do the trick, they're just a temporary solution. We must cleanse those wounds that they may close and heal even if it leaves a small scar. Soon you won't even remember what caused it to begin with.

That's putting the past behind and moving on to a new road, a better place, a greener valley, and a more peaceful, fulfilling life. I can feel it already God, that inner enlightenment as I release all the garbage from the past.

It won't be needed on the new path for there will be new work to do, a new purpose to accomplish, and new mountains to climb. Just as the sun sets each day and there is closure to that day so the next morning it rises again to a new beginning and a new day and everything is as though brand new. So too is closure a new beginning.

11101998

Never bored

How can one be bored or lonely when God is your companion? When the angels are around you? And you are loved? My soul and spirit expands as more time passes and God's answers come in time, and overwhelming peace and joy that come with it.

03071997

Haunted

I'm haunted by things
I've tried so hard to forget
while losing things
I so want to remember

12000515

Harmony

Harmony is what we all need in our lives and homes. For when we are in harmony we are at peace with God. In quiet we can see this all around, like blue sky and puffy clouds.

11281998

Cloaked

You didn't forget me
like I've forgotten you
your love my hope
you're beyond memory
a face I see through
a mist in which I float
No, you didn't forget me
forgive me for forgetting you
with age the past is cloaked

13000515

Doubt

Faith is having doubt, for without doubt there is no need for faith. Doubt is the small pauses in between, the stops along the way that give greater pleasure to the whole of life.

We need pauses to clarify the work at hand. Like thinking and rearranging before we speak so what we say is clear. Doubts are the thoughts that come in the night that we could do better and then getting up the next day to try again.

Even Jesus said "my God, my God, why have you deserted me?", the doubt that made his death and resurrection more poignant. Doubt is but a resting point to go on in greater faith.

Doubt is so we turn to God in prayer for the strength we need. Doubt is so that He can show us the way. Doubt is struggling and doing the right thing anyway.

Faith is the light on in doubt's darkness, all we have to do is flip the switch of belief by turning to God for solutions. Doubt is not without hope, it is just a question.

It is human to encounter doubt at the door, it is faith that doesn't let it in as a permanent resident. That is why God has put so many promises in the scriptures for our dark days of doubt to lift us up again.

He knows us and He provides even for those times and also tells us seek and ye shall find, and that's what we do when we read His words. Seek the answers to our doubts, remember God's promises and then rekindle the candle of faith.

11091998

Unplugged

I want to unplug the machine
and get on with the business
we call it living and dying
engaged not oddly senseless
no longer to the world clasping

12180515

Soon to come

The future, past
sitting lost,
looking back
to all that was
and that
which will
never be
the end
soon to come

07500515

Giving Thanks

Thank you for your many blessings this day, Dear Lord. I trust in you completely for the best outcome for all things, for myself, my friends, my children, and grandchildren. My I continue to have my faith grow.

12121998

Be in balance

I feel a deficit in my life lately and realize I have not taken any time for fun, or enjoyment. Without it, like any other need, your life becomes imbalanced. You feel as if your equilibrium is out of whack. Angels understand fun and even God has a sense of humor.

Without time for fun our sense of joy decreases as well as our energy. I need to plan a day of external happiness and sharing and take the angles along. To be in contact with my love of nature, the sea, a long slow drive, as well as inner peace.

We all have certain places that rejuvenate our spirit. They are like a magnetic field to joy and laughter, harmony and our sense of serenity. Our purpose is to honor all our needs. For when we neglect them we feel an emptiness, a restlessness of spirit.

When we recognize and pinpoint where we feel depleted and honor that need we again feel in tune with our spirit, more useful, and have a greater sense of accomplishment. Take time to embrace life. Take time for self.

Recognize and respond to your needs. This is a way of honoring the spirit. Schedule time to be joyful, creative, loving, without expectation. It is an energy booster. Do something unexpected, just for the fun of it, like taking a walk in the rain.

Embrace life. Play an old disco tune and dance when no one else is around to see. You'll be surprised at how uplifting it can be. God made joy as a way of praising life. Part of faith is honoring the spiritual self in all its requirements.

There are times to be still, times to be active, and times to be joyful. They are all ways to express our love of the divine. Nothing we do is separate from divine spirit. Take it with you. Party with the angels and have fun enjoying  the creation of God.

03091999

A universe of change

We create our own universe and each of us is at the center of it. What we invite into the care of our wold is our choice, what we allow ourselves to see, to experience, to feel. We can be alive to the moment or just exist. To be in consciousness is to not just observe, but to become part of all that is around you.

The mountains become our strength, the stars our visions, the daybreak our rebirth each morning to all the possibilities we can allow ourselves to live. Each moment of each day is important, as are we. There is a purpose to each one of us and everything in creation. Nothing is stagnant, but constantly changing, evolving, becoming.

02252001

Evolution

We are in the age of spiritual awareness and a conscious growth of our own spirit and the power of enlightenment. We can make choices of how we live our lives, to be more aware, to be alive to the moment and to make a difference.

We can choose to get off the merry-go-round of constantly running and reevaluate what is important to our lives. To become authentic with who we really are by including our complete selves, mind, body, soul, and spirit in our living.

In this way we really feel and appreciate life. We plant and nurture the seeds of growth. We feed the budding germination through study and rid ourselves of any blight that would harm the new shoots and prune away the old stems that sap the energy from the thriving new growth.

We do this by releasing the blocks within us that hamper the wondrous flowering beauty we can be. We we go within and quiet ourselves then we can listen to the inner truths. People are so afraid of losing control when by releasing you are instead gaining freedom, clarity and a world that always existed, right in front of your eyes, that you never fully noticed before, and your spirit soars.

I am who I am, even in change, only now I am more aware of the beauty in my world and within myself. This is not revolution, it is evolution of the spirit.

11041998

Every Memory

Still myself
though a shell
where I hide
day to day
as all that was
fades away
along with
every
memory

12560515

Cool Breeze

Freedom
butterfly wings
sitting
quiet and still
removed
waiting
for another
cool breeze

05202001

No Vaccine

My tongue won't move
to name these things
nor the face I've seen
emptiness time brings
memories removed
there's no vaccine
to cure this forgetting

12210515

Trust

In order to progress in my spiritual growth I must learn to do more than hear but to work on responding to the information the falls before me, the voice that guides me, trusting that God will help me to succeed.

He is my strength in all things. He provides for me in all that I do and will not leave me alone to struggle in this world.

11031998

Soul Experience

I try to live each day as a soul experience, welcoming the gifts that it brings. To see the blessings and beauty and gathering strength through activity. To exercise my brain as well as my body and to be in a conscious state of awareness. To not rush through the day but to savor the moment, concentrating on the now, instead of dwelling on the past or being in anticipation of the future and thus missing the gift this moment brings.

01282001

Newness

To me it is still a beautiful world and I marvel at the newness of each day.

12330515

Like a garden

It's hard to see that things will work out when you are in the dark night of the soul, when it's hard to see the sun's rays breaking through. The clouds seem thick and dense and almost to enshroud us until we learn to really see.

Then we find they are but a mist that can be blown away by the breeze or lifted by the warmth of the sun. So too can we be lifted up when we allow God's light to shine through and allow us to look with greater clarity and less fear.

Sometimes what we experience are but life's little lessons to strengthen us and to prepare us, like a flower bed in the garden, for the beauty that will come into our life and grow and prosper. That will blossom profusely and bring joy not only to us but all who behold the radiance of God's work fulfilled.

03272001

Learning my lessons

When we believe that God gives us what we need when we need it we often overlook the fact that it includes the lessons in life we need to grow in spirit as well as the many blessings He bestows in our life.

I have many roads left to travel and many seasons yet to experience and learn from the lessons that unfold along my path. May I be a better person with each step along the way.

020062001

Nothing is random

I have finally come to realize, after these many long years, that nothing is random or merely coincidence. Everything has meaning that will be revealed in time, and is all part of our personal and collective journey.  A journey of love, life, discovery, growth, and faith.

05302001

Blessings Grow

I am so grateful for my friends and the blessings they bring into my life. That we are there for each other in the hard times as well as the good times. That we share our laughter and tears, ups and downs, joys and burdens.

We also share our prayers and our faith. They are more family than friends. We have created a chain of love as well as prayers and through God they are answered.  Blessing grow in love.

04262001

Beautiful Blessing

Each day is a beautiful blessing and a gift not to be taken for granted but to be embraced and consciously enjoyed for it will not come again.

04252001

Indistinct Shadows

I was up before the sky lightened, me, the stars, and the moon seemed to be all there was in the first hour of early morning, almost as indistinct as the shadows cast in moonlight.

02162001

Unconstrained

Alone I wait for rain
to wash away my tears
and cleanse my pain
of my forgotten years
memories unconstrained
fuel my growing fears
that I can't contain

12390515

Losing Sleep

There are times we all wake up in the middle of the night. The beauty of it here in the mountains is really something to see. The panorama of stars like a multitude of diamonds spread out on black velvet in varying sizes winking and blinking as the light picks up their many facets. With such beauty spread before me, filling my soul with awe, losing a bit of sleep is well worth the price.

06282001