End of February

The moon lit up the sky last night and there proved to be no storm forthcoming. The stars glittered and winked as if sharing a small joke with me and I smiled in return. Today has arrived with clear deep blue skies, a lack of clouds and grateful birds chattering and singing their own joy.

I caught the squirrels raiding not only the birdfeeder on the front deck but the one hanging in the trees as well. Formerly they left this one alone but once they learn how to grab and tilt one none of the rest are safe, except the feeder hanging from the eaves that they haven't been able to breach.

It's hard to believe this is the end of February already. I have been so busy keeping winter at bay shoveling, feeding the hungry birds and squirrels, and working at my cards, it is come and gone with the winter roar and yet barely a whisper. Tomorrow we will see March in; will it start like a lion or lamb?

I sorted through my many packets of pictures and put them in albums as well as sent some off to friends and family. I need to get back to my genealogy and organize my many emails and pictures I have received.

I am anxious to get my hall painted before the railing goes in and I need to get to town for some supplies, especially the spackle to fill in the holes and some sandpaper. I need a new paintbrush and pan as those were lost in one of the snow storms and are now located in the forest and will be found when the snow melts enough. If I get some more plastic bins I can empty the dresser and the garment boxes that are standing in my bedroom taking up valuable space. My mind his as active as a beehive wanting to accomplish several things at once. I will begin with the stairs.

Evening has come and my friend made it through surgery. Now he is considering refusing the one that will require hospitalization for five days all because of his nicotine addiction and also that he is worried about money. He hasn't done anything to help with the situation. I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers and hope he sees the light.

02281993

Crossing Rivers

Powerful dreams lead me
I followed them all night
surrounded by animals
drinking at the river
The Sioux came to me
together we crossed
to seek what's been lost

04161996

Tend the garden

Worldly honor surrounds us
bearing its sweet heavenly fruit
if we but tend to the garden
humbly, with love and faith

04201996

Let it be so

Help us be the creatures of light we're meant to be,
that which we truly are.
Let love live in the center of our being,
filling every cell.
Let us give our hearts to the world,
giving it substance.
Our essence is to live and love,
let it be so.

04041996

Under a veil

No dreams, no prophets,
just a veil to hide behind,
until the ceremony is done....
no angels, or vibrant skies
release is waiting for the brave
for all the rest will find none

04271996

To lift those clouds

Today, I postponed my work on the hill and planting to rest and go to town with friends. We visited another nursery with beautiful blooming roses and I encouraged my friend to add one to her purchases, instead, she added two, as she could choose between them: majestic white and glorious orange, as well as healthy lavender. I saw large wisteria and a lilac that would, either one, look lovely climbing up the side of the deck, the first I must prepare the flower bed by enclosing it in rocks, for which I bought a bag of cement, and then break up the hard dirt and add mulch in planning mix. If it is meant to be, the right one will still be there when I return. I must remember the proper preparation always comes first; the rest is in God's hands.

I found a cookie jar for my daughter's kitchen. She needs little surprises to let her know she is loved, even though she's across the country. The ties that bind are strong and reach far. Little things can and do mean so much.

My friend here is still suffering from depression, as is my daughter, one over finances and one over hair loss. Things will work out for both of them but when you are in the dark night of the soul it is hard to see the sun's rays breaking through. The clouds seem thick and dense and almost enshroud us until we learn to really see. Then we find they are but a mist that can be blown away by the breeze or lifted by the warmth of the sun. So too can we be lifted up when we allow God's light to shine through and help us look with greater clarity and less fear.

Sometimes what we experience are but life's little lessons to strengthen us and to prepare us, like a flower bed, for the beauty that will come into our lives and grow and prosper, that will blossom profusely and bring joy not only to us but all who behold the radiance of God's work fulfilled.

There is a time for all things under the sun God reminds us inpatients and faith are but a few of the lessons we learn.

05261962

New flowers for the garden

I'm off to town today, as I have to take care of some business and will take advantage of being there to search out more plants and find them I did. I bought two large roses already in bloom, Angel face that is lavender, and garden party, which is a greenish yellow pink tips. Another lavender was calling to me, and I don't think you can have too much lavender in your garden, and I love the fragrance. I bought Rosemary to put in a pot, the cuttings I got from a friend are already in a pot and seemed to be doing well, I may plant some up on the hill eventually.

I found four ranunculi in vibrant color: purple, yellow, pink, and white. In the herb department, I also got some oregano. The herbs seem to be doing well dispersed around the flowers. I bought a small flat of dianthus to add more color and two Japanese bamboo shrubs to give some height and a sense of laciness to the garden. I also found a baby breath, which blooms profusely in small white flowers and reminds me of lace. They had some very unusual gladiola bulbs and I bought three packages of different colors, as well as an iris with three beautiful blooms and another shrub called a broom that blooms yellow and grows 6 to 8 feet in height. I've seen them growing around here and they seem to weather the snows quite well.

When I arrived home, I took all the flowers out and put them on my deck, transforming it in a riot of color as if announcing that spring itself has arrived at my doorstep.

I am a little worried about the bare root roses I have planted as they are not getting new shoots very quickly, as they should. One, which is a beautiful shade of lavender when in bloom, has no shoots at all. I had one before in a container before I moved here but it died from the heat on my patio. I hope this one starts responding and does well. I still would like to find sterling silver, which is my favorite. It has the most magnificent long-stem lavender blooms and delicious fragrance of any rose I have ever seen.

Tomorrow will be time for planting and watering and putting my new floral purchases in their new home.

05011990

Seeing God's country

The kitties woke me up early after staying up late last night, but I let my friend sleep in, even though she asked me to wake her when I got up. It's too early for most people. She got up at eight thinking she had slept until noon, as it is so bright here in the mornings and I had to laugh. For one thing, there is no smog or too close houses to keep the light out and I have an abundance of windows to let it in.

It was time for coffee, breakfast rolls, and a relaxing morning before we again hit the road so she can see more of the beauty where I am blessed to live. She said she doesn't want to leave and is checking out the houses with for-sale signs. I doubt that she makes the move though as she is very dependent on friends where she lives and not as adventuresome as she once was. Fear and believing that you are handicapped can do that to a person.

I saw the possibility of many boulders I can return to later to gather and new ideas for terracing the hill. She wanted to return to the forest cul-de-sac of yesterday to again see the towering giant sequoias and the snow, to just walk around and pretend she is in her beloved Yosemite. Now, she realizes she doesn't have to drive that far to find the serenity of nature.

There are two houses, in particular, she took a liking to. One may be going up for sale but has not, as yet, been listed, although I have heard the person who owns it is moving in the near future and it is a sweet house with three bedrooms and a large deck out back. It sits on a corner lot with its own backyard forest.

I took my friend back to our little village center where she could visit the antique store and hardware stores, which are now open. I found a lovely Angel to add to my collection and my friend found several things she liked but in the habit of being dependent on credit cards for purchases, she found they are not accepted here. She did not bring cash or her checkbook so went home empty-handed of purchases but in the possession of the gifts I had for. She especially liked the sitting Angel I bought to sit on her fireplace mantel. I told her to come back soon and that she is always welcome as she departed for home. I am blessed to have such a dear friend.

04131990

A friend's visit

My friend will be arriving today so it is time for extra cleaning, as I want her first impression of my wee cabin to be one of awe. The views themselves from the decks and the windows leave you breathless.

She didn't have a problem finding me and the first words out of her mouth were "it's gorgeous!" I gave her the tour and she couldn't believe my backyard is an Oak Grove mixed with Pines and was duly impressed.

After we got her settled, we enjoyed the wonderful chicken salad she brought for lunch. Her eyes kept going to the windows, first one then another as she drank in the vision of mountains and then trees filled with birds lighting gently on branches and singing and entertaining us as we ate. There was one squirrel that was curious about my company and had the scamper to the window to check us out. She was in disbelief at how close he came to the window. She also got several shots of Pesky, the squirrel, showing off on the back deck.

When we finished satisfying our hunger it was time to give her a partial tour of God's country, especially higher up in the hills where they still have an abundance of snow. We stopped at a cul-de-sac, which is heavily forested, and she was amazed to find we have giant sequoias up here and at the variety of pines all nestled together, some shooting high into the heavens, others spreading their branches wide below. We stayed there for quite a while, as she was reluctant to leave such beauty. She borrowed my camera so she could get a panoramic shot of the trees and try to capture a feeling of their height against the blue of the sky and the impressive clouds passing by and turning the horizon scarlet.

We took a few more roads climbing up and she couldn't believe how massive many of the homes are up here, more like hotels than houses. We ended in town but everything was closed including the restaurants, so we came home to play on the computer, create her a few cards and enjoy each other's company, have a relaxing evening, rest, and catch up on each other's news.

05011992

About the garden

The little cottontail rabbit is here this morning. I am sure he is the one who has been nibbling the tops off my tulips in the flower bed as well as some of the blossoms that have come up in the wooden barrel. First, he hides under the car, then comes out at the edge of the drive nibbling and watching me as I stand on the upper deck. First, the animals are afraid and skittish, then they become curious, bolder, then some of them become quite demanding. The neighbors say they have never seen so many animals and birds in one yard. I think it is because I respect them and realize it was their territory long before people came along. I provide them with food and give them their space. Even the little Chipmunks run across open space instead of hiding. The squirrels run freely across the deck and the big Blue Jay asks for peanuts. I speak to them and they are used to the sound of my voice now and chatter back.

The sky is a brilliant blue with small bands of fluffy white clouds starting here and there like exclamation points. The wind is cold and brisk causing the Angel windmill to spin round and round against the hill.

The boulder line is growing and there are four more I brought home waiting to be added. The marigolds like mini suns shining from below in shades of orange, yellows, and rusts, and the bright pink carnations give me a great sense of accomplishment although there is a lot of hill still to conquer. It all takes time and instead of being impatient I'm grateful as bit by bit becomes transformed with color.

Today, I finish packing the Easter box for my daughter and granddaughter: the Pooh bear, Pooh ball, and the musical duck block holder. I also put in the charcoal, incense, and decide to send my daughter the new hearings I bought as an Easter gift. I tucked in a crafter's apron with pockets and will get the box in the mail tomorrow.

I am enjoying the sunny skies and the ever-changing clouds that throw shadows on the hills. I give all the flowers a good soaking as well as fruit trees as best I can from the bottom of the hill and fill up the very large saucer I am using as a birdbath. I see the squirrel go there to watch himself and get a drink, everything is put to good use.

04061991

Great changes in my life

I have been rethinking my blessings of this past year, the ending of one chapter in my life and a whole new world that has been given to me. I have achieved closure in some areas and a new door has opened. I have been transported from being enclosed away from wide-open spaces to the beauty of God's country.

I know that God answers our prayers and needs, not in the limited way it is our nature to believe, but in a greater, fuller, richer, way than we could imagine possible. I wanted space and God gave me a home on the hill with an endless expansive sky, great forested areas and a view that goes on for miles that takes the breath away. Where I formerly felt suppressed, I now feel serene and expansive.

God wants more for us than we possibly could ask for ourselves. I was in a job that had suppressed my joy and an estrangement with family that left me feeling empty at times. I've found when you ask God you'd better stand back for answers come quickly and in and abundance that can stagger our imaginations. The same day I prayed the job that was sucking the life out of me ended and a healing began, not just physically and mentally, but in a great spiritual growth that is taking me on a new path. God gave me back my dreams and the time and training to put them to use and, I'm sure, the expectation that I do so.

The gulf with my immediate family has not improved much and have learned you cannot force what others have no desire to give, but God has given me a wealth of family I never knew. Shortly after my prayer two cousins came back into my life I had not seen in many years and thanks to our mutual interest in genealogy I now have a wealth of cousins in a multitude of countries I'm getting to know and opportunities to travel and meet them. It is a healing not only for myself but others as well.

I've also been blessed with the new granddaughter who is dear to my heart and fills my life with joy even from miles away, as do all my grandchildren. God does give us what we need when we need it and all we need to do is ask and leave the answer to Him. Then be prepared to 'receive' and 'believe' that it will be so, for God loves us unconditionally and completely.

12021990

Flowers and family

The air is crisp today, so it is on with the sweatshirt, instead of the short sleeve T-shirt of late. Misty clouds hang low over the mountains and a steady breeze blows the flower windmill I bought myself yesterday, that has a little garden angel in the middle and blue petals, around and around and as it spins I work in my garden planting more marigolds. Their bright golden, yellow, and mixed rust colors give spots of sunshine along the border of rocks I am creating on the hill. It is if they say," here I am." I also plant two different kinds of mint with the hope they will spread out beneath the roses. In another area I plant Golden Sage with its multicolored leaves of green and yellow and along the border two Hardy Sage with their blooms of lavender.

When I water some of the boulders on the hill dislodge and I have to reset them, which is a heavy and muddy task. Luckily they did not completely crush the marigolds beneath them but did decapitate a Golden flower. I still have two new roses to plant but I will save them for another day. One already has a bud that will soon be ready to open. I do need to start the row of boulders along the drive but first I need to get some concrete to set them in place then I can fill it in with flat rocks and an occasional flowerpot or small bust to add height and color.

The squirrels are so active today, running all over the decks and yard as if they missed my company yesterday and are trying to get my attention today. Their antics certainly make me laugh and amuse the neighbors as well.

I take time for my emails and to write my newly discovered cousin in France. She and her husband are coming to the states next month and we may have the opportunity to meet them, although my son is too shy to ask. She has sent the date, hotel, flight and phone number, which I sense is a desire, on her part, and opportunity for all of us. I'm quite excited over the prospect.

When I prayed to God for greater closeness with family He answered with an abundance I had not anticipated. I now have cousins I am in contact with in the states, Canada, France and Chile. He has brought me whole new world of family and I am grateful.

06011990

Off to Ventura

It's off to Ventura today: to visit friends, the beach, the Angel store, and browse wherever else the whim carries me and to lunch on the pier. I've been looking forward to it all week and get an early start.

I have brought along my pictures of God's country at my friend's request and she loves the many changes of weather I have captured on film: the snow-covered hills, the cabins, and wildlife. She laughed at the series of Pesky, the squirrel, stealing the cotton out of my chair cushion on my back deck. Of course, she loved the tall pine trees and has tw on her back deck that are so big and tall, still in containers, she doesn't know how they will be moved out of there and she would love to have somewhere to plant them, but wants it to be her own place, which is impossible where she lives as her condo only has decks for yards.

My main purpose of going to Ventura was to file my income taxes but I did not make enough for that to be possible and my CPA refused to charge me for her time so I gave her a gift of greeting cards to use.

It is an overcast and chilly day. Still, there were surfers out in the water, one windsurfer that fascinated the children at the next table, plus a few speedboats and young people in shorts running up and down the wharf. This weekend fishermen were out doing their best to bring in a catch or two while I just sat absorbed my surroundings. As well as enjoyed wonderful meal and the smell of the sea air.

It's big treat to have lunch on the pier at one of my favorite seafood restaurants. The extra sourdough bread comes fresh and warm, they have coleslaw unique and unequaled, and the fresh cod has me salivating. The atmosphere, of course, looking ride out over the water draws me to a window seat when it is too chilly to sit outside. I feel totally relaxed and rejuvenated as I always do watching the waves play against the shore.

I couldn't resist going to visit the Angel store nearby. I found a statue of the Arch-Angel Uriel that is unusual; I've never seen one before so, of course, I broke down and bought it as well as a Boyd's bunny for my granddaughter. At that Gifts from Earth shop I found some charcoal incense and a beautiful pair of earrings for my daughter. She buys everything the baby needs and nothing for herself. She needs an Easter gift from the heart as well as things for the baby. I know she will be surprised.

04051992

Whole Again

My goodbye is near
gone the confusion
gone the endless fear
soon the conclusion
seventy aught years
ended in seclusion
all lost and forgotten
free from delusion
whole and unbroken
no more my dear

0200022018

Higher Selves

When we choose and identity,
we begin to build our essence...
from within it starts to grow,
that higher self we call divine,
for we are the source, us true

04041996

We Float

Stand up and feel
build upon trust
know what's right
love lets us float

04031989

Shoplifting

We shoplifted as children
stealing love from the shelves
taking it where we found it
filling our empty days

04041989

In the monastery

In the monastery, before the meal, we acknowledge our food as a gift of the universe, the earth, the sky, and hard work. Let us live in ways that transform us, that elevates the mind, that frees the soul. Give us understanding and love to meditate upon.

06221966

Brought to Life

I am wonderfully rich in consciousness. I am bountifully supplied with money and love. I now realize my plan for abundant living. I see my bank account continually filled with an all-sufficiency to meet every need with a divine surplus. I lovingly see myself sharing this bounty for the good of all according to the Father's guidance. I happily see every bill paid now. I joyfully see every obligation met, with great delight. Let me use love and wisdom to bring the dream to life.

08131996

Getting Lost

If you have a sacred place and use it, take advantage of it, something will happen. You'll connect with who you are, and who you might be. I've noticed other people's sacred space and I admire them for it. I've had dreams of a sacred space for myself, telling me I have a need for that quiet sacred spot. A place to celebrate, concentrate and consecrate my inner self. And so, I gather meaningful objects that evoke love and gratitude. Building a meditation table, covered with a lace cloth, angel candles, stones, and incense. Flowers too, along with my rosary, and here I lose myself in my being, one, part of all that is.

05201996

A sacred space

I've got a sacred space,
a place just for me...
where I go to just be
experiencing nothing
rejoined, set free
here I am, in meditation

05201996

A better place

Bring healing to all who seek wholeness.
Help others who silently suffer.
Offer help to those in need.
These are things we can all do.
Making the world a better place.

03211996

My Angel

Open my heart once more
illuminate the world with love
be the source of my strength
my angel there to guide me

03231995

Sliced in Two

I froze
my warmth lost
trying to make you melt
to thaw out your heart
mouth to mouth
brought you no life
it just sliced me in two

03161987

Walls and thoughts

I start my morning in peace and a new determination to exercise more by walking the hills while it's still early. Today, I went down the hill on my own street taking pictures as I went. It is a much different view than snapping shots from the car. I also met the new neighbor a few houses down from me. He was having coffee on his deck so I welcomed him to the neighborhood and introduced myself. He, like me, has relocated from a more crowded area, is an artist, works at home and loves it up here in God's country.

He was fortunate to see his first deer when two appeared in his yard and he was in awe, still. Of course, unpacking will take a while (I should know about that) and finding a place and space for everything.

He has a problem with woodpeckers and the fake owls it was recommended he buy don't help at all. Why am I not surprised! Birds are quite intelligent, I find, as are the squirrels and other animals. He also has an interest in gardening, so we discussed what grows up here and doesn't.

I felt it might help to be welcomed as it made me feel good when three of my neighbors came, at different times, and introduced themselves. Only the neighbors next door come by to chat, others just say hello and passing.

I continued my long walk, going up the long, long, hill on the next street. It became harder going the steeper decline and as I got closer to the top I had to make more frequent stops.

I even got a picture of my own home from a new direction side-by-side with my neighbor's. My little place really looks very private seen from the back, hidden behind my forest of oaks.

In my mind, I earmarked some boulders to retrieve later, which I did on my way home from the post office when I had a car to carry them. I was able to bring home one medium and one smaller bolder and added them to my row at the base of my hill.

I stand on my deck upstairs or down below and view my progress, in my mind imagining where I will put more plants, add the walkway up, set the next terrace of boulders and wonder how I will get them up the hill to place them. Still, I get a sense of satisfaction seeing the small changes I have made already and witnessing the beautiful blooms and carnations and marigolds. Nature is a constant thing to marvel at.

04061992

Ups and downs

The owner of the antique shop called, they've agreed to carrying my card line and will gladly accept the note cards too if they have the same sort of pictures, I assured them they do. The one problem I see is they upped the price to $4.95 each so that they could take a profit of $2.00 per card which is more than 60%. They had originally told me the consignment was 10%, but either they have great faith in the sales or are suffering from greed or need.

I stopped to deliver the cards when I went to the post office, which is when I discovered the change in price although they are nicely displayed at the front counter. I'll leave it in God's hands but will visit some of the other shops, like the flower shop and candy store, as well as the hardware store, and see if they will carry them as well at a more reasonable price. I also want to put out an ad for my graphics and post it in the post office and wherever else they will allow. I also need to get my business cards redone with my correct address and phone number. It is on one of my discs, I just need to locate it.

I enjoyed making more little notecards. I lose myself when I am editing my pictures, highlighting the colors are bringing windows out of the shadows, removing unwanted cable and phone lines and making other small changes and seeing the finished product.

It was a necessity to spend time on the phone with the phone company as months after I returned a phone they sent I am still being charged for it even though I had canceled the order before they even put it in the mail and they claim they could not find any order for. Then I had to call the credit union to straighten out another problem. The third irritation on my list, the asphalt that sunk into the snow over the newly placed septic tank, had to wait as the person I needed to speak with wasn't in. It seems I almost have to take myself out of the state of peace and grace in order to deal with these people and even my journaling becomes stilted and more about facts than feeling.

I'm sure I can build the wood planters, add a framework for trellises and maybe even build a bench to sit on. I walk around the driveway area under a large oak and picture where I would put each planter, the doorway, and the rock planter I would like to build next to the stairway. That will come to life as well. The back area toward the forest I would leave open and I would put out lots of pots of different heights and shapes with a multitude of flowers in every color you could imagine. The beauty of nature is something I meditate upon.

04011996

Working in the Garden

I'm up really early and watch the pink tinges of dawn lighten to a white cloud streaked blue. The golden marigolds look very chipper from atop my deck and boulder railing has grown significantly. A wee chipmunk darts forward then nervously runs back to hide beneath my car. Finally his curiosity outweighs his timidness and he scurries to investigate the new landscape taking place, sticking his little head between the large rocks that to him truly are boulders. It's like he is saying "check it out, great caves!" There are an unaccountable number of birds as well, in profuse variety and color. As the hill develops, so does their interest.

My neighbor next door also came over while I was planting the roses. she says it is disgusting to be up so early and ambitious. She came back later to check on my progress and told me she had been watching me from her dining room area and gave me her stamp of approval. She and her husband seem to be reluctant to see changes made in the place, as the were friends of the former owners although they seem not to be in touch now that they moved. Getting acceptance from an established area when you are the new kid on the block takes time but they all wave and speak now so I assume I am gradually becoming part of their world.

The yard is full of birds; most of them have adjusted to me and often will stay still and watch me work. At times they all take flight but always return again in a short while. They seem delighted that I have dug up some dirt while planting and peck at it hunting for bugs to eat.

I spent time making more of the note cards while I am waiting to hear whether the antique shop agrees to carry the larger ones. I feel that those who only dash off a note would prefer smaller cards.I also worked on the postcards but am unhappy with the quality of paper (very flimsy) and will have to adjust the settings to print them as they are off line with the paper.

I need to spend time on the house as I have neglected it lately for the yard. I do keep up with the decks everyday so that it is not piled high with empty sells and I have been looking through my gardening magazines for ideas. A secret garden at the end of the drive would be nice, and to build some large wooden planters. They even have instructions for some of the projects.

03191989

Blessings and Home Work

Today I blessed my home with Holy Water, Prayers, and a smudge stick, inside and out, as well as in the mudroom. Having dead birds on the decks and another rat in the wood bin bothers me with its negative energy. I invited God and the Angels to dwell here in peace with me.

I also worked on my rock trellising. I found several boulders on the vacant lot next door but I was unable to dislodge them or lift them. I did gather some smaller ones and added them to the line I have started. A little cement would probably not hurt either. I brought a good-sized boulder up from the back yard to add to the rock wall I am creating. If I added just one a day, in a month I would have put up 30 boulders which could make quite a difference, so that will be my goal.

I plan to continue to add more roses and maybe more carnations as well and to start the walkway up the hill. I need to build a frame of 2X4s for the walkway and I will need a layer of small rocks as a topping so the steps will not be slippery. In the meantime, I need to investigate more about how to do this. I try to picture it in my mind, I am good at visualization from my years of artwork but know-how helps.

I get my love of gardening from my father, watching him shape and prune, and the plants thriving in an abundance of blooms with his guidance and care. I still have to find which are the best plants to grow up here, so far I know roses survive, citrus and avocado trees don't. I know that blueberries should because they grow back east and in Canada and that Wisteria and Lilacs do every well. I don't know where I put my Tulip bulbs and I need to locate and plant them soon or wait until fall.

I want to make a level spot for the barrel on the hill, right now it is taking up a good deal of space on my lower deck. I want to removed the bottom legs from the coat rack and plant it on the hill as well so I can hang plants and bird feeders from it. It would make an interesting conversation piece and there is not room for it in the house.

The railing for the stairway still hasn't been delivered or installed and I have no idea when the handyman will bring it. The pace of getting things done up here is amazing in its slowness but I hope it is soon. Then soon it will be time for deck work but I will wait until closer to summer. I'm still thinking of staining it first and then putting on a protective layer to preserve the wood. The winter snow dried it out a lot and I'm not sure that it has ever been treated before. Of necessity I will be doing a lot of the work myself. My other goal is to get more family pictures framed and hung to put valances in the living room rear windows. Progress may be slow but it is taking place.

03191992

Back to you

My quest came when I needed it
the journey strange and unfamiliar
the road difficult to navigate
the end elusive, the lessons too
all to grow, learn and get back to you

12261996

Touch the Depth

Death, rebirth, sex, psychic ability,
touch the depth of my being....
creating a universe to explore,
a vision of transformation...
where all is illuminated
and we become ourselves...

03211996

Leave It

Once I started down the path
there was no turning back
just days and days of discovery
learning what I need to know
leaving the rest long behind

03161996

Guide Me

Angels guide me
to make decisions
that will be the best
choices that grow
leading me along
to where I need to go

03131996

Roaming the hills

I took a ride into town, mainly to get rid of the leavings from the rat's nest, ugh! I am grateful my friend Phil helped me clean out the wood box, which it had moved into and was preparing for its upcoming family.

I keep washing my hands but still feel the need to reclean them when I handle anything in the vicinity of the rat. Needless to say, I hate rats and I'm not fond of snakes either. I'm proud of myself that I set the trap and disposed of the dead create and will rest it again, just in case.

On a pleasanter note, I found and brought home my first boulder. I have decided to terrace the hill with boulders for that is within my budget, free. I need to search them out and plant them like flowers on the hill. A lot of homes up here have rock walls. I will keep my eyes open for healthy prospects about that area that I am able to lift. The first one is in place in front of the new rose bushes and looks right fine there.

I also followed my whimsy up and down the roads and hills, finding new homes in forest settings, some still covered in snow, and getting more pictures for my collection. It was relaxing going at my own pace and stopping at will. The car heated up when I got home from all the climbing in low gear but recovered nicely within a few minutes.

There are marvelous homes set way back from the road with tall pines for a front yard and houses clinging to the side of a hill that is their front year if air can be a yard. Some are hidden behind a curve and like a miracle, or a mirage, come into view at a road's turn, like magic. Now you see it, now you don't only in reverse. There is so much more for me to explore and I would love to have family and friends just ramble with me and share my amazement and wonder.

I love to work in the garden and wonder what I can create here. I've never had a hill to work before. It is a new challenge, one I am anxious to see come to life. Somehow I want it to be magnificent, breathtaking, and peaceful, a tribute to Go for the gift of this home and my new life and experiences. I feel truly blessed.

Tomorrow I will bless this home. I will sprinkle Holy Water around it, burn the sage smudge stick and say a prayer and ask the angels to join me. I feel their presence. This is a place of healing, of peace, and of creativity. I ask God's guidance in all that I do.

03121990

Me, my friend and prospectives

Today I went with my camera driving and climbing with a friend. Not the slow pace that I usually go at but I did record, in my memory bank, places to revisit and photograph. We also went up to Mount Pinos where there is a more abundant amount of snow but there were lots of cars, kids, and snow bunnies covering the hills, as well as standing in the streets, it was hard to get may pictures as I am trying to capture the pristine beauty of nature, at this point, and not the tremendous activity of mankind spoiling it. It was a good day never the less and we both felt buoyed up after our exploration.

We stopped to let her black lab romp in the snow. As with most labs, she is very, very, hyper and knocked her owner down and then tried to drag her up the hill. All the while smiling in her playful doggy way. Luckily for my friend, she was able to regain her feet and convince her pet they were not going to climb the mountain. A family with small children arrived, running across the highway without looking, and we had to quickly hurry the lab away and into the car as she is not used to children and we didn't want to take any chances. She can be terribly hard to control and never seems to tire but certainly wears one out just being around her. She is wild about snow and even in the car will wildly go from side to side bouncing on anything in her path as if saying "its snow, its snow, its snow!" At this point, my friend and I both need to relax and unwind with a hot cup of tea.

It is an evening to be in touch with my friends and family. Friends called as well as three out of my four of my children and, as usual, it is wonderful to hear their voices, their news, and to share our adventures.

I delivered some of my greeting cards to the little gift store in town and am now waiting to hear from the owner. It is in God's hands but I am proud of myself for finally broaching the subject and for taking them in at all. I am not secure about selling myself and must learn to conquer this shyness in order to be successful in my graphics. I must also update my business cards and make some advertisements.

What do I want to concentrate on? I am excited with the thought of creating postcards. Many requests have been made to those who work in the village but there are not available up here. I am grateful for the suggestion and for being singled out to remedy the situation. I also thought I could mat and frame a few pictures for the store. I have heard that there is a lilac festival and I should rent a table. It's the big thing up here. Then I should like to paint some pictures from the photographs I am taking and get back to my angels as well. I started that series of pictures some time ago and have not finished the full series I want to create. One step at a time will get me to my destination and my goals.

03121990

Protected

I have to trust that my angle will assist me in my new beginnings. Teaching me faith, how to accept uncertainty, and give me a firm belief that all comes out right in the end. Let me follow my heart to live a committed and meaningful life. Give me the knowledge that I'm guided, loved, and protected at all times.

03201996

Creature of Light

Help me recognize my essence
which lies at the heart of my being
I'm a creature of light within
waiting to be all that I truly can

04041996

Bring Me to Life

Help me strip off my mask of illusion
to see that it is love that is the essence
bring me to life to walk in the light

04041996

Unexpected change

The mountains this morning are covered with low hazy clouds moving in and a cold biting wind is blowing. It looks as if another storm is attempting to visit God's country and as if winter is reluctant to let go of her grasp. Pesky, the squirrel, ever the early riser, was at the back deck before six-thirty this morning seeking his breakfast. By then the birds in the forest had started their morning serenade and the big stellar Jay came caw-caw-cawing out front. Morning gets well announced the mountains.

A half-moon shines in the pale blue sky hanging like a slice of lemon as dawn lightens the clouds, the night recedes, and now only puffs of gray clouds remain over the mountains behind. A new day is opening to the world.

After an unexpected call, my plans for the day become altered and I ready myself for a trip into town instead of the continued exploration of Pine Mountain. The high point is to develop two more rolls of film and to have the evidence of what I saw through a small eyehole revealed onto photo paper. Some are too shadowed but have promise in Photoshop where separate areas can be lightened without bleaching out other areas that do not need it, a wonderful tool. Parts that do not enhance the picture and actually distract from it can be cropped out. I look at the photos with the discerning eye, they are works of art to be re-created after their development. I am anxious to play with them on the computer but will have to wait for now.

I find some wonderful rose plants on sale. I've started a rose garden with one small patch of my hill and these will join the three small dwarf roses I have already planted. I also found a Carnation in a beautiful shade of rose pink. I am told they would to well up here so I will add it to the landscape. I'm still debating the best way to terrace the hill and where to start. I need some materials to work with. I have rocks of course but everyone up here has rocks. Do I add bricks or railroad ties? I need to look through more do-it-yourself books because that is what I will be doing. I am the worker as well as the thinker and creator but for tonight I am grateful just to be home and to have time to relax and rest my body and mind.

03131989

As spring comes

The snow melts little more each day. In some ways, it seems like the reverse of winter, like the ground is growing. Sometimes there's just an inlet of white connecting two areas of snow with brown dirt, rocks, and plants becoming more exposed. It is almost as if a rebirth were taking place, which in a way it is. At night from above, it almost looks like a map with oceans of snow against a continent of the land, large landmasses and smaller islands, all waiting exploration.

My hill is part of my own little world, constantly changing, evolving, growing, and developing as I am in this new area and phase of my life. I am starting a whole new chapter of my life and a new way of thinking. My work is now more mental and creative than physical. My exercise comes from the energy I put into my yard and home. God is in charge and He he has brought me to this place for peace and a purpose.

I am learning new things each day, making new choices, seeing with new eyes and always growing. I'm not the same person I was a few years ago and I feel the presence of the Angels very near me.

The expansive sky has never been as clear or bright elsewhere. The stars winking like diamonds speak to me of another world, a heaven that awaits that is beyond imagination. Nature is a part of all our lives in God's country. As the evening progresses the lights dim and go out in the houses around me and it is just myself and the night and God here soaking in the silence. The air is fresh and clean without the heaviness of the city. There is a sound that silence makes, it is called serenity through God's grace.

My fruit trees are beginning to bud, a sure sign that spring is on the way. More and more bulbs are making their way to the surface and soon it should be a riot of color in the front flowerbed. My small pine tree has unearthed itself from the snow and seems to be taller than when winter began. The igloo that my son and grandchildren built during their visit caved in long ago and is slowly melting into the earth and water runs down the hill in a fast-moving stream during the day. In the early mornings, when the air is still cold, there can be a danger of the ice on the ground. Something you learn quickly when you move to the mountains.

I'm looking forward to seeing the diverse gardens up here as spring turns into summer. I understand many others besides me enjoy their gardens and roses, poppies, tulips, and many other flowers, all of which will soon be in bloom transforming this paradise I call home once again.

03131990

Culture Shock

I count my blessings for the sunshine and to visit my dearest friend, as I have missed her company, her warmth, and her humor. We have shared our lives for many years and have a closeness I do not share with my own family I grew up in.

The first thing we did was share a big hug, then pictures. She shows me the changes she has made and I give her a card I had made just for her to give to her brother upon graduation.

I noticed all the changes in the area since I visited last, which wasn't even six months ago, especially the new housing tracks that are so close together and I am grateful for my own home in the hills of God's country and my land and trees and space. I feel a lack of breath in this closeness, the noise and the crowded, cramped, feeling of being on top of each other. It wasn't long ago that I lived in such an atmosphere and it was this impersonal, overpopulated way of living I wanted to leave behind and do not miss.

Her garden is a series of pots on the backyard deck and one orange tree in a corner. There is a lack of Birdsong and no scampering of little critters. Her view is of the neighbors instead of the mountains, open sky, magnificent clouds, forested areas, and the beauty of God's creation.

I miss my friends but not city living even though I must travel to do my major shopping and banking. I know when I am through I can return home to the peace of my mountain home. It is worth putting up with snow and winding roads and long drives. When I exit the freeway and point the car toward home I become aware of the beauty and feel it deep serenity and anticipation as well as relaxation spread through my veins and circulate in my blood. My whole being rejoices at the sight of the trees and beloved mountains, to take deep breathes of clean clear air that carries the scent of snow and pines. I do not hurry but take time to admire the beauty as I slowly wind my way home knowing that peace and serenity is but a short drive away, and the culture shock of the city is behind me

.09131992

Night and Day

There is nothing like the stars in a clear cloudless sky in the mountains set against a backdrop of a black border with trees and house shapes along the horizon in all directions. The world seems so vast up here and yet it is a fairly small community. The peace at night is something I treasure, as well as the chatter of nature during the day.

The wee birds who nest on my deck in a corner to catch some sleep or in the flower beds in the dirt along the sides of the house, their heads tucked beneath a wing and their eyes closed to the light but always alert to what is going on around them. At night they all return to their safe havens to awake in the morning when they will return to my house for more seed.

There is a rat nesting in my wood box and he has chewed away a the corner for easy access in and out and, of course, leaving droppings all around. I'm going to have to take action against it as it will not move and it is unhealthy so close to the house and he may try to find his way in. I know that rats are God's creatures too, but I cannot tolerate them. I do not know if it is eating in the birdfeeders or what.

I am appreciating the warmth of the past few days. I have actually been able to wear a T-shirt and to put away my sweater until evening. I've also been very tired and have suffered many headaches lately. I do not know if it is a sinus infection of a migraine. But each day's beauty is a gift and a blessing here nevertheless.

I have been concentrating on working on my genealogy and making progress although it can be confusing tracking the family back and forth and losing my place temporarily. My cousin keeps trying to send the GedCom file from France, without success, both to me and my son, perhaps it's just too large.

The snow is beginning to melt off. The driveway is clear, as are the flowerbeds, and more golden flowers are opening during the warm days. I have planted two small blueberry plants and will wait to see if they take root. The three little roses that have survived the winter indoors I planted on the hill and said a prayer that they too will prosper. The junipers look as if they have survived the winter and are greening up for spring. Here on the mountain, in God's country, I marvel at nature both night and day.

03171990

Moving Forward

My consciousness of the spirit within me is my unlimited source and connection to the divine power of God. It will give me back the years eaten away by locusts, fire, famine, and flood. It makes all things new, lifts me up to the heavens. This awareness, understanding, and knowledge of spirit appears as angels before me, making the road I need to travel visible.  Let me travel it wisely.

04041998

Sing Praise

There are days when even the birds choose to be quiet. These are the dark days of the soul. Know that God always helps us to rise again, the clouds pass, the sun shines once more and then the birds sing their praise for us. For this is the way of the world. If we didn't have the dark, we wouldn't appreciate the light, if we didn't have sorrow, we wouldn't know joy. There are days when we will feel still and empty, accept them, own them, and let them pass. Be troubled not, for a new day always dawns. So be grateful for each new day, for each has its own message for our hearts and souls. Be still and listen.

08301996

It doesn't always rain

Hardship makes us strong, remember, we must keep trying and learn to preserve. We must not close our hearts, but continue looking to the joy in everything, in the smallest things we do there's room to find gratitude. True, not every day is filled with rainbows or sunshine, but neither are they filled with rain. So, have some faith.

08301996

When you're ready

The Buddha will show you the way,
find him within.
A waiting door,
that needs to be opened.
When you're ready.

06181996

Can't defeat love

We can't hide from evil
it will find us in our fear
so, we must stand up to it
for it can't defeat love

04291996

Take the risk

Trusting in the goodness of life we have more joy. Trust reflects itself in all our choices, from the relationships we form, to the jobs and careers we pick, to how we love. All we need do is dare ourselves to take the risk.

04031996

Trust

Trust builds happiness
and bonds of love
just find the courage
and the reward is yours

04031996

Footprints

There are footprints in the snow leading up, leading out, and crossing the hill in ways roundabout. They're caught, ever captured from the porch in the light like a frightened rabbit being chased seeking safety and the night. Was it a hawk, a coyote, just what did it fear that caused these footprints across the snow to appear?

God does not give the snow-covered beauty just for me but for all those here that have the vision to see. Not just with the eyes but with love and spirit too. When we truly can see God's hand in everything we experience, we see anew. We have a chance to make each and every day to be in joy, be in grace, to be fully alive, to see the blessings in all things or to merely survive.

Each day is a gift and its slowly revealed with the sun arising or clouds overhead, the lift of the Birdsong and the sparkle of snow can be blessings in awareness in our tracks wherever we go. If we are willing to follow, to be open to change, to see each dapple of sunlight, soft falling rain, or wind-driven snow, not in cost but in gain. To not see a hardship they beauty bestowed in each sparkling snowflakes swirling and twirling from God in the heavens to the ground below. Think of each raindrop as a tear filled with love dropped down by the Angels and our Father above.

Footsteps can assure us of life all around like calling cards left in the snow on the ground. I am so very blessed to live in the most beautiful places filled with nature and seasons and led here by grace. Each morning when I arise I give thanks for this day and promise to be aware of each breath I take, of the squirrels and the birds to both share and partake of each moment, each sunbeam, each golden head flower, to savor each minute, treasure each hour. To not complain or bemoan another snowfall but to be grateful to live where it comes down at all.

Help me slow down to walk in the path where you have led me in peace to follow your track. God is the footprint I find in the snow, for He lives in all things and people I meet or those that I already know. He can take any form when coming to call, so be grateful when you see footprints to know He's here after all.

01011992

Winter beauty in the now

I still remember the first snowfall here in the wonder of waking to a white world after staying up late to watch the drifts build. I recall getting my camera to capture my first impressions on film in the numbing cold in my extremities.

I have my first memories of when Pesky, the squirrel,  began to call on the deck looking through the window hoping for a handout. Obviously, he has been fed winters before.

I've learned the difference snows: soft fluffy flakes, the wet ones that melt as they hit the ground, the pez snow that retains its round shape, and the slushy snow that is dense and heavy. Some snow clings to the leaves and the branches of trees waiting for the warmth of the sun to slowly melt it, dropping with resounding plops to earth. It also adheres to shovel when you're trying to clear a path or driveway and necessitates pounding the shovel to knock it free. There is the snow that flurries while the sky looks perfectly clear, the one that comes through heavy mists in the dense snow that whips in the wind, the sky darkened with storm clouds and freezing cold.

The snow hasn't changed but people here have. They've stopped seeing the beauty around. When the light hits, the snow still sparkles like diamonds. Bird and animal tracks can still be seen imprinted on the hills, decks, and right up to the door; and they still shiver at their feeders even when they too are being covered in white powder.

There are days when everything becomes as shades of black and white, days when the mountains are hidden from view or stand out in dark relief. There is ice that forms when the snow melts in the runoff freezes as the temperature drops and can be quite dangerous.

It hasn't been three months yet and it doesn't snow every day but I hear often how people are sick of the snow, how beautiful it is up here in spring or summer. The same thing they once said about the beauty of God's country in winter snow.

I marvel already at the small golden freesias blooming in one small spot in the green of many bulbs sprouting their promise of undisclosed color. I admire all the new variety of birds that come to feed in my yard and I see beauty still in the magnificence of God's creation everywhere I look and am grateful for each new day and all the wonder it brings.

02231996

Fog, snow and weekenders

I am up way before the dawn. My mind has been a factory of churning ideas all night but I feel rested nonetheless. The sky is clear except for a group of clouds hanging over the mountains out back. A golden glow peeks through the trees of the mountain out front and could almost be mistaken for a bright porch light except for the glow that backlights the trees on the horizon and you know it is Mr. Moon sinking to bring night to other areas of the world as Mr. Sun arises to the day.

A large Stellar Jay comes to sit on the pinnacle of the neighbor's roof and the squirrels begin to arrive for breakfast. The sound of the quail in the hill across the road comes drifting in before their appearance as they run, sliding down my hill, after crossing the street in twos and threes. The birds arrive in groups and varieties of color in song to welcome the new day. Good morning world, you're up and so are we, ready for another wonderful day in God's country.

In meditation, I slip into the universe and it into me, fused, we are one. When I step outside, a deep, damp fog, comes rolling in, almost hiding my own house from view. The hills are is if absent, as are the houses and trees around me. I feel engulfed in the moistness of fog.

I doubted I would go to the post office when my friend called and offered me a ride. The greeting cards are being postponed getting to the antique store, as is the stair rail to me. The weather here does have a way of controlling our activities. I saw a lone Common Redpoll, which is unusual up here. It was sitting in my flower bed when I return from the post office, another breed add to my list of birds.

This afternoon I started work on the family, tree getting the Canadian branch of the family in order. It took me quite a while to get my cousin Jeanne, her eleven children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all accounted for.

At five, when I again visited the outside, the sky was letting small flakes of snow fall. Within two hours 3 inches was already on the ground and the wind had picked up. Another night of snowfall is upon us. Neighbors are asking if winter will ever end. The lights are on at the weekender's house across the way. I imagine they came up for some snow find before it is gone for the year. It is time to relax and enjoy the evening myself.

01021989

Paint and pictures

It's a beautiful day before me. God's sun and warmth shine down upon me. As I look out my back window I watch the sky lighten and the mountains take on a more distinctive flavor. The dark shapes become trees and clearing, houses, and life beyond. The clouds clear to the smooth endless sky and the squirrels and birds begin to arrive in a natural activity brings breath to the quiet.

It is time to get back to work on transforming my space. Today, I will tackle the hall and create a clear white background with the paint is chipped in density pinkish beige, some might call Navajo white, now resides. Time to mask, paper and prepare my workspace. As my roller was lost to the winds and my paint trays in the snow out back. I only have brushed to work with but that will do nicely.

I feel such satisfaction is at work and a fresh coat of paint is like opening a window and letting in the light. When the snows are completely over I need to have the carpets cleaned and put a protective cover of clear plastic over the stairs as they take a terrible beating and are extremely hard to clean.

When I'm finished and all is dry, I rehang the family pictures. All is ready now for the stair rail to be installed and to hang more family faces to what I call my rogues gallery. I relax by working on the computer and have visions of creating one picture of the two brothers, my dad, and my uncle.

I'm being urged internally to have faith and take my pictures to town that have been transformed by the help of technology into greeting cards of the area and have captured a bit of its beauty. This first series is of course of the winter wonderland in God's country. Time to do more exploring while all the snow is still on the ground and see what other views I can collect on film.

I am sore but satisfied at evening's end and take a walk in the darkness for a new view. The house of many windows is lit up for display and above it hangs a full moon with a vapor trail of light crossing before it. I get my camera to capture it on film. I do not know how much will be exposed but that is part of the discovery. I also take a picture of my house, all lighted windows against the dark shapes of mountains, and the neighbors all say it is beautiful.

02191989

Thoughts of expansion and exploration

I can always hear the scamper of little feet; only here they are not children but furry, fluffy-tailed squirrels. Nevertheless, they are God's children too and he created them with the same love He has created all things with. I'm grateful to be able to provide some nourishment for them and they give me back much amusement with their antics.

I have finish shoveling the driveway, once again, and water runs off coursing down to the backyard as the sun slowly melts the snow, never clearing it completely this winter since the storms began but doing its best when it is warm to keep the drifts from getting out of hand. One small edge of the flower bed has melted off and a tiny golden freesia is peeking out from below, again surviving a pile of snow atop it.

I often wonder if there is an empty lot between my home and the neighbor's due to the vast space occupied by trees between them. I envision clearing part of it and building a garage with a studio atop where I can set up my drawing table, have a skylight, plenty of window light, storage, and a walkway to my house, as well as a gallery wall to display my artwork. It would be quite right to have an art studio as my home is perfect for living, especially for one, but will not accommodate my big drawing table, which is really a door. What you think God? Maybe even a second computer for my graphics.

I really feel that I need a place of business, what better way to walk to work if the lot was for sale, I could purchase it, and afford to build a dual-purpose studio/garage that would fill both my needs. I can see the clearing quite well and I would build up instead out, leaving the maximum forest area untouched for God's creatures in the unspoiled beauty of the land.

I still have not journeyed the depth and width of my backyard and I feel I should do that before long. To explore the pines that are part of my property. To get my country legs under me and not be in fear of falling down the hill, and to judge the best area to create a path using natural rocks as well as some stairs in the steep areas. It is a wonderful, peaceful, area to walk, to be in touch with God and nature. To find a spot to sit and meditate and just be at one with my surroundings.

God has led me to this area for a purpose and all will be revealed in time. Meanwhile, it is time to expand my horizons and to explore God's country in more depth.

04161990

Finally I can shovel

I awake to another day of bone-chilling winds that make it too cold to shovel, they eat right through my layers of clothing and even the squirrels retreat to their homes without finishing their meals. The winds always seem to proceed the storm and the air begins to take on a hazy texture that is snow laden as clouds begin to gather. We had some snow during the night, as well as rain. It hasn't let up in three days and it is best to stay indoors where there is at least a semblance warmth. I do get the decks cleared off early though and put out the squirrel's breakfast.

When the winds die down I take the opportunity to start shoveling the driveway one scoop at a time. I do not think beyond that. The slushy snow is much heavier. We have to remember to give thanks when it is only soft flaky snow, but I managed to get all the way to my car before quitting for the day at noon.

It is time for rejuvenating shower and to get ready for my ride to the post office. I am grateful for the friends who take me. They truly are a blessing. I'm able to mail one of my daughter's packages, the other will go out tomorrow. I insure it to be on the safe side and don't know whether I've insured a box of people magazines or baby clothes as I couldn't tell which box was which when I grabbed them. Either way, I'll insure both and they will be the priciest people magazines shipped.

Peeker, the squirrel, has conquered the birdfeeder hanging from the eaves, the ingenious brat. He climbs up the side of the house and then leaps onto it. No feeders sacred to the squirrels and they are greedy, fluffy-tailed, craters with tremendous appetites and a perseverance many people could learn from. I think the fruit-nut mix I filled the birdfeeder with is an added enticement. It seems there will never be enough feeders to accommodate all the birds, squirrels, chipmunks, and many other critters living in the forest.

Now both squirrels are trying to protect their space from invasion I haven't gotten to the tree feeders because of the heavy snow, but soon, I hope.

01031992

Wet snow and rain

The winds howled through the night and the snow kept falling as well as building up to ever greater heights. Then the rains and wet snow came creating a heavy mush difficult and weighty to move. I cleared the decks only so I could put out seeds for the squirrels that came despite the inclement weather. They are more punctual than the postal carriers. The quail came in droves running down the hill as if a pot of gold were waiting at the bottom.

Everything today is as if seen through a layer of gauze, the moisture thick and damp. It is a good day to work on my greeting cards. I look through my recent photographs and decide which parts I would like to reproduce in card form and what I choose to eliminate. Two are gray, two-toned ones that remind me of today, almost monochrome, taken from the back deck. One is of a sunset with the mountain, a black relief in front and green tree branches in the foreground. It is quite diverse from the previous pictures and offers more variety and dimension to God's country.

The air is crisp when I step out for a break and I add another layer of clothes to ward off the chill. Today's a good day also to concentrate on my correspondence with his family. There is a treasured feeling to the written word, a cheerful card arriving in the mail that electronic greetings cannot substitute for, although they do serve their purpose. I believe we put more thought into a written letter than an electronic one.

I have correspondence from my childhood and they can re-create memories of times gone past, resurrect a loved one as we trace an old signature and lovingly written words. Sometimes I come across a pressed flower inserted within, still recognizable as a pansy or a rose. I will try to make my words today meaningful to those who receive them and seal them with blessings and send them on wings of Angels so that they too will know they are loved.

The winds come up in the evening in a new frenzy of cold that cuts through to the core. Big white billowing clouds gather beyond the mountain and the haze is not quite so dense as before. Now at least I can see the houses behind me and the smoke rising from chimneys where neighbors gather to ward off the cold as do I.

12241990

Blowing in the wind

The gale force winds blew through the night and still continue today. The birds cling to the trees with heavy grasps, swaying with the big Oak. The decks have been cleared of any husks and debris. One feeder was a casualty, the one for the hummingbirds, which apparently came crashing down and the plastic insert shattered. I might be able to replace that piece, we will see.

The snow started blowing about eight the morning, furiously changing directions with the winds, sometimes hard and heavy and then tapering off but the wind itself is constant, powerful and threatening. There is no point in putting food out on the deck, as it would only be blown away immediately and only one squirrel made a brief appearance. I am grateful for my double paned windows and the barrier I made for the rear door.

Some birds, including the quail, have come to the front Hill and to visit the feeders, many now lighting on the front deck while the cats keep watch. The snow turned into a blizzard burying everything in its wake but when the wind let up to a tolerable level the squirrels came, having missed breakfast, wanting lunch. Pesky, the squirrel, was begging and scratching at the window and he ate shivering all a while, nut by nut, but grateful! I filled all the birdfeeders as well, as they too were hungry, trying to fly to a feeder but being blown sideways in the wind, however they were determined.

The raging storm caused a power outage and the cable remained off for hours. My neighbor attempted to call me but I could not locate my plain Jane phone so I hiked over to her house up the Hill, down the road, and across the bridge. She was pleased to see me and have a little company as her husband has been away for days. I'm blessed to have such wonderful people around me as well as one of the most beautiful places in the world to live.

I will have plenty of snow to shovel when the storm is over. In the meantime, I'll get a head start by clearing the decks so that I am able to stand outdoors without tracking it back inside with me and make it easier going tomorrow. I'm sure it will continue through the night and into the week.

02141992

A fulfilling day

The sounds of nature this morning were joyous, like a chorus of one thousand singers in complete harmony with the full-blown orchestra in accompaniment, almost as if a riot of color in song. What a glorious day, the birds were saying and I agreed.

There has been much activity at the feeders. It is funny to watch the small wrens chase away the larger finches and of course, the Blue Jays try to dominate everything. The squirrels were playing a game of chase clear across the yard, up the side of the neighbor's house and onto the roof. Of course, I realize it is not in fun but a declaration of territory.

Filled all the suet feeders, including the new one, with a variety of flavors and put the new birdfeeder in the backyard and stayed to watch the investigation. First, the blue jay tried to stand on the side with little luck as this one is built for the smaller birds, then the finch tried feeding and finally, a gray squirrel was going from trunk to branch from tree to tree in an attempt to get it for himself, unsuccessfully. He finally left to steal the seed from the tree feeder he usually rocks. I'm grateful to be getting a few that are better squirrel resistant or the poor birds would be going without.

I'm excited to be going off the mountain again today as my friend invited me to accompany her to Bakersfield and have lunch out, also my neighbor has invited me to play Bingo tonight so I will have a very full day.

The cats are all at their window stations enjoying the sun, napping and birdwatching. They certainly love the wide ledges on the windowsills. It is peaceful and quiet for now.

Lunch was excellent, the chili relleno burrito, and I treated myself to some Good Earth Tea at Trader Joe's and some cheese bread for sandwiches. I was tired when we arrived home but again contented to be back on the mountain in God's country.

I met several neighbors at bingo and one and all were warm and friendly as well as funny and openly sharing. I even got to wear the Seuss hat and laugh at myself along with others. Luckily we arrived home before the big winds came, the back door could not be contained as the force the wind slammed it open again and again until I popped heavy articles against it. Thank you God for showing me the need of the deadbolt.

03131990

Shopping for Anne

Morning dawns gently today as the sky is overcast. There is a far-off rumbling of thunder. I have portioned out and filled all the feeders; Pesky's on the back deck, Peeker's on the front, a bowlful on the lower deck for the wee Chipmunks, the one in the trees, emptied just yesterday by a greedy squirrel, as well as throwing a bowl's worth on top of the hill. One Blue Jay screams loudly for me to hurry and go inside so he can steal the peanuts before the squirrel comes. One big gray came scampering down the neighbor's tree and is feasting on the Hill, soon the many quail will be here as well.

I will load up on seed, suet and treats in town. I almost postponed my drive to Santa Clarita as the snow started coming down but the minute there was a break in the clouds and the road seemed clear I was off on a wing and a prayer, trusting in God to watch over me on my journey and get me safely home.

As usual, when I went to the baby store, looking for a little outfit for Anne for Easter, I went a little crazy and bought her all kinds of jumpers, hats, dresses and bows. It seems to fill something within me for the lack of being near enough to hold and cuddle her, watch her learn to lift her chest, roll over and discover her feet, sing her lullabies and get wet sloppy kisses. I also found some bunny ears that my daughter was searching for. I'm certain it is a prop for more pictures.

I bought yet another birdfeeder. There are so many birds that come and the squirrels dominate as many feeders as they can, stealing all the seed. It's a month's worth of shopping in one grand spree. I bought more cat, bird, and squirrel supplies than for myself. God will supply for my needs as He has blessed me in return many times.

One of my former coworkers called and during our phone visit I mentioned looking for another curio cabinet for my many Angels. She just got a new one and is going to give me her small one as a gift. I can only accommodate a small one as my cabin is small with lots of windows that take up much of the wall space but bring in the beauty of my surroundings inside better than a picture for it is in constant change. God's generosity and love have already been promised and I am grateful.

02131990

Little Bird Friends

Pink fingers of dawn are edging their way up behind the mountain ridge, pushing the dark gray clouds ever higher, illuminating the houses along the pinnacle. Occasional lights go on and you know neighbors are awakening to the day and soon a bird song is sending out its own greetings and praise.

It's a warm and sunny day in the mountains. The oak tree is filled with a variety of birds; Big Blues, small brown wrens, salmon and coral finches, pine grosbeak, northern wheatear, a few titmouse, stellar jays, one robin, a few towhees, sparrows, and lots of Oregon juncos. The cats are enjoying watching the activity between naps.

The snow has melted off the front flower bed and the golden freesias are again in bloom, one little sparkle but there are more bulbs thrusting up their heads.

Crum, the old cat, carries on a soft conversation either to the birds or to herself about the birds. A young sparrow was sitting in my flower bed and didn't move when I walked around, it was tossing empty shells as it can find anything to eat so I threw more seed out.

The Chipmunks have their own bowl of seeds and the wee one who lives under my deck fills his mouth with as many as he can, sits in the sun and crack some open one at a time, enjoying his own private picnic. I am down to my last container of seed and hope to make a run into Santa Clarita tomorrow and have added two big bags to my list necessities, at least the squirrels and birds claim it as one and they're worth the expense. I still have half a big bag of peanuts.

I received more wonderful pictures of my new grandbaby she can certainly push her head up from the floor now and she has her mama's big blue eyes. It's quite noticeable now how much her hair has lightened.

I had a yellow rumped warbler up on my front deck. It sat right near me as if dozing for a nap. It allowed me to go in for my camera and stayed for a picture, as calm as could be. It was here earlier, solo also. I find it quite unusual that I can approach it so closely and it seemingly has no fear. The variety of birds that I share the mountain with is increasing daily.

01131991